German Translation: Semesterferien von TenaTim
Chapter 1 – Home again
This is a short story about Tammy, a college freshman returning home for spring break. She is 5’ 4” slender with long red hair. She is the youngest of 3 children. Her best friend Sara 5’6” with shoulder length brown hair lives across the street. They have had a secret crush on each other for years and Sara was always jealous of Tammy’s little problem growing up. The events take place during her spring break.
“Finally,” Tammy said to herself as she pulls unto the driveway. The three hour drive home is finally at an end and she can officially begin her break. She brings her bags in from her car and takes them into her room. Exhausted from her trip she decides to take a nap,
“Knock, knock,” Tammy’s mom shouts playfully poking her head into the room to roust her daughter from her nap.
“Hi, mom,” replies Tammy getting up to give her mom a hug.
“How is school sweetie?”
“Tiring, I think I may sleep the whole week.”
“Well before you slip into a week long coma I need your help. Your father is having a new air conditioner and furnace installed next week and I want you to go through the boxes that are piled up in the basement since most of it is your stuff.”
“Alright I’ll do it after dinner Sara is coming over and she can help me.”
“Sure thing, dinner will be ready in a few.”
After dinner Tammy conned Sara into helping her sort through her stuff. Sara accompanied her Tammy to the basement to begin looking through the boxes from her childhood. Tammy opened the first box and dumped the contents on the floor
“Ok we can use this box to put anything you want to keep in this box and the rest can go into these bags” Sara offered helpfully.
“I don’t know if I can condense this all down to one box”
“This stuff has been collecting dust down here for years I’m sure you can live without most of it.”
Tammy rolled her eyes and began sorting through the pile. The first box contained some of her stuffed animals many of which had seen better days. She picked out a teddy bear her aunt gave her when she was little and “Mr. Turtle” a stuffed turtle she slept with as a child and placed them in the box while Sara placed the remaining ones in the garbage sacks.
The next box was filled with old school work and drawings. Tammy the papers her and picked out a few sentimental masterpieces to preserve for her mom before discarding the rest and moving onto box number three.
“Wow my Cabbage Patch Dolls I almost forgot I had these,” Tammy said reaching in to get one out.
“I remember the day when your bed was covered with them it took 10 minutes to take them off at night and put them back on in the morning.” Sara teased.
“You are just jealous of how awesome I was.” Tammy fired back playfully.
“You know me so well. Why did you ever take them out?” Sara asked.
“It just seemed like the right thing to do when I got to High School.” Tammy answered.
“You should put a few up on a shelf or something” Sara suggested.
Tammy begins pulling out the dolls one by one and looking them over surprised that she could still remember most of their names. As she picks up Ariel, a red haired girl wearing a little mermaid shirt and a size 1 Luvs diaper with Barney on it, she realizes something isn’t right.
“Gross there were mice in here,” she said showing Sara the telltale droppings that were clinging to Ariel’s hair.
“Eww gross. Well guess that solves the question of what to do with them.” Sara said opening a garbage bag and placing it under Ariel. Tammy did not move and Sara noticed tears beginning to build in Tammy’s eyes. “Don’t cry we can try washing them” she offered hoping to cheer up her friend.
“No it’s ok” Tammy answered sniffling slightly, “I am an adult now and they are disgusting time to throw them away.” As Tammy finished her sentence she let go of Ariel and the cute redhead landed in the open garbage bag.
Sara held open the trash sack while Tammy puts the mouse infested dolls in it. She says goodbye to them one by one as she drops them in the garbage bag. Her mom, checking on their progress, convinces her to keep her first doll Sandra a brunette with blue eyes and also Alyson who was a gift from her grandmother. The remaining 21 fill 3 garbage bags.
The next box contains her care bears. Tammy saves a Funshine bear and Love a lot and bags up the rest.
They go through two more boxes of dolls and stuffed animals saving a few sentimental items and filling 6 more garbage bags. Tammy opens another box and looks puzzled.
“Mom why did you keep these?” her face turning red as she holds up a package of goodnites.
“I don’t know honey when you stopped wetting the bed I just stored them in case you needed them again. Fortunately you never did.”
Sara had a smirk on her face but stayed quiet not wanted to embarrass her friend.
Tammy put the partially open bag of goodnites along with two more unopened ones in a bag and tied it shut. The rest of the box had some old sheets to a bed she no longer owned. Finally finished going through the boxes, Tammy sat back and surveyed their accomplishment. Six boxes sorted through 16 bags to throw away and one box of sentimental items to wash and save.
“Good job. Now let’s get these bags out to the alley.”
Sara, Tammy, and her mom began hauling the bags two at a time out back for pickup tomorrow. Slowly but surely the pile of bags began to pile up until finally Tammy dropped bags fifteen and sixteen on top of the pile. She looked at the pile then said “wow that sure is a big pile.”
“Yeah you sure had a lot of stuff” Sara answered
Tammy lingered surveying the bagged up remains of her childhood. She went over each bag again and making a mental note of the contents stuffed animals, school work, cabbage patch dolls, her hand stopped when she reached the bag of goodnites she quickly realized Sara was looking at her and said “I am going inside are you coming.”
“I’ll be right in I need to get something from my car,” replied Sara.
Once Tammy was out of sight she untied the bag and pulled out one of the goodnites. She surveyed it remembering how Tammy had to wear one each night until she was 14. A flood of memories came rushing back to her she was always jealous of Tammy. She put two goodnites in her pocket and went back inside.
Sara closed the room and sat down next to Tammy. “How you doing?” she asked.
“Alright just got a bit nostalgic.”
“Yeah sorting through a lifetime of stuff will do that. I noticed you staring at the goodnites …” Sara stopped talking as she saw embarrassment in Tammy’s face. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I was always a bit jealous of you. You had all those dolls and got to wear diapers.”
“Got to?” Tammy asked dumbfounded.
“I know it’s stupid and you hated it but I always thought you were so cute in them. I always wanted to try one on but was too embarrassed to ask.”
“Oh.” Tammy replied. “Well there are a few packs in the garbage if you really wanted to…”
Sara smiled and took the goodnites out of her pocket. “Will you put one on too?” Sara asked her voice trembling a bit as she held out a diaper to Tammy.
Tammy nodded and took the goodnite from her. She opened it and stretched the sides. I must be crazy she thought. After a moment of hesitation she took off her pants and put the goodnite on. Surprised that it still fit she examined herself in the mirror.
“You are just adorable” Sara said, “How do I look?” Sara did a 360 so Tammy could see her in all her diapered glory.
“If anyone can make a diaper look sexy its you.” Tammy answered.
Sara blushed and told her thanks. Since it had been a long day they decided to call it a night. Tammy grabbed her pajamas and was about to take off the goodnite when Sara begged “please keep it on we can both wear them to bed.”
Tammy reluctantly agreed. She lay in bed remembering all those nights as a child. She was always so embarrassed that she still wet the bed and was so happy when she finally stopped. So why did she let Sara talk her into wearing a goodnite?
Despite feeling exhausted Tammy had a hard time falling to sleep. Images of her childhood kept creeping into her thoughts. After hours of drifting in and out of sleep Tammy finally gave up and just let her mind wander. She remembered how her room used to look. She remembered her Cabbage Patch Dolls how she loved having them on her bed but she was afraid to sleep with them in case her goodnite leaked. She could feel her goodnite and instinctively looked over to the corner where her dolls were always piled up and smiled; however her smile was short lived, when she looked over the corner was empty and she remembered. Her dolls no longer lived on her bed. They were now sitting outside in the garbage waiting for the garbage man to collect them. She remembered the faces of her dolls as she put them in the trash bags and began to regret her decision. She was suddenly glad her mom had insisted that she save two of them; however, of the two she saved two of her favorites Ariel and Samantha were not among them. Tammy remembered throwing Ariel away because of the mouse droppings in her hair. At the time the doll had seemed so dirty and it caused her to forget how much she loved her and she began to cry.
“What’s wrong?” Sara asked.
Tammy told her about the dolls and how much she missed them.
“Well if they are important to you then let’s go get them.” Sara said beginning to get up.
“Aright but not now first thing in the morning I am warm and comfy right now.” Tammy answered snuggling up to Sara as she drifted back to sleep.
The faint hiss of air breaks and the roar of a diesel engine got Tammy’s attention. The garbage truck was in the alley and she still hadn’t rescued Ariel and Samantha. Tammy rushed downstairs and outside. On her way she realized she had to pee. If she stopped to go to the bathroom, it would be too late so she went in the goodnite. It had been over four years since Tammy had peed in her pants and this was the first time she could recall that she had ever done it when awake. The sensation as the pee splashed against her skin and soaked into the diaper was oddly pleasant but Tammy did not have time to dwell on it.
Tammy reached the garbage pile just as the truck was pulling up to her house. Oh great she thought, sixteen bags to go through and ten seconds to do it. She knew Ariel was at the bottom of one of the bags but Samantha was probably in the middle of a different bag. To make matters worse, there was no order to the pile. The three bags of Cabbage patch dolls were scattered randomly throughout the massive pile. With no better idea she decided to just start going through the pile and hope for the best. The very top bag was the one with the goodnites. Despite the lack of time she, felt the need to move the bag away from the pile. Moving the bag cost her the precious few remaining seconds and the garbage man got out of his truck and walked to the pile.
“Good morning,” he said as he bent over and picked up two of the bags to throw in his truck. As he walked to the back of the truck to load them he noticed their contents and commented “throwing out some old dolls I see, any of them yours?” As he finished the sentence he lobbed the bags into the truck. They appeared to go in slow motion as the two bags, one filled with care bears and the other with her cabbage patch dolls, floated into the truck. They bounced off the compactor blade before landing on top of the bags of trash from the house next door.
Tammy cursed her luck, out of fifteen bags one of the first two had to be one with cabbage patch dolls in it. Now what, she thought to herself. Deciding that she already must look a bit foolish standing next to a pile of garbage in her pajamas she decided to bite the bullet.
“Yeah, actually all of them are mine. Mom wanted me to clean out my stuff from the basement while I am home on break. Unfortunately, I did it so fast I think I accidentally threw away some sentimental dolls one of which may be in the bag you just threw in. I just discovered it this morning and didn’t have time to look before you pulled up.”
“Well I’ll tell you what,” he said reaching down for another bag. “I will put the bags next to the truck if you think you want anything inside them just tear the bag open.” Throw anything you don’t want in the truck and set the keepers down on the ground.”
“Thank you very much.”
The garbage man set the bag of dolls he had picked up next to the truck and reached and tore open the two bags already in the truck and spread the contents out so Tammy could sort through them quickly. Tammy quickly found her target. Ariel was laying face down on a bag of diapers from next door. Tammy retrieved her and surveyed the rest to be sure Samantha was not in there. Satisfied that Samantha was not she picked up the next bag. Some Barbie’s and small plastic baby dolls and accessories she puts the bag in the truck and is unable to look away. The sight of six cabbage patch dolls scattered in the truck surrounded by garbage combined with the smell of the garbage truck is too much for her. They belong in my bed not in this rancid truck she thought. She reached in and took out Beth a brunette with green eyes as well as Summer a blond girl with blue eyes. She surveyed the remaining four but found bite marks, mouse droppings and urine stains on them. Reluctantly she admits they are goners and moves on to the next bag. She makes quick work of a bag of stuffed animals and school work and is ready for another bag when the garbage man interrupts her.
“I need to run the compactor real quick so it will give you a minute to sort through some of these.”
Tammy nodded and looked over the bags piled next to the truck. The roar of the engine got her full attention and she couldn’t help but watch as the truck’s compactor ran. The blade retracted which caused garbage to spill out from inside the truck back into the hopper. The garbage rushing out pushed the items in the hopper forward two of her cabbage patch dolls were pushed to the front facing her with their arms outstretched as if begging her to get them out of there. The sight tugged at Tammy’s heart but not enough to risk doing something foolish. The scene did not last long as the blade descended down and covered the garbage. Once the blade was down the garbage man signaled that it was ok for her to put more bags in.
Tammy put a bag of old school work and one with stuffed animals in the truck. They rested against the blade which was only beginning to move back up, compacting the trash as it drew it into the truck. Two more bags, one filled with sheets the other with doll accessories, went into the truck. As the blade retracted Tammy’s ears were assaulted with cracking and popping sounds as the blade crushed the mixture of dolls and garbage. Tammy tore open a bag of dolls and spilled the contents into the truck but did not see anyone worth pulling out. She looked up and saw the blade returning to its resting position as the blade pulled to a stop Tammy could see the crushed cabbage patch dolls poking out from under the blade. A leg from one a flattened head from another and the bag of dirty diapers right up next to them. She quickly looked away and focused on the next bag which was the second of three containing her cabbage patch kids. She tore open the bag to reveal seven more of the dolls.
She debated which to save and which to cast into the hell of the garbage truck to be destroyed. The top two a boy Ryan and a girl Kristina were both covered in droppings but otherwise undamaged so she set them aside. Three more Piper, Ben, and Nick were dirty and not sentimental enough to save so she reluctantly flipped them into the truck. She found Samantha near the bottom of the sack no chew marks but covered in drippings and her body had urine stains on her. The sight broke her heart one of the two dolls she desperately wanted to save was ruined. While she stared at Samantha debating what to do the garbage man dumped the can with the household trash and signaled to her that he was going to run the compactor. Numbly she set Samantha down in the truck and stood back.
The garbage man began the cycle and she could see the dolls crushed in the first cycle. After only one round with the merciless machine they were flattened and dirty. Oh my God, she thought that is about to happen to Samantha. The blade covered the trash and began to compact it.
”STOP!” She yelled.
“What is it?” the garbage man asked as he hit the stop button freezing the cycle.
“I made a mistake I need to get that last one out of there.”
“The blade is already half up she is probably smashed by now”
”Please just release it and let me see.” Tammy said beginning to tear up.
The garbage man pulled the release lever dropping the load back into the hopper.
“Stay back and let me look I don’t want you getting hurt. What does she look like?”
Tammy described Samantha.
“She is one of the cabbage patch dolls like these.” She said pointing to the dolls piled up on the curb “red hair wearing an orange dress I set her down on the right side of the truck just as you began the cycle.”
The garbage man poked around for a minute. “Is this her?” He asked holding up a doll.
“Yes, thank you.”
Tammy inspected the doll as the garbage man finished the cycle. She was a little dirtier from the truck and her face was dented slightly but was already returning to its original form. Another few seconds and her face would have been destroyed but she had avoided any permanent damage. Her outfit was probably ruined but after removing her clothes and diaper, Tammy discovered her body was in good shape.
Tammy decided she could not subject any more of her Cabbage Patch dolls to the torturous death inside the garbage truck and set the final bag aside without even looking at it. She loaded the final 3 bags of stuffed animals and dolls into the truck sorry for what was about to happen to them but satisfied that she had rescued the important ones.
The driver ran one final cycle. Tammy saw the bags containing her dolls and Care Bears fall back mixed with garbage from dozens of homes. She saw the dirty diapers pressed into the loose cabbage patch dolls their faces caved in and their bodies and hair smeared in gel and poop from the diapers. Tammy watched as the blade came down and a big piece of her childhood disappeared inside the truck compacted with the rest of the unwanted garbage. As the truck moved on she focused on what remained, three packages of goodnites and thirteen dolls. I must be crazy. She gathered up the refugees and took them inside.
Tammy took the dolls into the laundry room. Sandra, Alyson and the two care bears were sitting on the shelf. Her mom must have washed them last night. She put the other dolls in the washer and went back upstairs with the packages of goodnites. She took off the wet diaper and wondered how she was going to dispose of it. I should have thrown this in the truck, she thought to herself. She rolled the diaper up and put it in a Wal-Mart sack I’ll put it in my room for now and she put on a fresh one.
She sat down on her bed and realized how tired she was. Her heart had been beating a mile a minute ever since she rushed out to the trash pile. She began to think about what had just happened about her cherished childhood toys crushed in a garbage truck and began to cry. She had to pee and just let it go in the goodnite.
“What is wrong sweetie?” Sara asked in a caring voice as she woke up and saw her friend in tears.
“I heard the garbage truck” she sobbed, “My dollies were still there. I ran out to save them and I had to pee. I went in my pants” Tammy’s voice cracked as she kept crying. “The garbage man was already throwing my dolls in the truck I had to ask him to stop. I saved a few but the ones I left I saw them crushed in that horrible truck. My dollies crushed with that awful smelling garbage. How could I do that to my dollies?” Tammy paused and looked into the mirror. She saw herself wearing a pajama top and a wet goodnite and suddenly felt very ridiculous. I am an eighteen year old college freshman and I just rushed out to the street in my pajamas and a wet diaper and rummaged through the garbage for a bunch of dolls I outgrew years ago, and now I am sitting in my room crying over the ones I threw away and peeing my pants. Sara must think I am a lunatic.
“It’s ok baby” Sara said as she stroked Tammy’s neck. “Your babies were very important to you. Now lie down and let Sara get her little girl out of this wet diapee.”
Tammy lay back on the bed as Sara pulled off her goodnite. She threw the soaked diaper to the ground and climbed on the bed over Tammy. Sara looked into her eyes asking the question she had never dared ask. Tammy nodded and Sara bent down and kissed her. Sara pulled off Tammy’s shirt and began licking her breasts while Tammy slid her hand down Sara’s diaper. Tammy rubbed Sara’s clit and Sara began grinding her diaper up against Tammy’s pussy while licking her breasts and neck. Sara kept grinding until Tammy began to shake from orgasm. The sight of Tammy’s orgasm combined with Tammy’s nimble fingers and her full bladder caused Sara to lose it she shook violently giving into her own ecstasy.
“That was amazing.” Tammy said as the shaking stopped.
“I have wanted to do that to you for years but never well I never thought you felt that way about me” Sara answered her and she began to squirm as the pressure built in her bladder.
“You have always been a great friends I guess I always kinda had a crush on you too” Tammy said “why the squirmy face?”
“I really need to pee” Sara said.
“So pee silly you still have your diaper on. Come on I did it not it’s your turn.” Tammy taunted Sara playfully. “Here let me help you” Tammy began to tickle Sara and that was all it took as she let loose a flood of pee came rushing into her diaper overloading it causing it to leak soaking Tammy and her bed.
“Oh no I leaked” Sara said a bit embarrassed.
“No worries” Tammy replied, “I think these sheets were going to need washed anyway.”
“Good point” agreed Sara who moved to begin removing the sheets.
“Not so fast” Tammy scolded her “I believe you forgot to finish something.” A moment of confusion passed over Sara’s face when Tammy gestured at the soiled goodnite on the floor. “You owe me a fresh diaper.”
“Oh yeah I did get a bit distracted” Sara agreed as she went over to get a fresh goodnite out of the pack and put it on Tammy. “Good thing you got these out of the garbage. There now do me” Sara said as she traded places with Tammy on the bed.
Tammy pulled the pee soaked diaper off of Sara “wow mommy sure had a full bladder good thing she was wearing one of my diapees.” Tammy pulled a clean goodnite up and gave Sara a kiss. “All done.” She said proudly as Sara got up.
Sara looked at herself and Tammy in the mirror “we sure do make a cute couple in our diapers. Now about these sheets.”
“Yeah better get them washed before mom gets home” Tammy agreed.
Tammy and Sara finished washing the dolls and sheets about an hour before her mom got home. They took the dolls up to her room and Sara arranged them on her bed. “There now my baby’s room is back to the way it should be.” Sara noticed the tired look in Tammy’s eyes and told her “baby has had a busy morning I think it is time for her nap.”
“Ok” Tammy agreed “will you take a nap with me mommy?”
“I would love to baby” Sara answered getting into bed with Tammy. They lay down next to each other and cuddled. Tammy reached over to give Sara a kiss. Sara returned the kiss and as they embraced each gently slid their hand down the other’s diaper. When they were finished they fell asleep peacefully in each other’s arms surrounded by the dolls.
They awoke to the sound of knocking on her bedroom door.
“Wake up sleepy head.”
“What time is it,” Tammy asked not yet awake enough to realize how she must look.
“It’s almost three. I was going to give you a hard time about sleeping all day but it looks like you were up earlier. I see you had a change of heart this morning.”
Tammy’s mind jolted awake as she remembered how she fell asleep. She was grateful the sheets were covering them since she felt foolish enough about the dolls.
“Going through my stuff brought back a lot of memories and I decided I wanted to try to clean up some of my cabbage patch kids. After I finished I just collapsed.”
“You must have worked fast everything was still piled up and the truck was pulling down our alley when I left this morning.”
“Yeah it woke me up and I went out to retrieve them. The garbage man beat me to the pile but he was nice enough to help me get the ones I wanted and I helped him clean up the mess.”
”Good I felt guilty leaving such a large pile. I thought about staying around to help him but I needed to get my errands done. Anyway sweetie I am glad you got the ones you wanted in time I was going to save a few more for you last night but decided I was just being silly and trying to hang on to the past.”
“Thanks mom,” she said a sense of relief coming over her.
As her mom left the room, Tammy and Sara realized they needed to pee again so they let it go in their goodnites. They lay down in each other’s arms in their wet diapers surrounded by the dolls and felt truly relaxed and happy. After enjoying the wet diapers for a bit they changed each other and went downstairs to enjoy the day.
Tammy woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. She looked over in the corner to see the familiar pile of dolls. Ah just like the old days except my diaper isn’t wet she thought. That thought was short lived when she realized her diaper was in fact wet.
She didn’t know what freaked her out more that she was wet or that she seemed to enjoy it. She convinced herself that it was an isolated incident – she probably woke up in the middle of the night and wet it without remembering it. Satisfied with her rationalization, she got up and showered.
After her shower, Sara dropped by and told her she needed to go to Wal-Mart for some supplies. Tammy was happy to tag along. They wondered around the store checking off the items on her list. Sara was almost finished when they drifted over to the diaper isle. “My Cabbage Patch dolls’ diapers were ruined I should get them some replacements” Tammy announced.
“Good idea” Sara agreed.
So many choices she thought to herself. She studied each package carefully. The Luvs with their Blues Clues designs did not interest her but she was torn between the Huggies with Pooh and Pampers with the Sesame Street designs. Unable to decide, she put one of each in her cart.
She was about to leave when Sara pointed out the goodnites. “These are adorable baby we have to get some.” They had obviously made some changes since her bed wetting days. They now made separate designs for boys and girls. She couldn’t resist and put one of the L-XL girl’s packages in her cart. Before leaving the diaper isle, she picked up some wipes, powder, Desitin, and scented diaper disposal sacks.
With their shopping complete they headed for the checkouts. On her way up she wet her goodnite. She felt so naughty deliberately wetting her pants in public but also enjoyed it far more than she thought possible.
Sara noticed her face and whispered “did baby have an accident?”
Tammy nodded sheepishly as they got in line. She felt a bit nervous as she unloaded her items on the belt. Relax she told herself people buy diapers all the time it is no big deal. Her cashier was pleasant and friendly as she scanned her items.
“Wow two in diapers you must have your hands full,” the cashier said as she scanned the diapers and goodnites.
“Yes two in diapers is quite a handful” Sara answered a little playfully.
The cashier nodded and completed the sale. She thanked them and told them to have a nice day.
When they got home, they ran upstairs eager to try on the new diapers. Sara tore off the wet one and put it in a sack. Hmm I am going to have to dispose of these wet ones somehow Tammy thought to herself as Sara applied some powder and Desetin. She put the new goodnite on Tammy and admired her. “Very cute baby much better than the boring old white ones. Now time for mommy to get on her diaper.” Sara said trading places with Tammy. “Very good baby you know just how to diaper mommy you will make a good mommy someday”
After they stowed the diaper supplies, they got to work diapering the dolls. Half the dolls got Huggies and the rest got Pampers. Not wanting to waste the remaining diapers Tammy split open one of the Pampers and stuffed it in her diaper. Sara did the same with a Huggies they were rewarded with a nice thick diaper when they flooded it a few minutes later.
Tammy and Sara spent the next five days in diapers and playing with dolls in between passionate love making. Tammy enjoyed the freedom of wetting herself whenever she pleased but she knew her break would soon come to an end. She was torn. She enjoyed the diapers and dolls but knew she didn’t want to explain this to her roommate and she defiantly couldn’t hide it and what about Sara. Sara went to a community college locally and they would be separated when she went back.
“It’s ok we can visit each other on weekends and summer isn’t that far off” Sara reassured her. “Get some rest I will see you off tomorrow.”
When Sara left for the night Tammy made the decision she needed to be able to act grown up at school and that meant cutting ties with these dolls. Sara has been a good sport but she will grow tired of the baby act soon enough Tammy thought. She went downstairs and returned with a trash bag. It had been a week and what a week it was; however, it was time to grow up. She opened a bag and picked up a doll. She stood there staring at it trying to force her hand to let it drop in the bag. Damn that garbage man why couldn’t he have just taken you last week. She mustered all the willpower she could and let the doll drop. She Put Ariel, Samantha, Sara, and Alyson in a box in her closet and the rest into the bags. She took the dolls along with the remaining diapers outside and put them in the bottom of the can. Her mission complete she returned to the house.
Tammy endured another sleepless night. It felt strange to be without a diaper for the first time on over a week but she refused to give into temptation. At some point she must have fallen asleep because the sound of the garbage truck pulling up to her house woke her up. I am not getting out of bed she told herself and closed her eyes trying not to picture her dolls being dumped into the truck. She heard the roar of the engine and knew that meant that the compactor was running. It’s over I made it. Relief and regret washed over her. Her eyes swelled up and she cried herself to sleep.
Tammy packed up her car preparing for the return trip to school. She glanced over at the can knowing it was empty but not able to bring herself to look. Finally after the third trip outside she opened up the lid and as expected it was empty. They are really gone she thought and resolved to move on.
Her mom went with her to Wal-Mart to pick up some school supplies and groceries. As she walked the isles she remembered her trip a week ago. It already seemed so distant.
They returned home and Tammy helped her mom unload the car. As they were walking in her mom said “Something wrong sweetie?”
“I threw my dolls away.”
”Why sweetie? You and Sara had so much fun this week. You are more relaxed than you have been in a long time.”
”I know that’s the problem. I am too old to play and sleep with dolls. I can’t do this at school so I just need to remove the temptation.”
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with you and Sara making out and wearing diapers all week would it?”
Tammy’s face turned ghost white and she was unable to speak.
“Don’t look so surprised I saw the goodnite hanging out from your pants last Friday afternoon and saw how you two looked laying on your bed. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to embarrass you. I knew you were worn out from school and needed some time to decompress. You wore them to bed every night until you were fourteen so it is natural you would get some security from them and I got the vibe that there might be something between you two for a long time now.”
“That is the problem I was afraid if I kept going like this I wouldn’t be able to stop I need to be a grown up at school and Sara was playing along but she would get tired of that baby crap after awhile I am sure.”
“I doubt that sweetie she seems to like you quite a bit every part.”
“Well it doesn’t matter now anyway the garbage truck crushed them hours ago they are probably in the dump by now and I need to finish packing,” she said as she went up to her room.
“Sweetie before you go upstairs could you take the laundry detergent downstairs for me.”
Tammy walked downstairs into the laundry room and her jaw dropped. Sitting there was Sara holding the two bags of dolls and the bag of goodnites.
“I figured you might try something foolish after I left last night so this morning when I saw the garbage truck at your house I watched the driver empty the cans. When I saw what looked like your dolls spill out I went up to him and convinced him to give them to me. You deserve a good spanking for treating your dolls like that baby” Sara said in mock sternness as she gave Tammy a little pat on the butt. “No diaper that just will not do.” Sara pulled down Tammy’s pants and took off her panties. “You have a long car trip and you might have an accident.” Sara pushed Tammy to the floor on top of the bags of her dolls to put a fresh diaper on her.
Tammy teared up, “Thank you I love you.”
”I know baby I love you too.” Sara said her hand moving down Tammy’s thigh. “Now time for me to say a proper goodbye.”
Tammy pulled away from the house and headed back to school. What a good spring break she thought. She took a drink of her 32 oz tea knowing she would need to pee soon because of it. She smiled as she looked down at the waistband poking out from her shorts. Good thing I came prepared she thought.
Rachel woke up late that Saturday feeling bloated and cramping. Great, her period was starting early this month. She was supposed to have a few more days according to her calendar. Still, it was better than NOT getting her period, she supposed. Granted, the way her sex life had been lately she would have been truly surprised to be pregnant.
Rachel was at that “special age” of potential child bearing. Not so young as to be jail bait or in a “babies having babies” situation, but so old where people were asking her “why haven’t you yet?”. For now, that was the way she liked it. She was young, independent, and (if she said so herself) pretty good looking. She was totally not ready to be anybody’s “mommy” yet, and purses were so much better than diaper bags.
She stumbled into her bathroom and turned the shower on. There was going to be blood today anyways so she might as well as well do a little landscaping and shave. Society had it all backwards: Men were expected and allowed to be the gross ones, all hairy and sweaty.
Guys? Gross? Really? All they had was a piece of meet dangling between their legs. She bled out of a hole in her body. Hell, her privates needed to come with an owners manual and a specialist doctor. Which was grosser, really?
Still, Rachel was a hypocrite and she admitted it to herself. She bought into and promoted the idea of a woman being smooth, clean, and pretty. At the same time, she was just as committed to being strong, free-willed and independent. She was a beautiful flower made of gleaming steal that could transform into a sword…or something like that. The contrast was difficult to pull off.
When she was done bathing and wo-manscaping, she toweled off and looked under the sink. Crap, no pads. She had just broken girl scout rule #1. She poked her head out of her room and called out “Hey Steph, do you have any pads?”
“You know I don’t,” her roommate called back. “I have some tampons if you want.”
“No thanks,” Rachel called back, “I’ll just run to the store.” Rachel hated tampons. She had tried them a few times, and never felt comfortable with them. She just didn’t feel comfortable having something inside her for that long. Combined with what she learned about toxic shock syndrome in middle school health class and a few disturbing “news” stories she read online, her distaste for tampons bordered on irrational phobia. She sighed as she closed the door to her bedroom and quickly got dressed. Rachel would have to go shopping
She quickly slipped on some red silk bikini panties- the red to hide any unfortunate events; the silk to give her motivation to get to the store in time- and matching bra. She buttoned up a matching red blouse, and pulled up some skinny jeans over her hips. Rachel added black leather belt, more as an accessory than a need and slipped her feet into her trusty black flats. All she needed was a headband to keep her raven locks out of her face and she was out the door.
When she walked out of her room, Stephanie was already sitting on the couch. Stephanie was Rachel’s best friend since college and roommate, though just by looking at them you might not think so. Stephanie was the poster girl for tom boys. She kept her blonde hair trimmed relatively short, never touching her shoulders, and looked as if she would be more comfortable at Wrestlemania than at the ballet. She was currently wearing a baggy T-shirt and some boy shorts.
“Going to buy diapers?” Stephanie asked as Rachel grabbed her keys and went to the door. Stephanie had taken to teasing Rachel about her phobia for tampons, and those tampon commercials that said: “Why wear a pad that feels like a diaper?” made it Stephanie’s nickname for pads. Rachel was a good sport though, so it became more of an in joke than an insult.
Rachel rolled her eyes and then turned to face her roommate. “Yup,” she said, “I’m a little early, how about you?”
“Nope,” Stephanie said disinterestedly. “Let the countdown continue.” she made a “whoop-de-doo” motion with her index finger.
“That’s odd, we’re normally so in sync.” Rachel said. “Hope you’re not pregnant.” she teased. This may have been more of a concern for Stephanie. She had been on a bit of a hot streak lately when it came to one night stands. Something about getting drunk with a girl in a bar on poker night made it a lot easier for her to beat you and then take you to bed.
“Stop the presses,” Stephanie droned, not breaking her monotone, “girls that live together not bleeding at the exact same time. Economists predict new recession” Rachel had to giggle at that. “Now get to the store before you start spotting all over those red panties you always wear when your period hits.” Yeah, Stephanie knew her alright.
Rachel opened the out into the hallway of her apartment complex. Before she could step out, she noticed a small cardboard box in front of her door. She looked down at it. The box was labeled “Bay-Bee Beauty and Hygiene Products”. It had a picture of a smiling cartoon bee on it. It looked as though a child had drawn it with crayons. A quick glance down the hallway showed that identical boxes were at every doorstep. Must be some type of promotion or something.
Rachel picked up the box and brought it inside. Stephanie looked up from the couch to see Rachel open the box. Inside was a letter. It read:
Dear Future Customer,
The Bay Bee Beauty and Hygiene Company is dedicated to providing the most high quality products available to women like yourself so that they can get out into the world and live their life while looking beautiful and feeling confident. We know you’ll love our products so much that we are giving away free samples to show that you we are the best in the business. Enclosed within this box you will find:
- One (1) stick of ruby red lipstick from Bay Bee Beauty and Hygiene® so all you have to do is pucker up and we’ll take care of the rest.
– One (1) stick of deodorant with baby powder from Bay Bee Beauty and Hygiene® so that you don’t break a sweat and smell your best.
– One (1) sample bottle of Bay Bee® skin moisturizer so that your skin can be soft and smooth.
– Five (5) Bay Bee® Sanitary Pads and Wipes so that you’ll be sure you’ll never leak and always feel clean and fresh.
Stephanie peered over Rachel’s shoulder. “What is it?” she asked Rachel?
“Looks like some kind of giveaway sample pack.” Rachel told her friend. Stephanie poked around the box and examined it’s contents.
“Huh…looks like you don’t have to go shopping,” Stephanie snickered, “you got doorstep diaper delivery. Very convenient.”
“Look, I get it,” Rachel began, starting to get a little annoyed- the in joke was only funny after a certain point, “but their not diapers.”
“Oh really?” her roommate smirked, holding up a pad with cute little bee’s stenciled in. “Then why do they have little decorations on them?”
“Oh….shut up!” was all that Rachel could muster as she snatched the pad from Stephanie. She took the box and hustled back to her bathroom for a few minutes of privacy. She unwrapped and inserted one of the pads into her panties, and redressed herself, examining herself in the mirror. These were really thin, she barely noticed she had them on. Rachel hoped they wouldn’t leak, but at least she didn‘t have to worry today; though she should still probably go shopping for more by the end of the day. She put the rest of the pads in her little leather purse along with the deodorant, lip stick, and moisturizer.
She walked back out into the main room of the apartment and went for her keys. “Still going somewhere?” Stephanie asked not having moved from the couch. “I thought you’d be good for the day with the free pads and all.”
“I still think I’m going to go out and have a day on the town,” Rachel said, glad that Stephanie had let up a little and called them pads instead of the d-word. “Wanna come? If we left now we could catch an early matinee at the movies.”
“Why not?” Stephanie shrugged and got up from the couch and moved towards the door.
“Uh, Steph.” Rachel interjected. “Maybe you might want to at least put pants on first before going outside the apartment. Stephanie looked down at herself. No bra, a baggy t-shirt and her underwear. She smirked, and shrugged.
“Fascist!” she joked as she turned around to quickly go get some pants on. She came back with some gray sweats on, and a pair of sneakers. “Okay, now I’m ready.” Rachel just smiled and rolled her eyes. Her friend was so immature sometimes.
They got in Rachel’s car and drove off for the movie theater. “So what are we going to see?” Stephanie asked as they sped down the street.
“Oh I was thinking something like a romantic comedy.” Rachel answered. Stephanie rolled her eyes.
“Please, girl, we can do better than that. Let’s watch the action flick that just came out!” a mischievous grin came across her face. “With a romantic comedy, you get to hear about some way too pretty chick wine about why she can’t get a boyfriend, and then…surprise! She does! You’re lucky if the guy takes off his shirt twice in the whole damn flick. We go to an action movie and we get to look at a bunch of ripped hunks shooting guns and kicking butt while their shirts get ripped and burned off their glistening bodies! Win-win!”
“Oh come on, Steph!” Rachel whined to her friend. “Can’t we do what I want to do this time?”
“I put on pants for you.” Stephanie rebutted. There was a silence. Stephanie wearing pants on a Saturday was a big step.
“Pfft…fine.” Rachel relented. “We’ll go to the stupid action movie.”
At the concession stand, Rachel purposefully bought the largest drink she could so she’d have an excuse to go the bathroom and miss even a little bit of the testosterone fest she was about to suffer through without looking rude. As soon as she and Stephanie took their seats, Rachel start sipping on her extra large coke with no ice.
For whatever reason, she liked the feeling of the straw in her mouth and felt rewarded every time she took a sip and soda passed through her lips. She started to try to make a game out of drinking the soda. See if she could drink fast enough to keep a steady stream of liquid in her mouth, but slow enough so that she wouldn’t have to break her sipping stride when she swallowed. That way it would feel like she had a constant and steady stream.
She was almost all the way done by the time the previews aimed at men who hadn’t evolved yet ended and the feature presentation began. It wasn’t anything special, if you had seen one action movie on TV, you’d have seen it all. From off camera, some British guy with a raspy voice narrated “My name is Bob…and this is how all of my films start.” And so it went…
Blah blah blah…pretentious tough guy dialogue…blah blah. Stare down, BOOM! Walk away from explosion without looking back. Rachel kept chewing on her straw, absent mindedly, just hoping for this to be over. Next time, definitely romantic comedy.
About half through the second reel nature finally called to release Rachel from her torment. She got up hurriedly, taking her purse with her as she scooted out of the theater and into the brightly lit highway. Her eyes soon adjusted and she ran into the nearest stall, locked it, pulled her pants and underwear down and sat.
She relaxed and exhaled as the tinkling sound of liquid hitting liquid greeted her ears. Now she’d just take her sweet time, maybe take another trip to the concession stand, and the movie should be hitting it’s 30 minute continuous fight scene sequence by then. She absent mindedly stuck a finger in her mouth and began sucking on it like it was a straw.
Rachel looked down at the maxi-pad between her legs. Whoah! Gross! She had done a number on it. Her flows had never been this heavy. There wasn’t a clean spot in there. She carefully removed the pad, and inspected her white cotton granny panties. Not a spot on them. At least these free samples were pulling their weight. With absorbency this good, Rachel wondered whether or not the full packs would be expensive.
She reached into her big leather purse and pulled out another pad and a wipe that came with it. She cleaned herself up- admiring the job she did shaving this morning in the processes…not a single hair- inserted a new pad into her underwear, and pulled her pants up before flushing.
Rachel walked over to the restroom mirror and examined herself to make sure she was straightened out. Something about her outfit caught her eye. She was still wearing her red headband and matching t-shirt. Her white Velcro shoes were on correctly and her socks were straight.
Something didn’t seem right about that. Hadn’t she worn a belt today? Didn’t she come to the mall in a red blouse and her trusty flats with no socks? Hadn’t her purse been smaller and less baggy? And hadn’t she begun wearing red satin panties today? Her head suddenly felt fuzzy, and she didn’t want to think about it anymore. Time to get back to the movie.
On her way back to where the action movie was playing, Rachel passed by what looked like a children’s movie. The poster for it had brightly colored cartoon’s and puppets. Cartoons AND puppets; now that was a deal! It looked a heck of a lot more fun than some stupid action movie.
She looked at the running times for it. There was a show going on right now! If she timed it just right, she could theater hop, catch the rest of this movie, and the action movie would be letting out at the same time. But she’d be leaving Stephanie by herself in the action movie…that Stephanie had wanted to see in the first place. Yeah…Stephanie didn’t even know she was gone. What harm could it do?
Rachel checked the hallway to make sure she wasn’t being watched by a theater employee, and snuck into the kids movie. It was great! She laughed, she cried, she caught onto important plot points and became emotionally invested in the characters’ development, and in the end the Pixie People got back their glitter dust so the people of Feltville could live happily ever after. She didn’t even notice that she was the only adult there not accompanying a small child. Neither did anyone else for that matter.
When the lights finally came up, and Rachel was done applauding enthusiastically for the blockbuster entertainment she had just witnessed, she shuffled out of the theater and into the hallway. She stared expectantly at the entrance to the action movie.
People started trickling out, but there was no Stephanie in sight.
“Heya Rachel!” Stephanie said from behind. “Did you like your movie?” Rachel jumped about a foot in the air. “Easy there girl, easy!” Stephanie patted Rachel on the back. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Okay, maybe I meant to scare you a little, but not that much.”
Rachel caught her breath. “I thought you were at the action movie.”
“No, why would I want to see that? Remember? You wanted to see the kids movie, and I wanted to see the romance one. They let out at about the same time, so we decided to watch our own movies and meet up after, remember?” Rachel didn’t remember that actually, but something about that made sense. So,” Rachel said, “where to now?”
Stephanie seemed to think it over for a second. “How about the mall?” she suggested. That seemed good enough to pass some more of the day away. She agreed and off to the car they went. When they were outside in the parking lot, Rachel couldn’t help but notice that something seemed different about Stephanie. Her clothes looked tighter on her, that is to say they looked like they were made for someone in her size instead of baggy. She hadn’t miraculously gained a hundred pounds, more like her clothes had hemmed themselves in to actually fit her. And…and….was her friend wearing a bra?! This didn’t make any sense, but she couldn’t say why.
Rachel pondered this as she got into the back seat of the car and buckled herself up. Stephanie got in the driver’s seat. She absent mindedly began to suck on her thumb as the car made its way to the mall. She allowed herself to close her eyes as she pondered what was wrong and dozed off.
All too soon, the car stopped and Rachel heard the driver’s side door opening and closing. She kept her eyes closed, feeling awfully lazy as she heard her door open up. “Awww how cute,” Stephanie teased, “today you’re wearing diapers AND sucking your thumb. New record.”
Rachel shot an evil look at Stephanie. “They’re not di-”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry…kinda.” Stephanie half heartedly apologized. “You’re my best bud, so it’s fun when I get the rare opportunity to mess with ya.”
“You mean rare as in monthly?” Rachel asked getting back into the swing of things.
“Oh come off it!” Stephanie, “I already said I was just ribbing you!”
“Leave the ribbing to your boy toys’ condoms.” Rachel lobbed a joke back at her.”
“Zing! Oh that hurts SO bad!” Stephanie mocked hurt as she clutched her yellow tank top . “Now are we gonna go window shopping, or have you forgotten how to unbuckle your seat belt?”
“Oh,” Rachel blushed realizing she’d been sitting in the back seat looking up at her friend this entire time. “Yeah, I forgot about that.” She got out of the car, and the two of them started walking to the mall. Rachel’s mouth felt empty without something in it, but she resisted the urge to suck on anything.
A new feeling hit Rachel. Fear. She was out in a big open space with no one to protect her. She was vulnerable; alone! “Um…Steph?” Rachel called out, “would it be okay if we…um…you know…hold hands?”
Stephanie frowned. “Weird.” she said as if she wasn’t quite wrapping her head around the necessity of the situation. Then she looked at Rachel and saw the panic in her eyes. Her features softened. “But, okay. It’ll make picking up guys harder…” she paused for a second …. “or easier,” she grinned. She offered out her hand to Rachel in the parking lot. Rachel gratefully accepted.
They walked into the mall together, hand-in-hand. It was Saturday, so as usual the Mall was crowded. Rachel knew she shouldn’t be, but all the people there, and the white noise of voices echoing off walls al around her just overwhelmed her. It was like she was in a cave of people and sound. She was almost mesmerized as she walked along.
Then something caught her eye. CANDY! There were big glass candy dispensers directly in front of them. “Oooh Steph! Steph!” Rachel bounced in place while she pointed with her free hand. “Can we get some candy?”
“Sure thing, Raych.” Stephanie grinned, as she dug around her jeans for some quarters. “Whaddya want?” Rachel knew instantly.
“Jawbreaker!” Rachel practically squealed. If she got a jawbreaker, she could suck on it and no one would think it was strange. It probably tasted better than her thumb anyways. She was so clever. Stephanie led Rachel by the hand and inserted the quarters. She turned the silver knob, and out came a jawbreaker. Rachel greedily snatched it up and popped it into her mouth.
He eyes rolled back into her head. THIS was heaven. She had never had anything this good, this satisfying before. This was better than sex, it was so good. She had never had crack before, but this must be what it was like. Awesome. Just awesome.
Stephanie wordlessly led Rachel around the mall, through crowds of people and in out of stores. They were mostly boring clothes stores, but Stephanie let them walk around a neat toy store too. Rachel found that she loved looking at the dolls. Finally they came to the food court. “Let’s get a little late lunch,” Stephanie said. There was a McDonald’s in the food court, so as usual, Stephanie ordered a salad shaker and water, while Rachel got the Happy meal.
A cute guy came and sat down across from them at the food court. “Hey,” he introduced himself as if that’s all that needed to be said. Oddly, (or sadly) enough, that was all he needed to say.
“Hey,” Stephanie responded, getting lost in the man’s eyes. Rachel just rolled hers.
“Sorry to interrupt you and your little friend here,” he indicated Rachel, “but I was hoping I could give you this,” he slid a folded piece of paper across the table, “and you could give me a call when you were done babysitting for the day.” The guy then got up and walked away, winking at Stephanie.
Little friend? Babysitting?! Was that some kind of joke? “Asshole!” Rachel called out after the jerk.
“Rachel!”, Stephanie gasped, “the man was just being nice to me. You don’t have to call him names like that!” Rachel couldn’t believe it. Her own best friend was against her in this. She snatched her big canvas purse and stood up.
“I gotta go to the bathroom anyway,” she huffed, “you go get your game on with that jerk if you want to.” She started walking to the ladies room (which is never far from the food court in any given mall). In her anger, she completely forgot about her need to hold hands.
She walked into the restroom. Little friend? Babysitting? She might have been eating a happy meal, but that didn’t mean she was a baby. She examined herself in the mirror. Her hair was still tied up in a bow, her t-shirt still had it’s frilly sleeves that she liked. She wasn’t a baby. She was cute as a button. She took her purse into the nearest stall and closed the door.
Rachel didn’t really need to use the toilet right now, but she might as well check her pad. She undid the snap button on her elastic waistband and slid her jeans down to her pink Velcro shoes and frilly socks. Next came down her undies.
Upon inspection, there wasn’t much of a mess at all; just a little spotting. Still, she didn’t want to sit in her own menstrual excrement if she knew about it. She took the pad out of her panties and rolled it up so she could throw it away. Oddly enough, the pad seemed to have lost it’s decorations. She took out another pad, inserted it and pulled her panties up before inspecting the front.
The front of her white panties now had decorations of smiling cartoon bees on them! Holy crap! Product defect! Product defect! The decorations had bled through to her white underwear! That was definitely a strike against them she thought as she pulled her pants back up and buttoned the snap back up.
Rachel walked out of the ladies room and looked around the busy food court. Where was Stephanie? She couldn’t find Stephanie! It was like playing the world’s hardest game of “Where’s Waldo” because all the other people in the picture were constantly moving too. Rachel stuck her thumb in her mouth as she began to feel scared. Maybe something horrible happened to Stephanie, or maybe she didn’t want to be friends anymore. The thought was almost too much to bear.
A soft hand took Rachel’s and held it. Rachel looked to see who it was. “Ready to go, kiddo?” Stephanie asked. Rachel nodded and they walked out of the mall and to the car. Her legs on a kind of autopilot, Rachel was led out to the car and stopped by the backseat door. Some new piece of furniture.
It kind of looked like a roller-coaster seat without the big heavy harness to keep you falling out. When Stephanie opened the door for Rachel to get a close look at it, she saw that it had an upholstered and padded interior, and that there were seatbelt like straps to keep someone about her size in place. It was a giant baby seat.
Rachel felt her legs sweep out from underneath her, as Stephanie picked her up and placed her in the car seat in one swift motion. “Whoah, Steph, what the fuck?!” Rachel protested.
“What?” Stephanie asked. “I’m just getting you in your car seat like always.” Stephanie started pulling the straps across Rachel’s body, strapping her in. “You’re my best friend, I just want to make sure you’re safe.” Rachel found she could do nothing as her friend finished strapping her into the device. This was wrong. This was so totally wrong. “We have just one more stop, and then we can go back home.” Stephanie told Rachel.
Rachel sat in the giant car seat, afraid of what was happening. Worse yet, she was afraid because she couldn’t quite put her finger on what was happening. It’s just that people were treating her differently, and she was acting differently but she didn’t know how or what was different.
The car came to a stop outside a local grocery store. “Here we are,” Stephanie announced as she turned the car off. Rachel waited as Stephanie came around the back and opened the door. Stephanie unbuckled Rachel from her car seat and moved to pick her up.
“I can do it myself,” Rachel said as she slapped Stephanie’s hands away. Rachel got up out of the seat, and got out of the car all by herself. Stephanie just shook her head as Rachel had to duck and twist to get out of the car without bumping her head.
“Someone’s awfully independent, all of a sudden.” Stephanie proclaimed. She grabbed Rachel’s hand. Rachel tried to resist, but Stephanie was really strong with a vice grip. Furthermore, her legs wouldn’t cooperate, they just kept walking towards the store as Stephanie led the way. As the two approached the door, Rachel was squirming a little as they walked, squeezing her legs together while trying to keep going further.
“Everything okay, Rachel?” Stephanie asked as the doors to the grocery store whooshed open.
“Yeah…” Rachel lied, still doing the potty dance. She looked at the ladies room. “But…I gotta go…checkmymakeup!” she managed to break free and sprint for the women’s room. She e felt a trickle leave her bladder and soak into the padding.
“Ooookay!” Stephanie called out after her. I’m going to start shopping and get some of the stuff I need. Come find me as soon as you’re out of the potty, okay?” Rachel didn’t bother to answer as she ran into the bathroom for the open stall. Rachel sat on the toilet and immediately relaxed her bladder. To her horror, her ears were greeted with a hissing sound instead of the familiar tinkle. Her crotch became warm and wet. She had forgotten to pull her pants down.
Rachel stood up and frantically pulled her pants down. She was so fast and frantic in fact, that she accidentally pulled them off over her shoes and off of her. Her jeans went sliding out from under the stall door. Great, just another thing going wrong.
She inspected the rest of herself. There was no urine running down her legs, no leaks. Apparently the pad worked just as well on pee as it did on blood. Rachel made a note to herself to never ever let Stephanie know this information.
Gingerly, Rachel pulled her panties down to inspect the damage. The padding was soaked, through and through and the smell of ammonia wafted up to her nostrils. Gross. She carefully searched for the adhesive strips that kept the pad in place, so she could take it off, but couldn’t find them. Furthermore, the padding seemed to have expanded so much, that it now occupied the majority of her panties instead of just the main strategic area.
She searched through her pink satchel bag for another pad. Maybe she could figure out how to get it off. Instead of a pad, her hand drew out an entirely new pair of panties. They were white, and had smiling cartoon bees stenciled into them. Rachel looked inside of them and noticed that there was thin padding on the inside.
Feeling like she didn’t have much choice, and finding it hard to remember how that got there, Rachel resigned herself to changing her underwear as well as her pad. She kicked off the sodden pair of panties that she had put on this morning, wiped herself gingerly, and pulled the new pair of thinly padded panties up her waist, all while not taking off her shoes. Now came the hard part.
She picked up her wet panties and balled them up. She hadn’t heard anyone come in the restroom, so presumably, she was alone. The problem was Rachel couldn’t be sure how long that would last, and it wouldn’t do to be caught in this situation, her jeans lying somewhere on the floor being a dead giveaway of her current predicament.
Rachel counted to three, then opened the stall door. Immediately she went to the nearest trashcan and tossed her panties in. Then she whirled around and looked for her pants. They were no where to be found. Where the hell could they have gone? Then caught sight of herself in the mirror.
Her hair was done up in pigtails. Her red shirt with frilly sleeves had somehow elongated into a dress that stopped just above her knees with frilly sleeves. Right before her eyes, it changed color, too- from hot red to baby blue. What in the world was going on?
Then it became obvious. Her clothes were transforming, and so was her mind. But not her body. She was turning into a giant baby. She was turning into some kind of freak. Either that or she was going insane! And it all had something to do with that package that had shown up on her doorstep. She had to find Stephanie. She’d know what to do; Stephanie always knew what to do.
Rachel gathered up her pink satchel and sprinted out of the restroom door and into the grocery store. “Stephanie!” She called. “Help! Stephanie!” Then another impulse forced it’s way into her brain. “Mommy!” she screamed. “Moooommmmmy!”
A sign caught her eye all of a sudden. It read : “Aisle 9, Feminine Hygiene, Baby Products.” Feminine Hygiene! If she could get another brand of maxi pad, or even a tampon, maybe it would stop all the craziness that was going on. She rushed to aisle nine and sprinted, then she stopped dead in her tracks.
Right in front of her on the Baby Products Shelf were packages upon packages of diapers. The pictures on each package were of different young women wearing nothing but the diapers doing infantile things. One was crawling, one was on her back, another appeared to be walking unsteadily. All had a look of pure bliss on their face. The packages all read “Bay-Bee® Diapers”
Rachel’s panties felt much thicker all of a sudden. She felt pressure build up in her bowels. She heard a distinct crinkling sound as she bowed her legs out and squatted. She knew what she was about to do, but she couldn’t help herself. She pushed and felt the warm poop ooze out between her cheeks. She pushed again and felt more come out and push against the seat her panties. Soon she was empty, and was standing there in a dress, pigtails, frilly socks, pink Velcro shoes, and poopy panties.
“There you are!” Stephanie called out pushing a shopping cart. Her wardrobe had changed to a concealing yellow dress with a floral pattern. “Mommy was so worried about you sweetie! Don’t ever run away from her again, okay?” Rachel was speechless. Was this really happening? “Looks like you were trying to be mommy’s helper by carrying around your diaper bag finding your favorite diapers.” Sarah cooed. Then she sniffed the air. “And I think I can guess why. Come on, you little stinker.”
Stephanie took Rachel’s hand, and picked up a package of diapers, depositing them in the shopping cart. With one hand she pushed the cart towards the check out line, and with the other she dragged Rachel along behind her. Rachel could only be led. Her feet had stopped listening to her.
“Steph, snap out of this!” Rachel pleaded. “Please, something weird is going on here and neither of us are acting like we normally do.” Stephanie just ignored her. “Stephanie! Please! Listen to me. I’m your best friend, not your baby!”
Stephanie made them approach the check out line. She reached into her purse which had suddenly materialized with this latest wardrobe change and slapped a fifty dollar bill and a twenty on the counter. “This should cover everything,” she said. “Would you mind ringing me up while I go change my daughter‘s diaper?”
“No problem.” the cashier said. A new round of begging and screaming began as Rachel was picked up and carried again towards the women’s restroom. But it was to no avail. It was as if Stephanie couldn’t understand her anymore. Rachel was carried into the restroom, where she noticed a much larger than average changing table mounted on the wall. It was labeled “Bay-Bee Changing Station”.
Stephanie pulled the tray down and hefted Rachel onto it. Rachel was pushed down on her back before she could struggle, and a strap was pulled across her body. “Just a minute, baby girl,” Stephanie cooed to her roommate. “Let’s get this over with and you’ll feel so much better.”
She reached into the diaper bag that had once been Rachel’s purse and pulled out a pacifier. It’s nipple was ruby red. Stephanie placed the pacifier on Rachel’s lips, and Rachel instantly began to suck on it. All Rachel could do now was grumble around the pacifier, not being able to make any coherent sounds. Her lips were practically stuck together.
Rachel’s dress was lifted up and her poopy panties-now a full blown diaper- was in plain view. Stephanie undid the tapes of the diaper and unfolded it, air her mess out. Rachel’s legs were lifted into the air, and she found herself staring at her pink shoes and frilly socks while she sucked on her paci. She blushed a deep crimson as Stephanie took out a tub of baby-wipes from the diaper bag and started wiping her bottom.
Stephanie balled up the used diaper and threw it away. She reached into the diaper bag and pulled out a fresh diaper. “Whoops, last one,” Stephanie commented. “Good thing we just bought some more, huh sweetie?” She unfolded it and slid it under Rachel’s butt. Stephanie took out some baby oil, and squirted some into her hand before rubbing it all over Rachel. “To keep your cute little tushie soft and smooth,” she said.
Next, she took out some baby powder and sprinkled it all over Rachel’s backside and crotch. “To make you smell your best.” she explained. With that, she pulled the diaper up tight between Rachel’s legs and taped the sides shut. “All better!” She proclaimed. She then unbuckled and picked up the helpless Rachel, before sliding the changing tray back into place. She gave Rachel a peck on the cheek and exited the restroom. All Rachel could do was suck on the pacifier.
Upon exiting the restroom, Rachel noticed that the shopping cart was right by the door, all the groceries bagged up, and some change was left in the baby seat. Rachel then saw a middle aged woman pushing a large pink stroller into the grocery store. Inside the stroller was a young girl who looked to be about 11 or 12- 13 tops. She was bawling her eyes out and was wearing nothing but a pink t-shirt and a diaper. It didn’t take Rachel any time at all to realize what had happened.
“Mommy!” the young girl wailed from her stroller. “You promised these weren’t diapers! You promised!”
“Looks like someone is a little fussy.” Stephanie commented to the older woman. The older woman sighed in exasperation..
“I can’t figure out what’s gotten into her, today,” the woman said. “She normally such a sweet baby.”
“Maybe she’s wet or messy,” Stephanie suggested. “My Ray-Ray here is always fussy when she needs to be changed. Isn’t that right, honey?”
“Good idea,” the woman said as she looked into a diaper bag. “Hmm…only one left. Well good thing we’re at the grocery store.” She pushed the stroller into the bathroom, and Rachel could make out the girls screams as the she heard the tapes come ripped off.
Stephanie pushed the cart and carried Rachel out into the parking lot. Strange things were happening out there too. More cars pulled in, and women dressed as big babies were being taken out of over grown car seats. Some were crying, some looked confused, a few didn’t even seem to notice anything was wrong.
She saw a van with the hatchback open. A woman was laying in the back while what must have been her husband was unbuttoning the crotch snaps of her onesie. A crying teenage girl was being dragged into the store by her balding father while her five-year-old sister was proclaiming that she was the big sister now. She saw a middle aged woman, breastfeeding a young lady in her mid twenties.
All of this was happening, and more. There didn’t seem to be anyway to stop it. Rachel looked at all of this and she did the one thing she could do. She cried.
Übersetzung aus dem Englischen: The Slide
Susie beobachtete nervös ihre 5 Jahre alte Tochter, die oben auf dem Podest der Rutsche stand. Marie war schon lange kein Kleinkind mehr, aber Susie dachte trotzdem, dass die große Rutsche etwas zu groß für sie ist. Letztes Jahr stand es noch außer frage, das sie Marie da runter rutschen lässt, selbst wenn Marie immer wieder gefragt hatte. Die Rutsche sah schon etwas eigenartig aus. Aus Metall mit einer roten Plastik Röhre auf dem halben Weg nach unten. Ein merkwürdiger Mix aus zwei Rutschen-Designs in einer. Marie setzte sich vorsichtig hin und stieß sich ab. Susie beobachte wie ihre Tochter aus der Röhre schoss und war überrascht, wie viel Geschwindigkeit sie doch aufgenommen hat. Sie fing das Mädchen auf dem letzten Stück ab, hob sie hoch und schwang sie herum. Marie lachte laut los – dieses Lachen, wie es nur kleine Kinder können und das einem das Herz erwärmt.
“Jetzt musst DU aber rutschen Mami!” Sagte Marie aufgeregt und zeigte die Rutsche hoch.
“Oh, ich weiß nicht Schatz, wir müssen eigentlich los jetzt … es ist bald Zeit fürs Abendessen.” Sagte Susie in einem Erwachsenen Ton. Doch Marie zog an ihrem Arm.
“Komm schon Mami, wie ein Kind … bitte?” Susie seufzte. Naja was soll’s, wird schon nichts passieren? Sie sah sich nach den anderen Familien im Park um. Die werden sich bestimmt Kapput lachen, aber wen interessiert das schon? Das Leben ist viel zu kurz, dachte sie. Sie stieg die Stufen der Rutsche hinauf und setzte sich oben hin. Sie schaut die Rutsche herunter. Die Distanz zum Ende war nicht sehr groß. Insgeheim Wünschte sie sich, das sie Jung genug wäre, um die Abfahrt voll genießen zu können. Sie stieß sich los und schrie laut “Yuhuuu!” als sie herunter rauschte.
Anstatt am Ende der Rutsche davon zu fliegen, wurde sie langsamer und stoppte auf dem letzten Stück mit einem erschrockenen Gesichtsausdruck. Es war ein unglaublicher Gedanke, eine schreckliche Gewissheit, die sie überkam, als sie stoppte. Ihr Kopf kämpfte noch mit der Vorstellung – das war nicht Möglich.
Als sie die Rutsche herunter kam, fühlte Sie ihr ganzes Erwachsen sein von sich streifen.
Sie sah in Panik an ihrem Körper herab. Das war immer noch ihr selbes 30 jähriges ich, das sie da sah. Sie muss den Verstand verloren haben. Sie versuchte die Bilder von ihr als kleines Mädchen aus dem Kopf zu bekommen. Das muss so was wie eine irrationale Panikattacke sein, sagte sie sich selbst, und wünschte es wäre so. Ihre Hände griffen die Seiten der Rutsche. Es war als wäre ihr Körper künstlich vergrößert für ihr Alter. Es fühlte sich nicht “Richtig” an, ein Erwachsener zu sein. Sie wusste tief in sich drin, das ihr Körper schrumpfen musste, um sich ihrer neuen mentalen Realität anzupassen. Sie versuchte zu wiederstehen, schloss ihre Augen und schüttelte den Kopf. Die Bilder waren zu stark. Als sie mit geschlossenen Augen nach der Rutsche griff, spürte sie, wie sich die Position ihres Körpers verschob. In Panik öffnete sie ihre Augen. Sie hatte Angst es zu sehen, doch sie musste es wissen.
Sie WAR jünger, das war an der Größe ihrer Brüste offensichtlich zu erkennen. An ihrem T-Shirt konnte man ganz genau sehen, wie winzig ihre Brüste geworden waren. Wie die einer Jugendlichen. Sie wusste sie war 16, auch wenn die Idee lächerlich war. Sie wusste auch, das sie nicht lange 16 sein würde, als sie eine weitere “Anpassung” kommen spürte. Sie weinte und drückte ihre Beine zusammen. Warum passiert ihr das? Unbewusst drückte sie ihren Hintern auf die Rutsche und schob sich vorwärts. Sie spannte jeden Muskel in ihrem Körper an und krümmte ihren Rücken. Als die Spannung unerträglich wurde, lies sie los und ihr Körper entspannte sich in der Regression. Die Pubertät in umgekehrter Richtung. Sie schüttelte sich und schrumpfte, sie streifte die 15 und verlor noch mehr von ihrer Brust als es mit 14 pausierte. Sie wusste ihre Schambehaarung hatte ihre “drahtige” Qualität verloren und wahr jetzt fein und kindlich. Ihre Organe haben sich neu angeordnet um in ihren kleineren Körper zu passen. Ihr Magen fühlte sich kribbelig und warm an.
Aber der Prozess ging noch weiter. Sie schrie, als sie eine neue Welle kommen spürte.
“Oh neiiin!” Keuchte sie außer Atem. Sie stand an der Brücke zur Kindheit: weiter Schrumpfen würde sie auf die falschen Seite der Pubertät führen. Sie atmete gedämpft und wippte vor und zurück, die Hände immer noch fest an der Rutsch, so als würde ihr das Kraft geben. Sie fühlte sich geknebelt, als die Verjüngung wieder begann. Dieses Mal war es noch dramatischer, da ihr Körper wirklich seine Form und Größe verlor. Es waren kleine, aber intensive Stöße von Elektrizität, jeder davon beraubte sie um ein paar Monate. Sie erschütterte sich mit jeder Veränderung. Sie fühlte sich verlegen, wie jung sie doch geworden ist. Sie errötete und machte die Veränderung zu einer 13 Jährigen … und dann einer 12 Jährigen. Sie fühlte sich kahl und nackt zwischen ihren Beinen. Ihre weibliche Anatomie wurde wieder die eines Mädchens. Ihre Brüste waren verschwunden und jegliche Kurven mit ihnen. Es war ein merkwürdiges Gefühlt, so als wäre ihre Weiblichkeit zusammen gebündelt wurden in eine noch kommende Entwicklung.
Merkwürdiger weise passten ihre Sachen noch. Jedoch hatte ihr weißes T-Shirt jetzt eine große gelbe Blume vorne drauf. Sie schaute sich kurz um. Nahe bei der Rutsche saß ein Pärchen auf der Bank, sie schauten zu ihr herüber und lächelten, so als kannten sie sie genau. Sie wusste, das würden ihre Eltern sein, wenn das alles vorbei war. Ihr früheres Leben als Mutter schien eine Ewigkeit weg zu sein. Sie schüttelte den Kopf um es zurück zu bringen, doch ohne Erfolg. Die Vision klein zu sein war jetzt zu stark für sie. Sie verlor die Kraft dagegen Anzugkämpfen. Sie suchte in sich nach wenigstens etwas Reife, doch fand nur, dass sie IMMERNOCH zu alt war. Nein, nein, nein, wimmerte sie vor sich hin, als sie wieder jünger wurde. Die eine Hälfte von ihr empfand die Veränderungen als “natürlich” und “notwendig”, während die andere Hälfte jammerte und klagte. Sie ist kein kleines Mädchen, kein kleines … sie kann nicht.
Sie zitterte als sie in ihr elftes Jahr rutschte. Sie biss sich auf die untere Lippe. Ihre Sachen veränderten sich mit ihr. Ihre Jeans wechselten die Farbe von Blau zu Gelb und die Blume auf ihrem T-Shirt veränderte sich in irgendeine undefinierbare Form. Ihre Beine wurden kürzer, als sie eine 10 Jährige wurde. Sie streckte ihre Zehen, um den Sand unter der Rutsche zu erreichen. Das verschaffte ihr ein falsches Gefühl der Sicherheit, den Boden mit den Zehenspitzen zu erreichen.
Doch sie schrumpfte weiter, passierte die 10 und wurde 9. Jetzt fühlte sie sich wirklich verlegen. All ihre Kraft, ihr Selbstwertgefühl, ihr Können wurden aus ihrem Körper gesogen. Sie wusste das da ein kleiner feuchter Fleck zwischen ihren Beinen war. Sie war neun und hatte von Zeit zu Zeit immer noch kleine “Missgeschicke”. Sie war kurz etwas benommen, fing sich aber wieder und beurteilte ihre Situation. Sie braucht eine Lösung … JETZT!
Es dämmerte ihr, das sie sich gewünscht hatte wieder jung zu sein, bevor sie die Rutsche runter ist. Die Rutsche hat den Wunsch war gemacht! Sie muss wieder nach oben und sich wünschen wieder ein Erwachsener zu sein. Instinktiv drehte sie sich um und versuchte die Rutsche hoch zu klettern, so wie es Kinder öfters machen. Die Rutsche kam ihr jetzt viel Größer vor. Sie stoppte vor der Röhre. Wie kommt sie dort durch nur nach oben? An den Seiten kann sie sich da drin nicht festhalten. Sie versuchte es trotzdem und kam auch bis zur Hälfte, als ihre schwachen kleinen Arme nicht mehr konnten. Außerdem schrank sie weiter. Ihre Arme und Beine wurden fein und dünn als sie 8 Jahre alt wurde. Sie versuche sich in der Position in der Röhre zu halten. Sie drückte Arme und Beine gegen die Wände. Aber sie konnte sich nicht lange halten und rutschte wieder ein Stück zurück. Dabei pullerte sie sich etwas ein, als sie sieben wurde. Sie kletterte Rückwärts. Sie muss die Leiter hoch. Sie war kurz etwas irritiert als sie am Ende der Rutsche ankam. Sie setzte sich hin und fiel rückwärts auf ihren nassen Hintern in den Sand. Tränen kullerten in ihre sechs Jahre alten Augen, als sie an sich herab sah. Ihr Schritt war total durchnässt und sie erkannte die Figur auf ihrem T-Shirt als Mickey Maus. Ihre Jeans waren jetzt gelbe Hosen.
Sie kam wieder zu Sinnen und richtete sich auf, um zu der Leiter zu gehen. Ihre Koordination wurde immer schlechter. Sie fühlte sich unbeholfen und Chaotisch in ihren Bewegungen. Sie rannte weinend zu der Leiter, geängstigt von der Aussicht noch jünger zu werden.
Sie hatte es fast geschafft. Doch als sie nach der ersten Stange griff, merkte sie, wie die finale Sequenz der Verjüngung einsetzte. Sie hockte sich hin und wurde 5. Sie heulte laut los und machte sich nochmal nass. Sie konnte es nicht mehr stoppen … es war zu spät. Sie hockte sich tiefer hin. Fast auf dem Boden sitzend, wurde sie ein 4 jähriges Kleinkind. Mit einem lauten Furzgeräusch, kam alles aus ihrem Hintern, hinein in ihre Pull-Up. Es war zu ende.
“Wo willst du denn hin Kleine?” Fragte ihr Papa, als er sie hoch hob. “Du bist viel zu jung für DIESE Rutsche. Komm wir … oh oh … “ sagt er, als er es roch. Sie wusste, das ihr Papa sie zu Hause wieder in Windeln stecken würde. Sie war so gedemütigt. Susie wünschte sich, sie wäre so groß wie ihre ältere Schwester Marie, dann könnte sie die Rutsche runter rutschen. Sie weinte auf dem Weg nach Hause in ihrem Kindersitz. Nach der halben Strecke vergaß sie aber warum und steckte sich unbewusst ihren Daumen in den Mund und begann zu Nuckeln.
This was going to be it. This time I was in a good spot to beat the race. I had participated in several tournaments and never won anything but this time I had great chance of reaching first place. I focused on the road and made a perfect turn passing one of my opponents. There was only one left for first place now, my biggest rival who had beaten me so many times before, but I was not letting her do it this time. It was one turn left and that was it. It had to be perfect.
As I approached the turn my hearth beat fast. I was right behind her tail and I could picture her feeling all confident about herself taking home her fifth tournament in a row, but that was not going to happen this time and longed to see her face after being beaten by a novice like me. The last turn approached and I took a deep breath. My chance was there waiting for me. When she was about to turn I used the boost I had saved. I flew ahead of her and excitement filled me. I was seconds away from the finish line and felt like nothing could stop me from taking home the tournament but then everything went black.
“Hey,” I said, starring at the blank TV screen. “I was about to win, why did you do that for?” I have to admit, I had to hold back tears even if I was old enough not to cry over a stupid video game. Nine year old girls could cry sometimes yes, but only little girls cried over silly things like this.
“I just don’t feel like playing anymore,” my friend Ally said with a shrug and put her controller away. She would never let me win.
“Fine, but I won this time.” I threw my controller back, crossed my arms and muttered. Not that winning meant that much to me as long as I got to play but was one time asking for too much?
“Nu hu. You never finished so it doesn’t count.” she stuck her tongue out. I wasn’t mad but I reached for a pillow and threw it at her. She giggled and threw it back harder and just as in my many imaginations of sleepovers, the mandatory pillow fight begun.
We threw, hit and played with the pillows while giggling and jumping around on her bed. I didn’t fear falling down because her bed was big like everything else in her house, like the TV, the hot tub, the pool and all the other luxuries. It was nothing like the tiny house I lived in. I remember asking her the first time I was there if one of her parents was a celebrity or something. I must have embarrassed myself because she said ‘no, why?’ like if everyone lived in a house like that. I was afraid that if she’d ever go to my house she would ask if my parents were rats.
My house wasn’t really small and dirty like a rat nest; I tend to exaggerate things or sometimes I like to pretend that I’m a little mouse. Anyway, I guess my house was pretty average; big enough for me, mommy and daddy. I liked it, but I really wished we had room for another family member. I begged but mommy said she didn’t want any more children.
I cured my loneliness by pretending I had my own twin sister. I called her Bella. At first I just played with her, but after that I figured since we were twins and looked the same I could also be her too. We were different in how we were though so I picked whoever fit my mood the best that day. My parent’s just shook their heads and refused to call me Bella when I pretended to be her.
The fun stopped at school when I was six and people started to wonder why I sometimes laughed for no apparent reason or wanted to be called by different names. It was also confusing for the teachers when I turned in two homeworks every week, one by me and one by Bella. They eventually made me go talk with the school counselor regularly and after a couple of weeks, Bella were expelled and hopefully out of my head too.
Things turned better last year when I started third-grade and met Ally. I let Bella out of the world then and now I was in fact at a real sleepover throwing pillows and not at home pretending I was.
The pillow fight went on. We didn’t bother to pick up the ones that had landed too far away on the floor we were eventually out of them. When that happened we began wrestling instead. I refused to lose my balance as she tried to get me down on the bed. I escaped from her grip and jumped around while she tried to catch me again. She chased me until I surrendered and let myself fall down on the bed because I was afraid that if I jumped more the pizza I had earlier would make its way up my throat.
“I think I won again,” Ally said and hit me with a pillow she had picked up from next to the bed.
“Whatever,” I said. She threw the pillow away and let herself fall too and we lay down next to each other catching our breaths. “You only cheat.”
Ally stuck her tongue out and then she said “I think its pajamas time.”
“Okay, I think I left mine downstairs.” I didn’t mind to put it on early. This was my first sleepover and I had pictured that you ran around in your pajamas throwing pillows at each other all the time. I was about to get up when I remember how my pajamas looked. The pastel pink color together with the bunnies, carrots and flower prints could as well have been designed to be worn by a toddler, and I had owned it since I was eight so it was a little small too. Ally surely had something newer and less babyish to wear and even if she didn’t say anything I would probably embarrass myself.
“Get up then,” she said and gave me a tickle on my side. I wasn’t really feeling doing so when I thought about what I had to put on so I didn’t move. She moved closer and sat down on top of my tummy. I giggled and squirmed while at same time messing up the cover on the bed as she tickled me everywhere.
“Ok, ok, stop!” I pushed her off and sat up because I was sure that if she tortured me more, the soda I had earlier would make the bottom of my pants wet and then I would probably die of embarrassment.
“Go down and get it then.” She sat up too.
When I went to the door I couldn’t help but to take up a pillows and throw it at her. I spun around and aimed at her face and threw it the hardest I could.
“Ha, I won!” I put my hand in the air to declared victory. Then I saw how she bent over laughing. I had missed. I clenched my hand into a fist and put it down while letting out a frustrated sigh. I had a smile on my face as I went out though. It was still the best night ever and it was going to be the best week ever. Ally was my first real friend and I dreamed that maybe one day we could call ourselves best friends.
On my way downstairs I ran into her sister Alexis. She was ten years older than us and I was usually shy around teenagers but not to her. When she looked down at me with her gentle smile, being an only child, I wished I had a sister like that, a real one and not just in my dreams, however, I knew it was impossible.
“How’s it going Amber?” She asked, while fixing my long chestnut brown hair that had been messed up from the pillow fight.
“Good. We’re getting our PJs on,” I said.
“That’s great! Listen, I’m here for you. If you ever need anything or if Ally is mean or does something bad just tell me. I’ll make her stop,” Alexis said. Ally’s parents weren’t at home so she was in charge of us.
“It’s okay,” I said.
I continued to go down to get my bag. When I found it in the hall I decided I could just as well change down there and I began putting it on. I actually liked my pajamas and hoped I didn’t get teased.
The stuffed bunny I still slept with every night wasn’t going to help me in case I got teased either. I picked her up from my bag and hugged her hard because this night I feared she would have to sleep alone. I whispered good-night in her ear, but when I looked her in the eyes, I couldn’t tell her I had to leave her there so I had to bring her up with me. If Ally teased me I could tell Alexis.
I pulled out my long hair that had gotten behind my tight pajamas top before I went upstairs again. I walked straight into Alexis who came out from Ally’s room. She smiled and let me in.
I saw Ally who had also changed into her pajamas lying on her bed. Her pajamas were at least as childish as mine with baby blue with teddies and stars on, it wasn’t as tight though.
“Hey bunny girl,” she said. “I like her,” she looked at the bunny in my arms.
“Thanks.” I stroke the bunny over her ears and kissed her head feeling sorry for even thinking about leaving her in my bag. Then I felt a scent of something that hadn’t been in the room before. It smelled fresh, like the candles mommy used before we had guests. I knew it came from something but I couldn’t tell exactly what it was.
“I have a teddy!” She picked something up. It was a cute pink teddy with a bow on its head. She hugged it tight.
“We aren’t going to bed now right?” I asked and climbed up in her bed letting my bunny say hello to her teddy.
“Not yet. Meanie told us that we could only stay up until ten.” She backed with her teddy which she told me was shy.
“You’re sister isn’t a meanie,” I said, hoping she knew how lucky she was.
“Uh hu she is. You don’t know because you’re not living with her,” Ally said. Ally took her sister too much for granted. Being jealous wasn’t really going to help me feel better, but I couldn’t help it as I sat there wishing I could call someone a meanie for giving me a ten-o-clock bed time or rather I wished I had someone I could call my sister.
“So what are we doing now?” I crawled over and sat down next to her in bed.
“What about a movie?” Ally suggested.
“Sure,” I said.
“What do you wanna watch?” She asked and pointed at a shelf that was crammed with DVDs and video games. “Go and pick one.”
I didn’t have any movies at home and there were so many in there I wanted to watch so I couldn’t pick one right away.
“Hurry,” Ally said.
“What about this one?” I held up Cinderella. I had actually seen it before with my cousin but I wanted to watch it again.
“No,” Ally said.
“Ok, this one?” I held up the little mermaid.
“Those are baby movies silly. I have them there because I haven’t given them away to some baby yet.”
“Oh ok.” My face turned red and I put the Little Mermaid back. Could I stop embarrassing myself already? I took my time to pick the next movie. “What about this one then?” I held up the Parent Trap.
“Booooring.” Ally sighed.
“You pick one then,” I said.
Ally got up from bed and sat down next to me.
“No kidding you couldn’t find a good one; it’s only baby movies in here. Meanie must have put the good ones away. Wait here.” Ally walked out of the room. When she moved I thought I heard a rustling sound. I waited in bed and when she came back she had three movies with her, all of them with scary covers.
“Pick one!” She held them up
“Uhmm, that one,” I said and picked one randomly, not daring to read the titles because the covers looked scary.
Ally grinned. “Sure.” She opened it and put the disc into her player. “Want some snacks?” She asked while the player swallowed the disc.
“Yea, and some more soda please,” I added because I felt rather thirsty from all the playing. I thought Ally was going to bring us them herself but then she went to her door and called.
“Alex! Come here!” and after a moment her sister came.
“What is it?” She asked.
“We want snacks and soda and please hurry,” Ally said, tapping her feet.
“Okay, but no soda right before bedtime. Are you going to watch a movie?”
“Yes,” Ally said.
“Which one are you going to watch?”
I felt a pit in my tummy because it was wrong to lie but I said nothing.
“Good choice. I’ll get you some snacks and water then,” Alexis said and turned to leave.
“But Amber wanted soda and she’s our guest.” Ally complained while tugging her sister’s shirt just as she was about to leave. I thought she didn’t really have to. She was being too nice to us already.
“Ok, fine. But you only get one glass each,” Alexis said.
When her sister left, Ally looked at me and said. “I’m going to turn off the lights.”
With a click the room turned black, except for the lamp next to her bed.
“Cozy, huh?” she whispered and climbed back up in bed.
“Yea,” I replied. In truth, I didn’t really like the dark. At home I even slept with a night light sometimes and I even had it with me in my bag. I could never tell Ally that because then I would be a total baby. Mommy had insisted I took it with me though in case I had nightmares.
Alexis came back with our snacks and soda. It was a bowl of popcorn and two glasses of cola. She placed the glasses on the night stand and put the bowl between us. “There you go girls. Anything else?” she asked.
“No. Leave us,” Ally said and stood up to push away her sister.
“Ok, enjoy the movie…” Alexis shook her head and left us. I would rather have here there to watch the scary movie with us and watched as she left.
The movie wasn’t as bad at first as the cover suggested. Maybe a little scary, but not too much to make me jump. I watched, ate my popcorns and drank my soda. For a moment I looked over at Ally who seemed to be concentrating on something, like she wasn’t watching. Then when I looked back at the screen and wasn’t ready, a scary surprise startled me. I jumped and screamed. Ally looked up and giggled at me.
“That wasn’t even scary,” she said and shifted position and there was that sound again.
“I just wasn’t ready,” I defended myself. I sniffed. There was a new smell in the room. It wasn’t like how it was when I entered. This one almost smelt like bathroom, but I said nothing and since you eventually get used to things around you, I forgot about it as the movie went on.
The movie became scarier now and I had to be on my toes the whole time. Ally didn’t seem to have any problems with it and had probably seen many movies like this one before, with her sister being there for her of course. I didn’t have any experience with the horror genre and I screamed at every little thing but then there was one really scary scene where we both did.
Hugging each other, we heard someone running to our door. Ally quickly turned off the movie just as her sister came in.
“Why are you guys screaming all the time?” She asked, looking at us both searchingly.
“Nothing,” Ally said, moving back from me. “I just told Amber a scary story.”
“Weren’t you watching a movie?” Alexis asked, crossing her arms and walked into the room.
“We had seen it before and it was boring,” Ally replied.
Alexis looked suspicious. “What movie were you watching?” she said and peered her eyes her sister.
“Cinderella, no, the parent trap, no I mean the little mermaid!” Ally replied but I noticed her squirming around nervously and there was that rustling sound again.
“Are you lying to me?” Alexis went to the TV. She checked the disc and saw that it wasn’t Cinderella, The Parent Trap or the little Mermaid. She sighed. “You know what I think about you watching horror movies, but even worse you lied to me!” She took big steps towards Ally’s side of the bed. “You’re a bad girl!”
I sat up and froze. This was almost scarier than the movie.
“Look how scared Amber is! Bad girl!” she yelled at her sister and reached for her. Ally tried to crawl away across the bed, but Alexis acted quicker and grabbed her feet and pulled her back. Grabbing both her sister’s arms she lifted her up and sat her down in her lap.
“No, no please no. Please don’t Alex. Look, I’m sorry!” Ally struggled, but Alexis had a firm grip of her arms. In her lap, Alexis turned Ally around and put her on her tummy while holding her still. Ally kicked her legs around and tried to squirm free. “Help me Amber!”
“For every second you struggle I add three more!” Alexis warned.
“Please, don’t!” Ally pleaded.
My eyes went wide when Alexis gave her a hard slap on her sister’s butt. Ally stopped kicking her legs and another slap hit her. I looked away and sat there shocked, feeling tears welling up in my eyes, fearing I would be next.
Through Ally’s whimpering I heard Alexis slapping her at least five more time, but they were suppressed somehow. It didn’t sound like she hit her directly through her pajamas pants and on her butt. I was sure I heard something in the way.
The slaps stopped. I could hear how Ally sniffed while her sister shhh’d her. I dared to turn around and saw how she hugged her while gently rubbing her back, calming her down by whispering ‘I love you’ in her ear, rocking her slowly back and forth. My tears stopped. I felt warm because somehow their love was radiating on me.
Alexis stood up holding her sister close to her chest, like a baby.
“I think Ally needs to brush her teeth and go to bed,” she told me and carried her sister out of the room.
When the sisters came back, Alexis put Ally down in bed and helped her get under the covers. I looked down.
“Amber, it wasn’t your fault.” Alexis said when she was done tucking her sister in. “I did say you should have told me if Ally did anything bad though.”
I swallowed. “I’m sorry,” I hung my head low, scared my butt was about to get red.
“You’re getting away with a warning this time if you promise me you’ll tell if Ally does something bad again, you’re staying here a week now and this is important” Alexis tried to get eye contact.
“I pwomise,” I said softly still looking down.
“Look me in the eyes when you say it,” Alexis commanded.
I lift my head and did so. “I promise.”
“Good. I think it’s time to brush your teeth and go to bed now just like she did. Come.” I looked over at Ally and saw the she had already fallen asleep. I picked my tooth brush from my bag and followed Alexis out of the room. She led me into the bathroom where she left me and said good-night and sleep well.
The strong taste of mint filled my mouth when I made sure to reach every tooth because I hated going to the dentist. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my tear stained face and that my eyes were puffed red.
My legs crossed and I realized I had waited long before going to the bathroom. I quickly opened the lid, pulled down my pants and panties before sitting down to relieve myself. I wiped myself, flushed the toilet and washed my hands before I made my way back to Ally’s room where I crawled up in bed.
“Ally,” I whispered and waited for a reply. When she didn’t answer I rolled back to my side and put the blanket over me.
I tried to fall asleep, but I wasn’t used to sleep at someone else’s place. I moved around and shifted position but couldn’t lay comfortable. Ally’s bed was softer than mine and I thought I was going to like it at first but it wasn’t as nice as I thought.
In the dark, I heard something and sat up. I reached for my bunny, held her close at my chest and I felt how my heart beat fast. I was sure that something was standing at the door. I stopped breathing. I narrowed my eyes to see better and saw that there was nothing there. I started breathing again, laid down and closed my eyes.
When I was about to fall asleep Ally poked me. “Hey,” she said. She sat up and turned the lights on.
“Wanna play video games?” She started into nothing with a weird smirk on her face.
“Sure,” I said while blinking to get used to the light. Ally didn’t move. Instead she sat there looking at me.
“What?” I asked, maybe she wanted me to go and turn on her video game; I wasn’t sure how though as I didn’t own a video game console myself. Then I noticed a faint pounding, like someone was hitting a hammer on something in an even beat.
“Oh no,” she said with a tone that sounded indifferent like she didn’t mean it. “We have to get out.” She slid off the bed.
“Why?” I asked and looked at her strangely. Then I felt how the pounding coming closer.
“Someone is coming.” I saw Ally dashing to the door. “Hurry or he’ll come for you!” The pounding got stronger and stronger.
“Who is?” I asked while the beat was slamming on my chest.
“The Axeman, he’s here!” Ally yelled.
“Wait!” I yelled back and tried to get up from bed and follow her, but the pounding was somehow pushing me back. “Help me Ally!” I couldn’t move as I was held back by the hammering sound.
I saw Ally leaving the room. The pounding beat was somehow forcing me down on the bed and it was so loud I couldn’t hear anything. I thought it was going to compress my chest but then it stopped. I caught a gasping breath. Paralyzed, I had my vision fixed on the door. Nothing moved but then everything happened in what seemed like a minute but happened actually in maybe just a few seconds. I saw a man with his face covered by a black cloth rushing in towards me. I gasped as he swung his axe and I tried to scream but my voice failed. When the axe was an inch away from cleaving me into two pieces he disappeared. I saw him vanishing into blue sparks.
I sat up with a start. I panted and I felt sweat drops running down my back. I tried to figure out what was happening and where I was. Did I die? No, as I looked around I saw that I was still in Ally’s room. Her room was nice so it couldn’t be hell but it wasn’t quite as I pictured heaven either with all the fluffy clouds and stuff.
The room was dark again and I saw her sleeping next to me.
Shaking I let out a relived sigh when I figured that everything must have been a dream. Falling back to sleep again wouldn’t be easy though as I knew I almost always fell back in the same dreams if I went to sleep right after one. It was one of those nights I would have brought my pillow and sneaked down to sleep in mommy’s and daddy’s bed. They had begun shooing me off there recently though, saying I was too old to sleep with them.
The pounding sound started again just as I closed my eyes and when I sat up it stopped. There was no way I could go back to sleep like this so I decided I would sit there until dawn came. I sat there for what seemed like hours but was probably less. I looked around her room trying to find thoughts to entertain me. I felt a need to pee. I didn’t bother me much at first but soon it was all I could think off.
I got out of bed to head for the bathroom. When I looked out in the dark corridor I almost changed my mind. I took a breath and gathered my courage. One step at a time I tip-toe’d my way through, but when I was half way to the bathroom the hammer started beating again.
I panicked and began to run. I ran the fastest I could through the corridor, but then I lost my ground and fell. This time my voice didn’t fail me and I let out a loud scream. The pounding stopped and the house became quiet for a moment until I heard the sound of footsteps. I crawled into a ball and hid my face in my hands feeling the tears on my face.
“Amber?” I couldn’t see her but I heard Alexi’s voice. “Are you alright?” I lied there whimpering. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“N-nightmare,” I stuttered feeling how I was about to cry.
“Come let’s go back to bed,” she said.
I held up my hands excepting her to pick me up like she did to Ally, but she just took one of my hands and led me back to the room. She moved the blanket and patted for me to lie down. I did so and she tucked me in and said goodnight.
“It’s so dark in here,” I said.
“You don’t have to be afraid of the dark. You’re not a baby like Ally who sometimes sleeps with a night light.”
I just looked at her. I wished she had put me in her lap and consoled me just like she did to Ally.
“Right, she let you watch that horror movie didn’t she? Ok then.” She picked a night light from the drawer in Ally’s nightstand and plugged it in. “Night.”
I watched the faint glow from the star shaped night light as I drifted off to sleep and thankfully without the nightmares.
”You’re very lucky you know,” I told Ally. The lovely smell of pancakes filled the kitchen as we sat down and ate our breakfast. The rest of the night had been uneventful and I had been waked up by Ally’s tickling. We had both taken a shower after that and we were now enjoying the pancakes in the kitchen.
“No, why would I be that?” Ally asked while stuffing herself with a mouthful of them getting messy around her face.
“I don’t have a sister making me pancakes for breakfast at home. I’m lucky if there are still crumbs left in the cereal package.” I wished I could eat more than two pancakes but I wasn’t very hungry in the mornings. Ally was already on her forth.
“I don’t have pancakes all the time silly. I do have cereals most of the time because meanie here is too lazy. I think she’s only doing this because you’re here, and why doesn’t your mommy go and buy more if you’re out of them?” she asked.
I shrug. “She says she forgets.” I finished my glass of milk and leaned back in my chair feeling full.
Alexis came back with a pan that had another pancake ready and put it on a plate in the middle of the table.
“You’re hopeless,” she shook her head and sighed when she saw Ally’s face. “Look at Amber, she is doing fine like a big girl and you’re making mess worse than a baby.” She picked up a wash cloth and attempted to wipe the whipped cream and jam off.
“Hey!” Ally made a funny face and avoided it. “I can do it myself.” She snatched the washcloth from her sister. Alexis just shook her head.
“Don’t you want another one, Amber?” she asked, picking up the plate with the pancakse and was about to slide the pancake to my plate.
“I’m fine,” I said, feeling a little bad that I couldn’t show how much I loved her pancakes. “They were very, very good though. Thank y…” I suppressed a burp and covered my mouth. “Excuse me.” my cheeks heated.
“It’s ok. Glad you’re helping me teach the baby here how to behave,” she said looking over at Ally who stuck her tongue out at her.
“So what are you girls going to do today?” Alexis asked.
“We want to swim in the pool,” Ally said and put a fifth pancake on her plate. She was a little bigger than me but we were both pretty small and I couldn’t believe she would be able to fit one more as they were pretty thick. “Where are mommy and daddy by the way?”
“They aren’t coming home today.” Alexis took my plate and glass to the sink. “And you can’t go in the pool today because there is people here performing a maintenance on it“.
“We’ll watch cartoons or play video games in my room then,” Ally put lots of jam on her pancake.
“No, not when it’s such a nice weather out. Its summer and I think you should be out playing all the time. Go to the park, I’m sure there is other kids there you can play with,” Alexis said.
“Yeah but they are from my old school and I hate them,” Ally said and then started to eat her pancake.
Ally had started my school in the city last year. There was a rumor that she had been expelled from her old school, but she said that she left it because couldn’t stand that school because it was filled with ‘annoying brats’. I didn’t ask her much about it because I didn’t think it mattered. We wouldn’t have been friends if she didn’t go to my school and that was the most important.
Ally ate her pancake, this time without getting messy. “I can show Amber around then.”
“Sure, but don’t go away too far and be back by lunch,” Alexis picked up Ally’s plate and glass.
I followed Ally up. The rustling sound I heard when she moved around the night before was gone now. It must have been something she had in her pocket.
We got to her room. It was a hot day and I picked a t-shirt along with a pair of cotton shorts. Ally wore the same but as always her clothes looked better.
“Where are we going?” I asked as I began changing out of my pajamas.
“Some place. Why did you scream last night?” she asked.
“I had a nightmare,” I said. I had gotten over it now, but I didn’t want to think about the Axeman.
“Cool, was Alexis in it?” she asked.
“No?” she had scared me last night when she spanked her sister, but I couldn’t imagine her in a nightmare. Maybe in a good dream though. “Is she in yours?”
“Nope.” She giggled. “Not anymore.” It was that look again. The one she had in the dream. I couldn’t tell if she was serious. “She was there.” She stood silent for a while. “What did you dream about?”
“An axe-man,” I said as I put on my purple t-shirt with a cartoon kitten on. “He was cleaving me but then he just disappeared.”
“Oh, him, that’s cool! I know where he lives.” Ally jumped up in excitement.
“What?” I exclaimed. Ally was surely joking around with me again, she did that sometimes. One time she had said that cats were actually humans cursed by the devil because they had failed to do something he asked for them and she wouldn’t stop talking about it. It could be annoying at times, but I had learned to just laugh at her stories and sometimes I played along. I didn’t feel like doing it now though because I didn’t want to think about the Axeman.
“Wanna go there? He’s not scary during the day.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said.
“Let me show you.” She giggled and rushed down to the hall and put on her sandals. I did the same after I put on my beige shorts.
“Don’t be gone too long now. Lunch will be ready at noon.” Alexis came and gave Ally a water bottle. “It’s hot out, so make sure to stay hydrated.”
“Okay,” Ally said. “Bye meanie.”
“Bye girls,” Alexis said and we left the house.
We walked down on the side walk and passed a few other houses, one nicer than the next, until we turned into a dirt road leading into a small groove. When we came out of it I smelled the fresh country air.
“It’s so much nicer here than in the city,” I said and stopped.
“Nah, it’s boring here. Oh, look!” Ally pointed. Beyond fields of farmlands, I saw houses surrounded by threes that I thought belonged to a farm. “Axeman lives there.” She began skipping on ahead.
“Can’t we go to the park instead?” I asked.
“Do I have to remind you of how annoying those kids are?” she asked. “Or are you just afraid of the Axeman?”
“He doesn’t exist,” I took a sip from the water bottle, that I had to carry as soon as we got out of Ally’s house.
“Careful, he doesn’t like when people say that,” Ally said in a spooky tone and then giggled.
We walked under the sun on the road along the fields. It was hot and it was a good thing we had the water bottle. When we got there I realized it wasn’t a farm but an old abandoned mill of some sort. I would find out later that in the old days it had been a wood mill and also a place where farmers took their gear to be repaired. It had then become a small shoe factory before it shut down.
I stood at the yard and looked up. There was a three floor main building in stone along with a two smaller storage houses made in wood. As I looked around I had a feeling we weren’t supposed to be there. It was like the empty houses were watching us. The whole place looked creepy. Most of the windows were broken and wines covered parts of the main house.
“Can we really be here?” I asked as I avoided stepping on glass.
“Of course, nobody lives here anymore. Well except for Axeman.”
“There is no Axeman,” I said. “He was just in my dream.”
“Believe what you want. I know he is here though. Right up there.” Ally reached up her arm and pointed at the top floor of the main building. “He’s probably sleeping on the attic right now. He doesn’t like the day light.” Ally went to the entrance of the main building that had lost it’s door but I remained on the middle of the yard. “Come on, don’t you want to see him? He can only wake up at night so don’t worry.”
“I don’t think we should go in there, I think we’re trespassing,” I said.
“You’re just afraid of him,” Ally stuck her tongue out and went in. “Are you coming Amber?”
I crossed my arms and walked in after her.
The ground floor consisted of one big room with pillars supporting the roof. There were shoes, tools, and other forgotten items lying all over the place and it smelled of old dust that made me sneeze twice. It felt cold in there even if the sun beamed outside. Far back in the room there was a staircase and Ally was heading for it.
“Ally wait, I don’t want to be in here,” I said and wanted to back out.
“There is nothing to be afraid of,” she said. “Don’t you get that I’m just kidding around about the Axeman? I just want to show you how cool it looks up here.”
“I don’t like this place,” I said but stopped backing out of there. Ally walked to me.
“Come,” she said and grabbed my arm. “Isn’t it exciting? I promise you, this place isn’t haunted.” I let Ally lead me through the room. I stopped by the stairs and looked up. As the first floor was tall the stairs had to turn to get up to the next floor. I resisted when Ally tried to pull me up with her.
“Do you want to go out?” she asked and dropped my hand.
I shrugged. I told myself that it was nothing scary about this place. It was just an old house. I took a breath and followed her.
The stairs squeaked as we went up. The second floor wasn’t like the first one. When we came up we arrived in a corridor with several doors. On the floor there were bits of old newspapers scattered everywhere. The stairs continued one floor up.
“This floor is boring. It’s just a bunch of rooms with trash in them. There is a bed in the last room though. I jump on it sometimes.”
“Are you here often?” I asked.
“I like exploring this place” She replied. “And if there were ghosts in here I would have disappeared already, wouldn’t I?” Ally began walking up the next stairs. “Come, let’s go up to the next floor, there is something you have to help me with.”
We walked up and arrived on the third floor. This floor was filled with sealed wooden boxes. One was open and I saw that it was filled with shoes. In the middle of the room there was a ladder that led up to a hatch.
“There he lives, the Axeman.” Ally pointed at the hatch. I gasped and Ally giggled. “I’m just kidding.” She went to the ladder “Here is what you’re going to help me with. I have never been in up there in the attic because the hatch is too heavy to open. I think if we both climb up this ladder and push we might get it up.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I want to go out now.” The water bottle was empty and Ally hadn’t asked for it once and I needed the bathroom.
“You don’t have to go up to the attic if you don’t want to, but please help me up. I have explored every room in this place, even the basement but I haven’t been up there.” Ally put her hands on the ladder. It was pretty wide so we were both able to climb it at the same time. “Come.”
“I don’t like ladders,” I said. “What if we accidentally push each other and fall down?”
“Stop being such a bunny. I really want to see what is up there. Maybe there is a treasure.” Ally began climbing the ladder.
I took small steps and then stood next to it. I checked so it was firm.
“Come on,” Ally said. She could reach the hatch now and put her hand on it. She tried but she couldn’t move it more than about three inches. “You have to help me with this.”
“This is dangerous and maybe it’s locked,” I said and hoped it was so I didn’t have to get up there.
“I can’t see any lock and if it is on the other side that means someone must be living up there, which I really doubt,” Ally said.
I took a deep breath and then went one step up the ladder.
“There you go,” cheered Ally. “Look at me and don’t look down.”
I took three more and swallowed.
“Don’t look down!” I quickly turned my head up again. Soon I was next to her. I hold on to ladder and I felt that I was shaking a little bit.
“Okay, now you have to let go off the ladder with one hand and push. If you can, let go off both, it’s even better. I think I will try doing so,” Ally said. “Ready?”
I nodded and then forced my right hand of the ladder and put it on the hatch.
We began to push but we couldn’t move the hatch much more than Ally could alone.
“Okay that didn’t work. I’m going to use both my hands now,” Ally said and let go of her other hand. “Try to catch me if I fall.”
We began pushing again and this time we were able to push it far enough to take another step on the ladder. We had the hatch in an angel so I could see in. It was nothing in there but a door leading into another room.
“Crawl in. I can’t since you’re standing in the way,” Ally said.
“Let’s shut it again. I really want to go back now,” I said my voice trembling. My bladder was also telling me it was time to go.
“I have to see how it looks up there. Please, take another step.” Ally was pushing the hatch by herself, I was only supporting it. It was then we heard something. It sounded like a door slamming downstairs. There was someone coming. I gasped and let go of the hatch and started to climb down. Ally was able to carry the hatch back herself and climbed down after me. We rushed away from the ladder and down through the stairs to the second floor.
“Let’s hide,” Ally grabbed my arm whispering, but I only wanted to get out of there. Adrenaline gave me strength and I was able to get out of her grip and rushed down the next stairs only to be grabbed by another pair of hands.
“What are you kids doing in here!?” yelled a voice belonging to a man. “This place is not for playing!” he shook me. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
“Where is your friend?” he asked me. I couldn’t answer and the tears kept flowing as I cried loudly.
“I’m here,” Ally said and came down the stairs.
“You are not supposed to play around in here, it’s too dangerous! The floor could break any minute and you will be lucky if you only break both your legs.” The man let me go. I almost lost control of my bladder then but crossed my legs hard together.
“This is the third time I have found you here, Ally.” He took a step towards her.
I didn’t look at him but I heard he wasn’t as old as I first thought.
“Why are you going here yourself all the time if it’s so dangerous then, Evan?” Ally asked, looking into his eyes with her arms crossed.
“I saw you go here and when you didn’t come back I figured you went in and I was right. You have to follow me out of here right now.” Evan said.
We didn’t have much choice and followed him out of the mill. Ally put her arm around to console me. He had parked a two seat truck in the yard.
“I’ll drive you back to your house,” Evan said. I looked up a little and saw that he was around Alexi’s age. My arms still hurt after his grip and that wasn’t hard to figure why because his own arms looked big and strong.
“We can walk there ourselves,” Ally said.
“No, I want to talk with your sister this time so I’m going there anyway,” he opened the door. “You two have to share seat.”
I still sobbed and Ally let out a frustrated sigh. We climbed up on the seat and I burrowed my head in her side.
“Good way to start your summer by getting grounded Ally. I’ve told you several times no to go to the mill and now I’m telling your sister.” He looked at me. “I’m sorry for yelling to your friend. She didn’t know and it wasn’t her fault you took her in there.”
I sat there still hugging Ally while fighting the pressure from my bladder. It seemed like we had to drive a longer way to get back to her house than it was to walk. I was too shy and stupid not to ask Even to stop the car.
“Amber!” Ally gasped and hovered over the seat as it began to get wet.
Upstairs in Ally’s room I was drying off tears while changing out of my wet clothes. I couldn’t believe I had peed myself like a little preschooler and even worse it was in front of my Ally and in a stranger’s car. It was nothing compared to how I had embarrassed myself before. Evan didn’t seem mad at me for if ruining his car seat. He said accidents happen and it wasn’t my fault. He was also apologizing for yelling at me. The glare he gave Ally weren’t as friendly though.
After we came back to the house we followed Evan inside. He told Alexis where he found us and how dangerous it was to be there. Alexis didn’t think it would be fair to me if she’d ground her sister for the week so instead she gave her a lighter punishment than she would have gotten. First she had to help Evan clean up the accident I had in the car, even if I said it was my fault, and then she couldn’t leave her room for the rest of the day. Alexis plugged out her TV cables and took most of her toys too.
I told her we shouldn’t have entered the mill, but she always had to do things she knew wasn’t allowed to. Like one time in school when she wanted to sneak down the basement and check out the safe room that was down there. Even if the teachers reminded us over and over not to go there Ally persuaded me to go and explore it with her, telling me that no teacher was going to find out. Of course they did, and we got yelled at big time and then made a call to our parents. I wondered why we couldn’t do things that didn’t get us in trouble like everyone else did. She shrugged and said she just liked adventures, and by now I knew that if I was going to stay with her for a week I better to get used to them.
I had a new pair of pant on now, sky blue jeans shorts this time, and I took my wet ones to Alexis as she told me. Ally was done cleaning up in the car and I passed her after she had been sent up to her room. I said her name but she didn’t stop. She hung her head low and muttered something I couldn’t hear. I continued to walk and took the clothes to Alexis who was in the kitchen
“It wasn’t your fault Amber.” Alexis said, taking my clothes. “It’s a bit sad. Since the pool isn’t ready I had planned to take you both to the lake after lunch, but now I don’t have another choice than to ground Ally for the rest of the day.”
I nodded. I didn’t know what to do now when my friend was trapped in her room and she wasn’t allowed to leave it. “Can I still be with her?” I wondered.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to punish you, but she have got away pretty easy today. She is not allowed to see you until dinner. I brought most of her toys from her room, and you can play alone down here.” She gestured at a box on the kitchen table.
I tilted it and to my joy I found Ally’s set of Sylvanian-families dolls that I had wanted to play with ever since I saw them in her room the day before. I also found a house and some furniture for them in there and I almost let out a squeal of happiness. I brought the whole box to the living room and played with the small animal dolls on the rug in front of the TV.
After playing for a while, Alexis came in. “Hey Amber, there is lunch ready.”
I got up and put my arms in the air to stretch and let out a yawn.
“Is someone tired?” she asked and I instinctively covered my mouth because when I heard that question mommy always said it was time for bed, but then I realized it was in the middle of the day. “After lunch you can take a nap in here on the couch if you want.”
I hadn’t slept so well that night and it had been a rather eventful morning so I was rather sleepy, but only babies and preschoolers took naps so I said: “I’m fine.”
“Ok. Ally will have to eat alone in her room but Evan came back too and he’ll eat with us. You don’t have to be scared of him he’s actually a very nice guy. Don’t leave the toys on the floor please.”
I bent down and put them back to the box before I followed Alexis to the kitchen. She had made some kind of burrito thing and it looked and smelled good. Evan was already sitting at the table.
“Hey, are your arms ok now? He asked me.
I sat down at the table and nodded shyly. Alexis sat down next to me.
“I think I’m going to do the jar thing with her again,” she said to Evan as she poured me a glass of juice.
Evan looked puzzled. “What do you mean? What jar thing?”
“You know, the good girl and bad girl jar,” she said, as she sat down at table. “For every bad thing she does I put a marble in the bad girl jar and for every good thing I put one in the good girl jar. If she does something bad I take one out from the good jar and put it in the bad jar and the same thing conversely. And if she doesn’t keep marbles out of the bad girl jar she’ll get punished, but if she manage to keep some in the good girl jar she’ll be rewarded.”
I had never heard of a method like that. I thought maybe it was because I wasn’t a bad girl that often. I started eating and continued to listen.
“Now, I don’t give good girl marbles just by managing to maintain normal behavior. She has to do something nice for me, like helping with things around the house.” Alexis took a sip of her juice.
“Aren’t you just her sister?” Evan asked. I also thought it sounded like something a mommy would do and she was speaking like one too and her cooking tasted like years of experience even if she only was nineteen.
“Yes, but I’m responsible for her while mom and dad are gone; they would do the same,” she said and then handed me a napkin and pointed at her face where I had got burrito sauce on my own. My cheeks heated and I quickly wiped it off.
“What do you think?” Alex asked, looking back at Evan again.
“I don’t know, I guess it sounds ok,” he said, shrugging lightly.
“Me too,” I chimed in “She needs to act more like a good girl.”
“Aww… You’re so mature Amber, I wish she was more like you,” Alexis said, and that made me feel somewhat proud. I saw her exchanging a glance with Evan before she looked back at me. “Remember to help me keep an eye on her.”
We continued to eat and Evan and Alexis talked about something I didn’t understand. I wondered if they two were girl and boyfriends, but I didn’t dare to ask. Maybe they were just good friends and that question might embarrass them.
I was done eating and my tiredness attacked me again. I felt how my eye lids got heavier and heavier and I struggled to keep them up. I felt thirsty and reached for my juice and then, as I was about to take a sip, I heard the sound of a glass shattering on the floor.
“Amber!” Alexis exclaimed.
I got startled and jumped as I realized I had accidentally spilled my glass over my pants and then dropped it on the floor. “S-sowwy,” my lip quivered. I felt a pit of shame in my tummy as the cold juice on my legs dropped down on the floor.
“You have to be careful,” she said, getting up from her chair and to get something to remove the glass from the floor with. I hung my head low because I thought I wasn’t mature anymore, dropping my glass like a baby who drops her sippy cup. She must have seen the expression on my face because she said: “Don’t cry. It was just a glass. Go to Ally’s room and get some new pants on while I take care of the floor.”
I was about to leave but then I remembered something important and turned around. “Thank you for lunch, I really liked it.”
“Don’t thank me,” Alexis said. “It was Evan.”
I was sure it was Alexi’s who cooked and it surprised me. “Thank you Evan.” I said.
“You’re welcome,” he smiled. I turned back and went up to Ally’s room.
She was sitting on her bad with her teddy in her arms and her face had a sulk expression as she stared into nothing. When I came in she turned to me. “Why are you here? You’re not grounded.” She looked down at my wet shorts. “Did you pee your pants again?” she had an annoyed tone but I tried to ignore it.
“No, it’s juice,” I said, as I looked for a new pair of pants in my bag.
“Did baby spill her glass?” she asked.
“Why are you mad at me?” I found a pair of light and pink pajama shorts and they would have to do since I didn’t have another pair of short. “It’s not my fault you’re grounded.”
“We could have hid in one of the rooms, but you just had to run down right into him.”
“We weren’t supposed to be there anyway,” I said and began changing pants.
Ally sighed. “You’re such a good girl.” I had put on my pants now and turned to leave. “Hey! Wait, don’t go! I’m sorry, you don’t know everything yet.”
“What?” I asked.
“Don’t trust them and remember your nightmare last night”
“It’s important. I will tell you after dinner. By the way do you know what Evan work as?”
“No?” I wondered.
“He’s an axeman,” Ally whispered and I felt a creepy feeling in my tummy.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, but before she had a chance to reply Alexis called from downstairs:
“Amber? Are you done changing yet? Remember, Ally is not allowed to see you.”
“I’m coming,” I called back.
“I will tell you more later, just don’t trust them,” she said.
“I don’t believe you,” I said and with a sigh I walked out of her room. I guessed it was another dose of Ally’s imagination and soon she would build it up and won’t stop talking about it. Maybe I should play along for fun, I thought as I walked down the stairs and to the living room. Alexis sat there on the couch.
“So you’re taking a nap after all?” Alexis said noticing my pajama pants. I could hear Evan’s truck leaving outside.
“I couldn’t find any other,” I said. “I want to play again” I put my hand over my mouth to cover a yawn.
“We don’t have to call it naptime if you don’t want to. It’s pretty hot outside so why not call it a siesta?” She patted next to her on the couch for me to sit down.
“I’m not tired,” I said, but my voice didn’t sound too convincing.
“Come on, It’s pretty apparent that you are.” I saw that Alexis had to stop herself from giggling. I heisted but then I sat down on the couch. “You didn’t sleep well last night so I think it would do you good if you at least tried to rest for a little bit. You don’t have to sleep. I have some relaxation tracks you can listen to if you want. They are very calming and I’ve heard they can stop nightmares too. Want to me to turn it on?”
I shrugged and then Alexis went up and put the curtains over the windows. She picked up a blank disc from somewhere and put it in a player.
“Lie down and close your eyes,” she said with a shooting voice. I felt how my body really wanted to do so. I leaned back more and more in the couch and then I turned around to lie down. I closed my eyes.
The track began playing. It started with the sound of waves and I imagined myself sitting alone on an endless beach. The wind was blowing on my face and I looked out at the sea and at the waves kept coming. Whenever I breathed out a wave hit the beach and when I breathed in the wave rolled back to the sea. I took a hand full of the warm sand and slowly let it run through my fingers over my legs. I was completely alone, and when I looked to my right and left I saw how the beach never ended. I let myself lay down on the sand and looked up at the clear sky.
After a while I felt how my head was briefly lifted up from the sand and how something was placed under it. The pillow felt soft and I turned around and cuddled on it.
“Sleep well Amber,” Alexis whispered, before leaving the room.
The world looked blurred and the air felt dry and hot. I wasn’t fully awake and my eyes could only squint. I felt hair stuck with sweat on my forehead. I rubbed my eyes awake and then moved my hand over my mouth where I had drooled a bit. I felt sweaty, almost wet, especially around the bottom of my pajama shorts. I checked them with my hand and felt how the bottom was all warm and wet. I slipped my hand under the rim of my pajama pants and realized my panties were totally soaked. I couldn’t have sweated this much. I sat up, looked down and saw that I sat on a big wet round spot. The back off my purple kitty t-shirt felt a little wet too. I froze when I realized what I had done.
My lip quivered and tears welled up in my eyes. This was the second time I had an accident that day and I didn’t want it to be true. I was too old to pee my pants, only babies did that. There was a burning pressure in my tummy. Alexis is going to think I’m a total baby now. I blinked and tears ran down my cheek and then I let the lump in my throat burst.
“Amber?” I must have cried loud enough so Alexis had heard. I hadn’t thought of that. It was like I had forgotten that I was in Ally’s house for a moment. I tried to quiet down but she came in and found me there sitting on the wet spot. “What’s wrong?”
I didn’t look up. I hid my face in my hands and cried. I hated to embarrass myself. I hadn’t recovered from my last embarrassment and now there was even more pressure on my chest. I can’t say why but crying helped it get away somewhat so I let myself cry out loud again.
“Shhh.. Amber,” Alexis went to pull away the curtains to light up the room again before she sat down next to me in couch, avoiding the spot. “Don’t worry. The couch is fine. You just need to go up and get a new pair of pants. Calm down, it’s alright. Everyone does it sometimes.”
But not twice in a day, I thought and cried louder.
The couch couldn’t be fine. There must be a big wet spot on it right now. I spread my fingers and peeked through my hands and saw that I wasn’t sitting directly on the couch but on a white blanket of some sort. Moving away from the wet spot I realized what it was. I had seen the commercials for them on TV; it was a bed mat that little kids used for when they wet the bed. Why did she put it under me? Did she know I was going to wet the bed?
“I put it there just in case,” Alexis said like she had read my mind. “I always put them there when Ally is napping so I guess I put it there out of habit. I didn’t know you were going to need it, but right now I guess we’re lucky I put it there.” She began rubbing my back. It felt comforting and I calmed down. I realized she had never been this close to me. I leaned closer and didn’t want her to leave.
We sat there until my sobbing subsided and when it did she asked: “Are you thirsty?” I nodded because I really was. When I tried to swallow my mouth felt dry. It felt like I had been wandering through a dessert. She pressed me close to give me a squeeze before getting up from the couch.
I let out a deep sigh. It always felt better after a good cry. As I sat there waiting for Alexis to bring me something to drink, I thought about what she said. Did she say she put the bed mats there when Ally was sleeping? Or wait, she said napping right? I had to ask Ally about that later.
Alexis came back with a glass of juice. I chugged it down.
I wanted to get out of my wet clothes now and looked up at her. “Can you get some new clothes for me?” I didn’t want to go into Ally’s room like this.
“Sure, just wait here. Don’t you want to take a shower too?” she asked. I nodded. After sweating so much and peeing myself twice I felt rather unclean so it would be the best to take another one.
I slid off the couch. Alexis took and folded the used bed mat and gave it to me and told me to throw it in the bin in the bathroom. I followed her upstairs. She went to Ally’s room while I went to the bathroom. I put the bed mat in the bin as instructed and when I did I caught a glance of something. I wanted a closer look at so I took out the bed mat again and put it aside. I knew it was filthy and disgusting to put my hand in the trash but I had to find out. I reached it down and took something up for inspection. I held it away from me with my thumb and index finger. It was a rolled up diaper. As much as I knew there hadn’t been a baby here and that could only mean that someone in this house had used it and I was sure that it couldn’t be anyone else but Ally.
Right then I realized things I had been wondering about. The rustling sound when Ally moved around in her pajamas last night, the smell in the room and why Alexis put at bed mat under me when I was napping. Ally must be wetting the bed. And she calls me a baby sometimes, I thought. I knew that with this I could get back at her. My mouth formed a grin, but it faded back because then I felt bad for her. It wasn’t her fault she wetted the bed. I knew how bad it felt to pee the bed myself and I was her friend, though, I don’t think I would ever tease anyone about something like that. I knew some kids would but I was nice to others and I hated bullies. I put it back and decided that I was going to pretend I hadn’t seen it.
I undressed to get ready for the shower. When I was about to pull down my wet pants Alexis came in.
“Sorry, I thought you already were in the shower! I’m just going to put your new clothes here,” she said and did so before closing the door. Luckily, she hadn’t walked in on my when I was looking at the diaper. I let out a relived breath before stepping into the bathtub.
When I was done showering I dried myself and then picked up my new clothes to get dressed. I left the bathroom and walked downstairs.
“Feeling better?” Alexis asked.
“A little,” I said.
“Good. Want to play outsi-“she was about to ask something but was interrupted by a thud. And then there was another. It was coming from upstairs and it sounded like someone throwing things on the wall. “Wait here.”
I heard a few more bumps and then Alexis started yelling and then how Ally screamed back at her. I sat down on the couch in the living room and waited until it was over.
Alexis came stomping down the stairs. I heard the clinking sound of a marble falling in a glass jar. The bad girl jar, I guessed. Alexis came in to me and had an angry look. “She was throwing books around, that little baby. She got herself a marble for that.”
“How many does she have now?” I asked.
“Four. One for watching the horror movie, two for walking to the mill and one for the thing she did now. I don’t get it. She usually behaves much better. Is it because our parents are gone and she is testing her boundaries around me or something? Or maybe she wants to impress on you. She isn’t right?”
“No,” I said.
“This must be ruining the stay here for you. You two could have an amazing week together, but then she is acting like this, like she is five years old again.” Alexis sighed.
I didn’t really think Ally was acting too weird. This was like she was in school. Not throwing things around, but she liked to do things she knew she wasn’t allowed to and she also had a bit of an attitude.
“Right, I was about to ask if you wanted to play outside. There is a small playground on the back,” Alexis said.
During the time between then and dinner, I played outside for a while and then when I went back in I played with the dolls again. Alexis came and asked if she could play with me. I said yes, and that turned out to be really fun. Alexis used funny voice while she played making me giggle. She was so creative and I thought it was funnier to play with her than to play with Ally. Then it made me feel even more unhappy and jealous for not having a sister like that.
After playing for some time, Alexis dropped her doll, got up from the rug and told me she was going to make dinner. I offered to help but Alexis said she was fine but that I could come and set the table later.
I played until Alexis called for me.
“I have an idea,” she said while I was putting down plates on the table. “You’ll join the jar-thing too. Not because you need to, you already are a good girl, but I think it will help Ally. I was thinking that the one of you that gets the most marbles in the good girl-jar by the end of the week will get a surprise.”
That would be an easy win for me considering how things were looking then, and I loved surprises. I had nothing to lose and agreed on it. Alexis smiled and put a marble in my good girl-jar for helping her set the table. “But remember. You can get marbles in the bad girl-jar too,” she said.
That wasn’t going to be a problem because I didn’t do bad things often and when you were visiting someone it was extra important to be a nice guest.
“There is a punishment for each one you get too,” Alexis said. ”The last one Ally got left her with only a cracker for dinner. For going to the mill she got grounded for the day, and you know what happened after the horror movie,” she said the last punishment softly like she wasn’t too happy about it.
The punishments sounded harsh and I was sure Ally would stop doing more bad things.
When I was done setting the table we sat down to eat. Alexis talked about things we could do during the week, like going to the lake or to the mall. I had saved up some of my allowance so I could buy something, maybe a new doll or a swimsuit. After that, we didn’t find much else to talk about so we ate mostly in silence.
I thanked her for dinner and asked if I could help doing the dishes. She said she was fine and told me I could go to Ally’s room. I felt disappointed because I had hoped I could earn another easy good-girl marble.
I brought the toy box from the living room before going upstairs.
Like last time, Ally sat on her bed when I came in. I placed the box on the floor. This time she didn’t look at me, just stared into nothing. Still angry, I thought. Why didn’t she understand that if she did bad things she would get punished? And why was she angry at me?
“You wanted to tell me something after dinner,” I said, sitting down on the floor and picked up some dolls to play with.
“Never mind,” she said, still not looking at me, “Good girl wouldn’t listen anyway.”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t try to hide, but I was scared and wanted to get out of there,” I said. I picked up her favorite doll. “Wanna play?”
“Gimme her!” she jumped out of bed and snatched it, and then went back again. “I’m hungry. Go down and get me something to eat.”
“I can’t. You didn’t get dinner because you threw things around,” I said picking up another doll.
“Are you my friend or are you meanie’s friend?” she crossed her arms. “And you can’t play with my dolls if I haven’t said you can.”
“I’m your friend,” I said, putting back the dolls. “But that doesn’t mean I have to do bad things to help you out.”
There was a silence. I hoped we wouldn’t start fighting. I wanted us to stay friends.
“Don’t you think the punishment is a little too harsh?” she asked, looking at me with pleading eyes. “I’m really hungry and I wasn’t throwing things around, I was playing. What would you do if you had to sit up her all day?”
“Accept my punishment and think of what I had done wrong and promise myself not to do it again,” I said repeating what mommy said when I was grounded.
“I know I have been bad,” Ally said. “I’m sorry, and you can play with my dolls if you want. I’m just angry because I haven’t anything today. Are you sure you can’t get me something to eat?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Please?” she looked at me with puppy eyes.
“Okay, but like what kind of food?” I got up.
“Just anything,” Ally said. “I think we have cookies, and there is popsicles in the freezer. Be careful and don’t let meanie see you.”
I wasn’t really sure why I was doing it but I left Ally’s room to go down and get her something to eat. The Tv in the living room was on so I was pretty sure Alexis was watching it. I sneaked to the kitchen. I wasn’t sure where to look but I knew where most people kept their cookies high so kids couldn’t reach them. There they were. I saw a jar on the top of a shelf. I pushed a chair over there and got up on it. Standing on my toes and stretching my hands as high as I could, I reached it. I jumped off the chair and put it back before I turned back to hurry to Ally’s room. Then I remembered that she said something about popsicles too. Opening the freezer I saw them. My hand was shaking but I managed to get four.
I had to hurry. I left the kitchen with my pray and hurried up to Ally’s room. I got in a quickly closed the door behind me sliding down on it with a relived breath.
“Did you get them good girl?” Ally asked. She was grinning for some reason.
“Y-yea.” I said, still shaking.
“Alex!” Ally yelled. “Come here!” her grin was wider than ever now.
At first I thought she was crazy and gestured for her to stop yelling. But then, when Alexis barged in I realized what Ally was doing, and I who thought we were friends.
The clinking sound of the marble falling down in my bad-girl jar made me let out another whine. Ally had tricked me. It wasn’t fair. Shaking and sniveling I kept my eyes down at the floor as Alexis lectured me in the kitchen.
“I told you to tell me if Ally did something bad,” Alexis said. “This is the third time now and I hoped I could trust you.”
“I’m sowwyy.” I wailed. “B-but she was hungy and I felt sorry for her and-”
“But you knew why she didn’t get any dinner.” Alexis cut me off.
“S-she said she didn’t want to be friends with me if I didn’t do it,” I said, my voice sounded tinier than ever.
“Take your fingers out of your mouth and speak so I hear what you’re saying. You’re talking like a baby.”
“It’s Ally who is the baby!” I yelled. I felt how my face went red and the pressure in my tummy exploded when I thought about the stupid grin on Ally’s face. “She is biggest baby in the world and she even wears diapers too!” I yelled louder, hoping Ally would hear.
“Stop yelling Amber. And what are you talking about?” Alexis asked.
“I found diapers in the bathroom and I’m sure she was wearing them last night, so she is probably wetting the bed,” I sniffed.
“Ally is not wetting the bed. Not anymore. She stopped when she was five.”
“Then why did you put a bed matt under me!? And what was that sound I heard whenever she moved last night? And why did I find a diaper upstairs?”
“First of all calm down,” Alexis said and took a seat at the kitchen table. “Sit.” She gestured at the chair across the table. I sniffed and dried of some tears off my face before I did so.
Alexis sighed deeply, put her hands together and leaned forward. “Okay. She is still having problems keeping her bed dry at night,” she said softly like a whisper. “But don’t say anything. She’s like sensitive about it. I’m sure you know how embarrassing it feels.”
My tummy twisted when she said that. “I want to go home. When are your parents coming back? Do you think they can they drive me home?” I wanted nothing more than to crawl under the covers in my bed right then.
“They’re at our summer house. They were coming back today but then they said they were stuck there for some reason. And you can’t go home and be there alone.” Alexis put her hands on her face. ”I feel like such a horrible babysitter right now. I just want everything to be nice.”
Seeing her like that made me feel even angrier at Ally for doing all those things and I wished I wasn’t so stupid and went along with whatever Ally told me to do.
“Listen, I know you are a good girl and you don’t have to let Ally boss around with you. She won’t stop being your friend even if you don’t do what she says or if you tell on her when she’s doing something bad,” Alexis said. “I want to go up and to talk to her. You can go and watch Tv, but nothing R-rated. Did Ally show you how to turn on Disney channel yesterday?”
I nodded. Alexis went upstairs and I to the living room.
The Tv was already on when I sat down in the couch. I didn’t really watch it. Instead, I thought about what had happened and wondered if Ally and I could continue to be friends after it.
Why was she so upset about that little thing? And why was she so mad at me? It wasn’t me that made her get punished. After thinking for a while I concluded that she was probably angry at something else but let it all out on me.
Then I did something bad again. There was a violent adult movie on Tv. I got caught up in it and forgot to switch over to Disney channel.
People screamed and some of them were shot. I gasped when I saw blood splattered on the walls and then covered my eyes when a building exploded. The movie was freaking me out but I couldn’t stop watching.
They were chasing a bad guy while cursing a lot as they missed with their guns. The bad guy jumped into a car and drove away like crazy. The good guys found a car too and drove after him. They cached him like mad until his car flipped over and exploded.
I nervously sucked on my fingers as I watched and couldn’t keep my eyes off the screen. I had never seen something like that. The quality on Ally’s tv and the surround system made it feel like it was actually happening.
When the chase was over, the movie switched scene. It was night and the good guy went into a hotel room. There was a woman there too. At first they talked and then they began kissing very passionately. While doing so he began to take of her dress and soon she was only in her underwear. He took of his pants and got down in bed with her. I watched it with wide eyes.
“Amber!” Alexis shout, made me jump. “What are you watching!?”
“I-I don’t know,” I reached for the controller and frantically tried to turn it off. “I wasn’t really watching- I…“
“You can’t have missed that it was an adult movie and I said nothing R-rated!” she came over, snatched the remote and turned off the Tv. Her stern look made me wriggle around nervously.. I didn’t mean to watch it, it just happened, and now Alexis must feel even worse about herself. My throat felt stuffed and I had to hold back tears
Alexis sighed. “I don’t have the energy to yell or be angry anymore. You two have been causing so much trouble today and I don’t know how to deal with it. If you two don’t start acting better, I might call Evan to help me out. Let’s say this; if any of you get five marbles in the bad-girl jar I will call him right away. Ally is on four and now you’re on one. Your punishment for watching the adult movie is to go up to Ally’s room and go to bed right now.”
I got up from the couch but hesitated. I didn’t know what time it was but I wasn’t feeling tired and I didn’t know how to feel about meeting Ally again. One part of me was still angry at her for getting me in trouble. Another part wanted to forgive her, leave it behind, try to be friends again and enjoy the rest of the week together
“I can understand if you’re mad at her. If you want you can go and sleep in our guest room, but I told her to apologize for getting you in trouble and she said she was very sorry too,” Alexis said. “If you go to Ally’s room, tell her she has to go to bed too.”
“Okay,” I said before walking up the stairs. I could forgive her if she told me why she was angry at me. I knocked on her door, “It’s me. Alexis said I had to go up.”
“Come in,” Ally said. She was wearing her pajamas and played with dolls on the floor. “Can we pretend it didn’t happen?”
“I guess,” I said. “If you promise me that from now on you’ll be good and stop doing bad things. Why did you do that to me anyway? What did I do wrong?”
“I was stupid,” she said, continuing to play with her dolls sort of ignoring me.
“Can you tell me why you did it?” I asked, opening my bag to take out my pajamas.
“I told you, I was just being stupid,” she shrugged. “Let’s just forget it.”
“Ok, but why were you even angry at me in the first place?” I asked while taking off my clothes and began changing to my pajamas.
“I wasn’t really angry at you. I was angry at meanie. I’m sorry. I can make it up for you later. Let’s not talk about it.”
“What’s your problem with her anyway? She does a lot of nice things to you and it seems like you almost hate her.”
“What nice things? You mean grounding me, not giving me any dinner tonight or spanking me?”
“You know you did bad things and I think it was fair she punished you,” I said. I put my clothes in my bag and sat down at the edge of her bed. “Alex said you had to go to bed too by the way.
“Ok uptight good girl. I was angry at you because it was your fault we got caught both times. I’m just trying to have some fun here but you’re such a cry baby and ruin it,” Ally said and looked up for the first time since I had entered her room.
“So I’m the baby?” I looked at the back of her pajama pants and I could swear her butt looked bigger. “I know I’m not the one in diapers.” I hadn’t planned on mention it and it was uncharacteristic of me to do so but she had made me so angry and I wanted to get back at her.
“What do you mean?”
“I think you know what I mean,” I said, “And I’m pretty sure you’re wearing one right now.”
“I’m not!” Ally moved back trying to cover the back of her pajama pants, making it even more obvious that she was wearing one. I grinned.
“Pull down your pants and prove you aren’t then,” I said, taking a step closer to get a better look. “Wait, I think I can see it already.”
“Get out!” she cried and threw a doll at me, but missed.
I took another step forward, threw myself at her and before she could react I grabbed her pajama pants and attempted to pull them down. “Stop it!” She kicked her legs while holding on to her pants, but I was able to pull them down slightly and that was enough to catch a glimpse of the rim of the diaper.
“I knew it. You are a wearing them, you baby.” I let go of her pants and moved back, afraid that she might throw herself over me, but she just sat there with a somewhat shocked expression. I think she didn’t know I could do something like that. Well, before that I didn’t know either.
“I wear them because meanie puts me in them. I don’t even need them but she makes me wear them anyway.”
“She told me you wet the bed,” I said.
“She’s lying. I know she is some kind of idol to you, but she isn’t as nice as you think she is.”
“I don’t believe you. You’re just so freaking spoiled Ally!” I picked up my bunny and moved towards the door. “You’re ruining this week and you don’t know how lucky you are to have a sister like her!” I got out and slammed the door. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I had kept my anger in my chest and it felt good to finally let it out but now I was afraid our friendship had ended. That thought made my eyes water as I ran downstairs.
Ally and I had known each other for almost a year and we had never had a serious fight until now. We did argue over silly stuff like what to do at recess, what pet we rather had or what ice-cream flavor is the best. She was stubborn and refused to be wrong but I put up with it. I thought it was fun to argue with her and I didn’t mind that she picked what to play either, but sometimes it annoyed me that she never wanted to do things I suggested or never letting me win like the night before when we played that racing game.
Despite that, she was a good friend. She was much better than me to stand up to bullies and always said the right things to make them stop. That’s how we became friends. Before Ally went to my school there was this girl named Stacy who always picked on me.
Back in kindergarten and first grade most of the girls played together during recess but she always made sure to exclude me by saying: “We’re too many, she can’t play with us,” or “If she joins I don’t want to play anymore.” It hurt. I didn’t know why she didn’t want to play with me, but I learned to play by myself.
In second grade she began saying mean things whenever she had the chance, like calling me weird, ugly or stupid. I told a teacher about it and that was huge mistake. Stacy denied it all and the teacher told us to just play nice. After that Stacy became more serious with her bullying. I learned that it was best to try to ignore her and stay away from her. It helped most of the time but she still found moments when she could throw a mean comment and get away with it.
When third grade started and Ally transferred to our school, lots of things changed to the better. Ally got a desk next to me and she started talking to me and soon we became friends. Whenever Stacy tried to say something mean to me that year, Ally stepped in and stood up for me. So eventually Stacy leaved me alone and I had finally made a friend who I now thought I might have lost, and it was my own fault.
I sat down at the first step of the stairs and covered my face with my hands when I heard someone coming from the living groom.
“What’s wrong?” Alexis asked.
“We fighted,” I said through my sobs.
“You fought?” she sat down to get on eye level. “Did she hit you?”
“No. It wasn’t that kind of fight.”
“Okay. Is Ally crying too?”
“I don’t know.” When Alexis said that, I got of Ally crying in my head and that made me feel even more angrier at myself.
Alexis shh’d me and rubbed my back. “Don’t worry. Sometimes even best friends fight.” She waited for me to calm down before she asked: “Can you tell me what happened?” I told her everything.
“I told you not to mention the diapers. Your punishment for this is to wear diapers too for the rest of the week,” Alexis said and then sort of chuckled.
I looked up at her shocked. She began laughing.
“No, I’m just kidding!” Something was apparently really funny and she had to fight hard to stop laughing. “I wouldn’t do that. I don’t even think you have done something bad, and you shouldn’t have to wear diapers if you don’t need them,” she had to catch her breath. “Can you try to be supportive of her instead? I know that if you weren’t so angry at her you would. Am I right?”
“Good. I still think it would be best if you two sleep in separate rooms tonight. Come.” She reached out her hand. I took it and she led me up to the guest room. “Need anything before bed? No? Okay, goodnight,” she tucked me in and kissed my forehead before leaving the room. “Sweet dreams.”
Everything that happened had made me pretty tired and it was easier to fall asleep than I thought.
Sometime later that night, I woke up. I thought I had heard the door close and looked that way. The nightmare from last night flashed in mind and I half expected Axeman to show up at the door, but nothing happened. Then I heard the sound. It must have been there since I woke up but I hadn’t perceived it yet. It sounded like sea waves and it was soothing somehow. I recognized it but couldn’t tell from where.
I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep.
The guest room was bigger than my own room at home but it still felt pretty small when you considered the other rooms in Ally’s house. The queen-sized bed I slept in covered half of the room and there wasn’t much else in it, except for a nightstand with a lamp, a mirror standing on a drawer, a wardrobe and there was a quite big window in there with a view of the outside of the house’s front side. I wished it had been covered by a blind or that the curtains had been drawn because the sun shined right in my face making me frown and I woke up earlier than I felt like.
Then I felt a wet sensation under me. It couldn’t be true. I kicked off my covers, sat up and rubbed my eyes. I didn’t start crying this time. Instead I sat there and stared down in disbelief at my wet pajama pants. Although I wet the bed at home sometimes, it wasn’t more than once every three months or so. I had only done it twice after I started third grade, or three times if you count yesterday in the couch. This was the fourth, and I hadn’t wet the bed two times in a row for as long as I could remember.
Whenever I wet my bed at home, mommy always asked if I had remembered to use the bathroom the night before. I hadn’t done so last night and maybe it was because of that. It was still odd though. I remembered the day before and that Ally still wore diapers at night and it made me feel a bit better about it. But then I remembered our fight and it made me sad. Even if she had been mean to me, I wished I hadn’t pulled down her pants or yelled at her, because I didn’t want to lose her as friend. I would apologize as soon as I got the chance and hoped she would forgive me and that we could be friends again.
I knew that if I wanted to get dressed I had to visit Ally’s room and get my clothes and if she was awake she would see my wet pants. Even if she probably wet her bed every night I didn’t want her to see me like this and the sheets and the mattress had to be taken care of too so I had to tell Alexis about it. Even if it wasn’t really the best way to start the day, she had been supportive last time so I didn’t feel too bad or embarrassed about it.
Before peeking out and check to make sure that no one was out in the corridor, I left the guest room and went to Alexi’s door and knocked. When she opened she understood the situation right away, and before I even had the chance to say I’m sorry she told me not to worry and to go to the bathroom and take a shower while she picked some new clothes from Ally’s room.
The warm shower helped untie a few knots in my chest but I couldn’t feel fine until I apologized to Ally. I was going to be empathetic and tell her about my bed wetting to make her feel better. For a moment I even thought I might ask her if it would help if I was wearing diapers too. I wasn’t really sure about it, but if she told me it would make her feel better I might do it for her. Actually, I was a bit curious about trying them even if I probably would feel like a total baby. After the shower I got dressed with the clothes Alexis had picked up for me. It wasn’t going to be as hot as yesterday, she said, so she had left me my dark blue jeans.
I walked downstairs to the kitchen. Ally wasn’t there yet but Alexis was. It was good because I needed a bit more time to prepare myself to see my friend. “Ally isn’t grounded today too, right?” I asked, sitting down at the table where there was a bowl, a spoon and a package of cereal.
“No. It’s pretty early so she is sleeping still.” Alexis said. “Do you think you two can be friends again today?”
“I don’t know,” I said. I hoped so, but I didn’t know if she could forgive me.
“Okay. I talked to Ally after you went to bed and she said she wasn’t mad at you. Feel free to have some breakfast,” Alexis said. “Ally was right yesterday. I don’t make pancakes every morning. I hope cereals will do. Do you want milk too?”
“It’s ok, and yes please,” I said.
“We need to talk about something,” Alexis said as she picked a carton of milk from the fridge. “You left quite a big spot on the mattress this morning.”
I stared down at the table ashamed and nodded. “I’m so sorry.”
“And then yesterday too in the couch, does this happen a lot?” she asked as she filled the bowl with milk and cereals. Her tone wasn’t angry but it was less gentle than the day before, it sounded more concerned.
I mixed the cereals around in the bowl with my spoon for a moment before answering. “No.”
“Like you know now, Ally has this problem every night and she wears protection for it.”
Diapers, I thought and nodded. Alexis probably didn’t want to use the word because Ally would feel more like a baby then. I was afraid that I also had to wear them now since I had wet the bed twice and asked: “Do I have to wear them too now?”
“No, not if it doesn’t happen often. Some kids just do it from time to time, but most of them don’t need diapers since it happens so rarely. But do you think you can promise me it won’t happen again while you’re here?”
Maybe if I went to the bathroom before going to bed it would be fine, but I wasn’t absolutely sure though. It could happen still. Maybe I could suggest that I wore diaper too just in case, but mostly to help Ally feel better. It felt weird to ask so I didn’t. “I don’t know,” I said, finally.
“Okay. Do you feel fine otherwise?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said. Apart from feeling a bit stressed out about my friendship status with Ally, nothing else was really bothering me
While I ate my cereals I realized that I did miss home and my parents a bit though. I wished I could talk to them. They said they would call me but they hadn’t done so yet. They were visiting my daddy’s relatives in Europe and they didn’t take me with them because they said it would be more fun for me if I was staying with Ally. How things looked right then at the second day, I wasn’t so sure. Just then as I was thinking of my parents, something strange happened. The phone ringed, Alexis picked it up and after a few seconds she gave the phone to me. It was them.
“Hello? It’s Amber.”
“Hey Amber,” it was daddy’s voice. Unconsciously my mouth formed a smile like it did when I hadn’t met someone in a while and saw them again, and even if I was talking to him on the phone I was pretty sure he was smiling too. “Sorry we couldn’t call earlier.” He then explained that they had been too busy to call and I asked why but he said it was adult stuff and they would have to wait to talk about until they came home. He then asked about how I was and I said I was fine but that I missed him and mommy. He gave the phone to her. She asked what I had done and what I was going to do today. I told her we had been playing and then I asked Alexis if she had planned anything for us today.
“Maybe you and Ally can ride your bicycles to the park,” she suggested. I told mommy we might do that. There was a silence and then mommy told me to have fun and then we said good bye before hanging up. The phone call was really what I needed to feel better that morning.
As I gave the phone back to Alexis, Ally came down to the kitchen. She had a cranky look on her face and kept her eyes on Alexis and didn’t look at me, like I wasn’t there. Then I saw that she was only wearing her pajama top and diaper. I was taken aback a little, but since she already knew that I know she wore them, she probably didn’t care about it. It felt odd and somewhat silly to see her wearing it though. I got a better look it now than the night before. It had prints on and they looked pretty cute, a few moons together with stars and a cursive text that said nighttime size 6. I didn’t recognize the brand from the baby commercials on TV but it looked to be bigger than a baby diaper and it fit her fine. Then I noticed something else that surprised me, although, it maybe shouldn’t because well, that’s what they were for. I hadn’t seen many wet diapers but when she came closer I was pretty sure it was because it was almost tinted yellow and sagged a bit. The faint smell confirmed it: Ally had used it.
“Why haven’t you come to take this stupid thing off already?” she asked Alexis, irritated. I wondered why she didn’t take it off herself, it couldn’t be that hard. She must be capable of taking the tapes off on her own. “And what are you looking at?” she turned to me.
“Nothing,” I stammered, looking away and feeling a pit in my tummy. She was still angry at me. “I’m sorry Ally, and it’s ok…”
“It’s totally not ok,” Ally turned back to Alexis and gave her an unfriendly glare. She then grabbed her sister’s arm and attempted to pull her. “Come take it off.”
“Can’t it wait ‘til after breakfast?” Alexis asked.
“No way!” Ally stomped her foot.
“Go and take it off yourself this time then. And why aren’t you wearing any pants by the way?”
“Because it’s freaking hot to wear a stupid diaper under them,” Ally said.
“Stop saying freaking or stupid or you’re getting yourself a marble in the bad girl jar,” Alexis warned. “Did you have any leaks?”
“No!” Ally made it too obvious.
“I told you, you couldn’t get in on yourself,” Alexis sighed, “Is the bed wet too?”
Ally looked away. “Only the pants, but not much,” she said in a softer voice than before and dropped her sister’s arm when she was not going to move.
“Take it off and get dressed,” Alexis said and with that Ally stormed back upstairs.
I finished my cereals and I didn’t know what to do now when Ally was still mad at me so I remained at the table and started hopelessly into nothing while thinking about a way to mend our friendship. What I needed was a new and better chance to apologize to her. Alexis was still at the table drinking coffee. The thought about suggesting to support Ally by wearing diapers came back to my mind. It couldn’t be that bad to wear them and if it helped I would, but then again, it felt weird to ask. After a while, Ally came back dressed. She took a seat at the table and made herself a bowl of cereals. I didn’t dare to look at her but I guessed she still kept a moody look. We sat in silence except for the sound Ally’s cereal crunching until Alexis spoke. “Amber wondered what you two could do today and I suggested that you go ride your bicycles somewhere.”
“Like, where?” Ally asked. “We can’t go to the mill anymore so there is no other fun place to go.”
“There are plenty of other places. Like the park or the forest…”
“We could go to the park, but only if we get some money to buy ice cream,” Ally said. I looked up. Did she still want to be with me? “And what bike is Amber going to use?”
“My old one, and sure you can have some money for ice cream, but don’t just go there for them. Play there for a while too.”
It looked like Ally was going to say something back but then she didn’t. Her bowl was empty now and she got up from her chair. “We’re going then. Come, Amber.”
Were we friends again? Alexis did say that Ally had told her she wasn’t mad at me but after she came down in her diaper and almost yelled at me I wasn’t so sure. When we had made our way to the hall I found a better chance to apologize about last night. “I’m sorry.”
“Yea, how’s it like to know that your friend is the biggest baby in the world?” she asked. I was glad that she said friend.
“You’re not a baby. It’s not your fault. I…” I hesitated and took a breath to gather courage. ”I do it sometimes too. I even did it last night.”
“You did?” Ally wondered, as she sat down to put on her sandals.
“Yea, and yesterday too,” my hearth beat faster.
Ally looked up at me. “Wait, when?” she asked.
“When I napped in the couch,” I said. “Luckily, I didn’t ruin the couch because Alexis had put a bed mat under me. And that’s kinda how I found out you wet the bed.”
Ally was silent for a bit and seemed to be in deep thoughts. When she didn’t say anything for a while I sat down too to put on my sandals.
“Well, guess we’re both babies then,” she said eventually and shot me a quick smile. She moved closer and leaned close to my ear. “We have something we need to talk about,” she whispered and her smile faded, “A secret. A big one.”
I loved secrets, but I had a feeling this one was going to be more serious than the other ones we shared.
With the wind at our back we rode our bikes with ease. Ally rode fast and with confident while I was still getting used to Alexi’s old one. At times I struggled to keep up with her and when I finally did she giggled and pedaled on faster. Even if I feared she might take an unexpected turn, get out of sight and make me get lost, it was nice to see her being herself again. If she was going to share a secret it probably meant we were friends again too. I might have been right the day before after all; she wasn’t angry at me but at someone or something else. As we biked I kept my mind on what the secret could be. Maybe it had something to do with her being upset.
The clouds in the sky reminded me of cotton candy and the temperature was lower than yesterday which made the weather perfect for bicycling. When we were close to the path leading into the grove before you were at the countryside, I feared she would turn and head for the abandoned mill again, but to my relief she didn’t and continued to follow the road. Eventually we arrived at the park and we found a tree to leave our bikes at.
“It’s pretty early and I don’t think the ice cream place is open yet, so we can play or something until then,” Ally said as she took her helmet off.
“What about the secret,” I asked.
“Soon,” she said.
“Sure,” I said. I couldn’t tell last time I had been feeling so curious over something. After I had taken off my helmet too, I noticed she had her Ally-stare on me. “What?”
“Nothing,” she said and then bent down to lock our bikes together. “Let’s go play.” She skipped on ahead towards the playground. I followed.
The playground consisted of an incredible four floor high playing-castle and around it there was a few smaller play sets. This early, it wasn’t very busy yet. There were only two boys, maybe five or six years old, playing in one of the play sets and a toddler playing alone in a sand box. A woman, who I guessed was their mother, watched them from a bench. The swing set was free and Ally headed for them. We took one each.
Ally kept her eyes at the ground, swinging leisurely at first. I thought she might tell me the secret but then she looked up and swung higher and higher. I began swinging too, not as I high as her of course. It seemed that Ally was swinging so high her swing went upside down at times.
From the swing I had a better view of the park. It had many bushes, trees, a pond and patches of flowers and it looked pretty and well kept.
As we flew on our swings, more and more people came to the park, and soon the playground became busier. Two other girls took the swings next to us. Not long afterwards, Ally jumped off, landed in the sand and walked away. I put my feet in the sand to slow down before stepping off my swing to follow her.
For some reason she seemed a bit uncomfortable; she kept looking around the park with her arms crossed, self-consciously. I didn’t think it was because of the girls but something else. She walked to an empty bench. I sat down next to her. Ever since we had come here Ally had been a bit distant and wasn’t as cheerful as she had been when we biked.
“I haven’t been here for a while,” she said, eventually.
“Why? It seems pretty nice here. I really want to go play in that fort later.” I turned around and pointed at the big play castle.
“An abandoned fort would be more exciting. Tell your parents to take us with them to Europe next time. I heard they have lots of old haunted castles there.”
“Okay, but can we play here now? We can pretend it’s a real fort and one of us can play a ghost and chase the other.” I thought Ally would love to play that. She was obsessed with ghosts and that’s what we had been looking for down in the basement at school once. I wasn’t sure if I believed in them though. Some of Ally’s ghost stories were pretty creepy though.
“You can go play if you want, I’ll wait here,” she said, watching a boy playing with his kite a few meters in front of us.
“Why? You said you wanted to play earlier.”
“I don’t really feel like playing anymore.”
Something was obviously upsetting her. “Ally, I know something isn’t right,” I said. “Are you still mad at me? Am I doing something wrong?”
“No, I’m not mad at you, and I’m sorry about yesterday. It was just that, Meanie said that Evan was going to nail boards over the door to the mill, so I was a bit angry at you for taking my favorite place away, but I realized it wasn’t really your fault and I was just being stupid. I wanted revenge on someone, and then it somehow became you, and I’m sorry. You’re a good friend, Amber. I mean, you’re still hanging out of me even if I’m the biggest baby in the world.”
“I don’t think you’re a baby even if you’re wearing…” I stopped myself from saying the word ‘diapers’ because Alexis hadn’t used it and also in case someone was eavesdropping. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong now?” I asked.
Ally took a breath. “It is part of what the secret is about and I’m not ready to tell it right now. Until then, you can go and play while I sit here.”
“Okay,” I said, getting up from the bench. “I’m coming back soon. I’m just going to check out the fort.”
“Wait. I have a question,” Ally grabbed my arm. “Did Alexis put on one of those relaxation tapes when you were took your nap yesterday?”
“Yes,” I said, remembering how it had made me feel calm and relaxed so that I had almost fallen asleep at once. “Why?”
“Okay,” she said. She looked to be in thoughts again and when it didn’t seem like she was going to answer why, I left her and went to the playground. Maybe she’d explain everything later.
I climbed up the fort. It wasn’t crowded but I wasn’t the only one there so sometimes I had to make room for others. I explored the fort for a while, trying all the slides and climbing the tricky parts. When I got to the highest floor, which was a bit scary to get up to, I could see Ally still sitting on the bench. I tried waving to her but the bench was facing the other way so she couldn’t see me. I didn’t really like being this high up so I turned to go back down again. Then I felt someone tugging my shirt. It was a little girl, younger than me, maybe six. She had troubled expression on her face. “I can’t get down,” she said.
“There is a slide over there,” I said, and pointed.
She shook her head. “Too scary, please help.”
“You can climb down where you come up too. Do you think you can do that?” I asked.
“No… And I need to potty too.” She was almost tearing up, bending her knees up and down in a little potty dance. I felt sorry for her. She had probably been following her friend up and then didn’t dare to follow her down.
“Okay, I think I can help.” We went to where I had climbed up and I took a few steps down and told her to climb after me and that I would catch if she lost her grip. After some hesitation she turned around and took a step. I told her to not look down like Ally did when we were climbing the stair in the mill, and soon she managed to climb all the way down to the third floor. Here she dared to go down the slide by herself. I had seen enough of the fort now and it wasn’t fun playing here without Ally so I went down too. I saw the little girl running for the restrooms and hopefully she’d make it.
When I turned to go back to the bench I saw that Ally wasn’t there anymore. I walked over there anyway figuring she might have gone to the restrooms or something. Just as I sat down, someone from behind me asked: “Hey, what are you doing here?”
It was Stacy.
“Playing,” I answered. She was there with another girl too I didn’t recognize.
“With who, Bella? She isn’t real you know.” she smirked. “Remember when you pretended to be her too, and turned in two home works? It was hilarious.” The other girl giggled.
“Y-yea.” I began feeling anxious and hoped Ally would be back soon.
“So you’re here alone then?” Stacy asked.
“No, Ally is here too.”
They sat down at the bench next to me. I moved away from them crossing my arms feeling a bit uncomfortable sharing bench whit the worst bully I know.
“Urgh.. I really wished I wouldn’t get to see that freak face this summer,” Stacy said.
The other girl found it funny and laughed. “I think I know who that is,” she said when she caught her breath. “I think she’s the one who got expelled from my school.”
“Yea, I know she got expelled. Why was she anyway?” Stacy asked the other girl, “Well, except for being a freak face of course.”
“Well she…” the other girl began whispered something in Stacy’s ear. I found myself leaning their way because I felt curious. I couldn’t hear muchthough.
Ally had told me she wasn’t expelled but that she transferred. I wasn’t sure about it though and wondered what the girl was telling Stacy. When she was done they both began laughing.
“I think Amber here wants to know too,” Stacy said. “Shall we tell her?”
“I don’t know, she’s Ally’s friend right?” she asked.
“Yea,” Stacy said.
“Do you want to keep being Ally’s friend?” the girl asked me.
“Then I better not tell you.”
“Maybe we should tell her anyway,” Stacy said. “She deserves to know. And afterwards, if she wants, she can stop being Ally’s friend and hang out with us instead, but only if she manage to complete a small test,” I didn’t like her tone and I knew she was going to make me do something bad.
“I don’t need to hear it,” I said. And I wouldn’t stop being her friend anyway, I thought.
“Come on, I know you want to,” Stacy said.
“Hey! Leave her!” Ally was finally back and came rushing in full speed towards the bench.
“What’s wrong? Me and Jenny were just talking to her,” Stacy said when Ally was right in front of her.
“Go away, this is our bench,” Ally said.
“It’s nobody’s bench, stupid head,” Jenny said. “And we can sit where we want.”
When Ally looked at her, her face reminded me a lot of how Alexis looked when she had been angry at us yesterday. They were sisters after all. “Remember what you did in first grade?” she asked Jenny. “I think that took stupid to a whole new level.”
With that Jenny got up from the bench. “Want me to tell Amber what happened last year?” She pushed Ally lightly making her take a step back.
“Let’s go, Ally,” I said and got from the bench. I didn’t want any fighting to begin.
“Not yet,” Ally said, before turning back to Jenny. “If you tell her, I tell Stacy what you did in first grade.”
“Whatever, it’s nothing compared to what you did last year,” Jenny said.
Stacy was watching them with a smirk. It reminded me off all the times Stacy had been mean to me before. I felt how tears were close and before anyone could see them, I ran off.
“Amber!” Ally called.
“Let’s go!” I called back, my voice almost cracking.
I ran behind the playground and then towards some bushes. I crawled inside, branches ripped my arms and old leafs got stuck in my hair. Apparently all places in the park weren’t well-kept, and I had to avoid touching empty hamburger packages, beer cans, shattered glass and other trash lying in there. It wasn’t the nicest or most comfortable place, but I was out of sight.
As I sobbed I regretted I had run off and left Ally alone with them. I must probably have been the worst friend in the world. What if they had begun fighting?
To my relief, it wasn’t long before I heard Ally calling for me. I crawled out and waved at her, still on my knees, and she rushed over to me. “You can’t run away like that. Next time stay. You were there first and you didn’t want them to sit next to you. I have said this before; you have to learn how to stand up for yourself or they’ll never leave you alone.” She helped me to stand up and then brushed off leaves from my hair. “Come. Let’s go get some ice cream.”
The wide range of ice cream flavors made it hard to choose, but I had my safe picks; bubble gum, my favorite, strawberry, which I loved in all its forms, and then of course vanilla, which everyone liked. Ally picked chocolate, coffee and hazelnut. I frowned slightly at the coffee flavored one. Only adults liked the dark bitter thing, but Ally insisted it tasted much better as ice cream. Before I had a chance to say anything, she had shoved a spoonful in my mouth. Okay, it was better than I thought. But most ice cream was good regardless of flavor anyway.
On our way from and to the ice cream shop, I kept looking around but I didn’t seen Jenny and Stacy again. I didn’t worry too much what had happened at the bench, everyone knew I was a crybaby anyway and the ice cream certainly helped me cheer up. After I took the first licks of it, I got a brainfreze I expected Ally to giggle at the face I made, but she kept her eyes on the ground, deep in thoughts again. I hoped she would open up soon and tell me about the secret. I still wondered what Jenny had whispered to Stacy about Ally’s previous school. Even if Ally didn’t say she was expelled the rumor was interesting. It made me feel guilty to think about it though, and if it was true it was something she didn’t wanted to talk about.
We walked across the park and found a new bench. This one had an overlook of the pond. There were ducks, swimming rapidly, quacking at each other as they fought for a piece of bread someone had tossed at them from the other side of it. We watched them in silence, enjoying our ice creams for a while.
When I was half way through my ice cream and Ally had finished hers, she looked up and stretched her arms forward. “Okay. I think I’m ready to tell you the secret now. I know you’re supposed to whisper them, but this one is kind of long and there isn’t anyone close anyway, except for this stupid duck,” Ally gazed on a duck in front of us, probably begging for a piece of my ice cream cones. With an air kick from Ally, it jumped back, startled.
“That was mean,” I said, and broke a piece of mine to give it to the duck. Ally hadn’t actually kicked it but she had made the duck scared and I felt sorry for it.
“Stop or you’ll get them all over here,” she said and grabbed my arm, just as I was about throw the piece.
I drew my arm back. Even if I felt bad for the duck I didn’t want all of his friends to come here too. Right now I wanted to know about Ally’s secret and I didn’t want to be disturbed by quacking. “So the secret…”
“The secret have different parts. You know the first one already; I have to wear diapers to bed. I wasn’t really trying to hide it the first night actually. I wanted to talk about it then because I was sure that you were going to find out eventually anyway, but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up, and then when you didn’t mention it, I thought I maybe didn’t have to tell you after all. Then I came up with a plan last night. But before I can tell you that you need to know about the other parts of the secret too.”
“I’ve already know about this part too but you have said you didn’t believe me though. It was yesterday when you were angry and called me baby. I said Alexis put me in them, and that’s true. I don’t need them but she makes me wear them anyway.”
“Why would she do that?” I felt conflicted because I couldn’t believe Alexis would ever do something like that, but at the same time, Ally seemed serious too.
“First of all, because she is the worst meanie in the world,” Ally grumbled, clenching her fist. That wasn’t really enough of an answer and I had to know more before I could be sure Ally wasn’t making it all up.
“Why do you let her?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. “Can’t you tell your mom or dad about it?”
“No because if I do, she’ll tell them about something bad I did last year.” Ally kicked the top of her feet at the ground.
“This is another part of the secret. It’s something bad and I regret it really, really hard, and I can’t believe I did it,” Ally scrubbed her hand over her face. ”I’m a thief, Amber. Or I used to be one…”
I narrowed my brows. “Why? Did you steal something?”
She looked down. “Not just something; lots of stuff. It started with a few stickers I saw when mom and I were at the store. I really wanted them because a girl from my old school I used to play with had a bigger collection than me, but mom wouldn’t get them so I snuck them under my shirt when she didn’t see. I’d never felt more thrilled. My hearth beat so fast when we stood in the check-out line and then when we walked out I was almost trembling.”
“I did feel guilty about it afterwards, but that wasn’t the only time I’d take things. Soon, whenever I visited a store, I’d put something in my pocket or under my shirt every time. Toys, more stickers, candy, whatever I felt like and know I could easily get away with. It was thrilling to see how much you could take. It was an even better thrill than to go somewhere you’re not supposed to, like to the mill.” Ally smiled briefly and then sighed. “I stole things outside of stores too, like stuff from my friends or at school. I never really played or used the stuff; the fun part was always to take them.”
I felt a sticky sensation on my hand and realized I had forgotten about my ice cream. It had melted over down my jeans too. Not caring about the mess on my pants for now, I made it stop dripping by hurrying up to finish it as I continued to listen.
“It was when I took some money from my grandparents’ house it all stopped. They’re always so nice to me and I feel so bad about it.” Ally covered her face with her hands. “They didn’t found out I took it, but not soon after, I went to the mall with Alexis and bought a really expensive doll with the money I took. I think Alexis had already started to suspect something before that. The next day she had searched through my room and found the stash of my stolen stuff.” Ally removed her hands, she wasn’t crying but I hadn’t seen her closer to tears. “This wasn’t long after I had been expelled from my old school and…”
“So you were expelled?” I interrupted her.
“Right, I haven’t told you that. Yes I was, but I don’t want to talk about that too right now; it’s a different story.”
Ally took a deep breath before continuing. “Anyway, I was terrified when Alexis approached me with a box full of my stolen things and I couldn’t come up with an excuse to why I had them so I admitted and told her everything. And since Alexis knew that mom was still really, really, really angry with me from getting expelled, she offered not to tell her if I tried to turn back most of the stuff I’d stolen and then let her punish me instead of letting mom do it. I didn’t really have a choice: after I’d gotten expelled, mom had threatened me that she’d homeschool me if I got in trouble one more time.”
“So Alexis is making you wear diaper as a punishment for shoplifting?” I asked. Alexis had been kidding me the day before by saying that she was going to put me in diapers as a punishment, but then she had just laughed and said she’d never do that. I rubbed my chin. Maybe that’s why she found it so funny.
Ally nodded. “Yes, and every time she puts me in them at night, she reminds me that if I ever take them off before morning she’ll tell mom and dad everything. She is keeping a few items that I stole left as proof. She hasn’t been able to make me wear them under to school year because luckily she went to college but she did it all the time in the summer last year and two or three nights around Christmas.”
“I didn’t think she would continue this summer too but she is. I’ve been wearing them at night but sometimes also when mom and dad aren’t home she also makes me wear them during the day. I begged her not to do it when you were here, and she let me be diaper-free during the day but not during the night. I know I deserve some kind of punishment but I don’t think it’s fair that she is doing this for so long. She did it almost every night last summer. Making me wear a diaper under a skirt to the park was enough for me to learn my lesson…”
My eyes widen, starring at her. “Did she really do that?”
“Yea, and even if I think no one saw, I haven’t gone back here since today. I have learned my lesson and I will never steal something again. I don’t think it’s fair that she still punish me after this long, what do you think?”
“I don’t know…” There was a lot to take in so I looked up to the sky to think. It was cloudier now, but there were still some blue spots were the sun occasionally peeked out from. It did now and I closed my eyes, feeling its warmth before I came up with something to say. “It was really bad of you to shoplift and take all those things,” I started. “You should have been punished in some way, making you wear diapers is weird…”
Before I had the chance to say more, Ally began talking. “What’s weird is that I don’t think she just does it to punish me but also because she enjoys it making me wear diapers. She seems to be obsessed with them. When I was six and when Alexis babysat when our parents were away, like they almost always are,” Ally rolled her eyes, “we played pretended and she always wanted me to pretend to be a baby and she dressed me like one too and even put me in diapers that were left over from when I was little. I didn’t let her do it anymore after I turned seven, but she kept asking me to play that game with her over and over.” Ally rubbed her face with her palm. “And so last year, she finally managed to get me to wear them again.”
She paused and turned to look at me. “And now, you might freak out and I wasn’t going to tell you this so soon but I have realized we don’t have much time for my plan to work… Ok.” Ally leaned forward and spoke quieter: “I know she wants you to wear them too.”
I put my ice cream free hand (only a small part of the cone left) on my chest, “Me? What makes you think that? I haven’t done anything bad…”
“No, but that’s not it, didn’t you listen? I know it does sound pretty weird but she sort of likes diapers.”
“But how do you know she wants me to wear them too?” I asked, feeling my body tensing.
“I know she is making you wet the bed. She did it to me once, and mom was really close to make me go to the doctor, but then I woke up one night when she was setting up her stereo and realized it was Alexis who was making me do it. Mom didn’t believe it though but it kept Meanie out of my room at night.”
“Wait, how did she make you wet the bed?”
“She used those tricky, hypnotic relaxation tracks. She used them on you yesterday. I don’t know why she didn’t get them to work the first night, but she wanted it too then.”
“I did sleep uneasily that night. I woke from some kind of hammering sound, and I told you about the axeman. If this is true, couldn’t you have warned me?”
“I told you, I didn’t know she wanted you to wear them too.”
I shook my head. Was Alexis really that kind of person? “She already had a chance to put me in them last night when we fought. She made a joke and said my punishment for exposing your diaper was to put me in diapers too, but then she said she would never do that. If she wanted to she could have done so right then, so why didn’t she?”
“Listen, I have been thinking about it the whole night and the thing is; Alexis does not want to force you to wear them. I know that even if she’d really like doing so and probably does it all the time in her weird fantasies, she is smarter than to do it for real. She wouldn’t do it without your permission. Imagine the consequences. What would your parents say if you tell them she made you wear them all week? I think they would freak out and maybe even call the police. She might be sent to jail, and she is too cleverer to risk that.”
“So she wants you to ask to wear diapers first. That’s why she has been making you wet the bed. She wants you to say you need diapers for your bedwetting, and that’s a pretty big difference from forcing you in them. You have already thought of suggesting it to her, right?”
I nodded. “Yes, but also because I thought it would help you to feel better about it. And Ally, if you are making this all up just to get me to wear diapers together with you, you don’t have to. I can wear them if it makes you feel better, you don’t have to lie.”
“I’m not lying. Ok, so it seems that her plan has worked so far. You’ll suggest wearing diapers, she’ll put you in them and continue making you wet the bed until Friday I guess. So on Saturday morning you will wake up dry but you’re still going to be wearing them on Saturday night, just in case, but you won’t be wetting the bed then either. After that, you’ll be really thankful it has stopped and then you’ll probably not even tell your parents about it. And that’s her plan. She will have you in them for the rest of the week and get away with it.”
“Okay, but now when I know all this and tell her I don’t want to wear diapers, her plan will fail, right?
“That’s true, but I have a better idea. What if you let her go on with her plan instead? And with that we get back on her by the end of the week.”
“You mean I tell my parents about it afterwards?”
“Well, while I wouldn’t mind living without my sister for a while, I don’t really want to see her behind bars. It would just be weird. And what if people at school found out I had a sister in jail? No, I have a better idea than to send her there. You will threaten her that you’re going to tell your parents about it if she doesn’t stop doing it to me. So basically, we’re going to blackmail her to stop blackmailing me.”
“Oh…” I looked away. “I don’t know…”
“Please Amber. This is my chance to finally make her stop. We’re friends and friends are supposed to help each other. I have helped you stand up to bullies, and diapers aren’t that bad and you only have to be in them for one week to make me diaper free the whole summer.”
I had finished my ice cream and Ally took my hand in hers. “You know, if you help me with this I think we can call each other best friends.”
When she said best friends I felt how butterflies danced wildly in my tummy. Although I kind of assumed we were, she had never addressed us like that. I felt how she squeezed my hands and then I remembered that had almost already asked Alexis if I could wear diapers to help Ally feel better, but before this conversation I had no idea it could help her like this. I sort of chuckled and shook my head at that thought. “Alright… I’ll do it.”
“I knew I could count on you!” Ally hugged me tight.
After lunch when it was time for our nap, Alexi’s had embraced the idea of me supporting Ally by wearing diapers a little bit too inconspicuous. Or maybe that’s just how I saw it now when I knew it all, about how she wanted me to wear them, how weird as it had first sounded when Ally told me. I mean diapers. Why was Alexis so compelled to the idea to make us wear them? That thought had filled my mind as we were riding our bikes through the head-wind back from the park.
Before we came back to the house, I had come up with three different conclusions. The first one was that Alexis liked to be in control, and by making us somewhat resembling helpless babies made her fulfill that. Another assumption was that maybe she wanted to be a mother and have a baby to take care of. I used to like to play with those kinds of dolls when I was little. Some of them came with diapers too and they could wet them too if you let them drink. I always thought that was funny. Maybe Alexis still liked to play like that and wanted us to be her living dolls. It could also be simply what Ally had said, that Alexis just had a weird obsession with diapers.
I still couldn’t really understand why, but whatever the reason was, it was time to make her stop letting it out on her sister. It was ok to punish Ally for shoplifting but it wasn’t fair to let it go on forever for her own pleasure. Ally had learned her lesson now and it wasn’t OK to blackmail her like this. What was worse was that if Ally was telling the truth, Alexis was planning on getting me in diapers too. If I was right in my third conclusion, Alexis could go wear a stupid diaper herself.
We were getting our diapers on in Alexi’s room. Since Ally had leaked through her last one because she put it on herself, Alexis said she had to get them on for us. Ally was put in one first. When it was done she got up from the floor, pulled on her pants, walked over to me and gave me a smirk.
“Are you still sure about this?” Alexis asked, “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.” She was sitting on her knees, hands in her lap with the package of diapers along with a bottle of baby powder next to her.
“If it makes Ally feel better, I will,” I said. I had realized that I hadn’t that much of a choice than to let her put me in one, because if Ally was telling the truth, Alexis would use the hypnotic track again, so I did in fact need one if the couch or wherever I was napping on was going to stay dry. Well, I could of course refuse to wear them all week, and don’t care about waking up wet, because according to Ally the key point in Alexi’s plan was for me to ask her to wear them. I couldn’t call Alexis out on it yet, because I had only wet the bed twice, and it could be blamed on a coincidence and not that Alexis had made me do it. Ally and I didn’t know where she kept those tracks either.
Another reason I couldn’t back out from it was because Ally. What would she say if I didn’t want to help her? Maybe I hadn’t really thought it through I mean, Ally was good at fabricating all kinds of stories, and still I had accepted her plan with pretty much no hesitation because she said we were going to be best friends if I did. And if I didn’t, maybe we wouldn’t even stay regular friends.
Alexis picked up a diaper from the package, telling me how mature I was for supporting Ally like this and I couldn’t help to feel a little bad for not being honest to her to why I was doing it. Well, she was right in a way though, I was helping Ally. I still had a hard time grasping the fact that Alexis was actually evil and putting her in a bad spot made me feel, although unjustifiably, guilty for some reason. To me, Alexis had always been genuinely nice and someone I had looked up to. I had been pretty jealous of Ally to have a sister like her, but if Ally was telling me the truth, her sister did want me in diapers and that was indeed mean.
“Come here then,” Alexis patted on a double blanket that she had put on the floor to make it more comfortable, and began to unfold the diaper. “And take of your pants.”
Somehow I was nervous about the whole thing. My palms were sweating and kept wetting my lips. I couldn’t remember the last time I was put in a diaper or how it felt like wearing one. I pulled down my ice cream stained jeans and began to feel shy, but I had to ignore it and go on to pull my panties off too before lying down on the blanket.
Alexis lifted up my legs slightly, put the diaper under me and then got it on quickly and professional; I didn’t even sit up at for a while, thinking it couldn’t have been over so soon.
“There we go,” Alexis said, and began gathering the supplies.
The new thing I wore made it harder to move my legs together and it felt different to wear something so much thicker than regular underwear. It would definitely take some time getting used to, but I wouldn’t have to wear them for that long anyway. Every night and naptime for the rest of the week and that was it.
I began to wonder how Alexis was going to react when we stated the blackmail to her. How embarrassed she would feel over two nine year olds having out-smarted her. The thought made me smirk.
I sat up to and reached for my jeans, but Alexis grabbed them first. “I think these needs to be washed,” she said and picked them up from the floor. “Alright, I guess you’re all set for your nap. And ehrm… I’m going to make you sleep in different rooms. Else you’ll just stay up talking and forget to rest.”
Ally threw a glance at me and I knew that she knew that Alexis wanted to separate us to use the hypnotic tapes on me. For our plan to work we weren’t going to object it though. It seemed a bit strange that those tracks actually worked. I had heard that even the classic hand in water trick didn’t actually work, so it probably took a lot to make someone wet the bed.
“Do you want take yours on the couch again, Amber?” Alexis asked.
“Okay,” I shrugged.
I was wearing a diaper, had stained my clothes, and was now going to take a nap. Only thing missing was a pacifier and a pony-tail and everything was going to be like it was when I was little again, at least according to the photos of me from that time. Even if I didn’t have any clear memories of those years, I felt like a little toddler again. Maybe it could be fun to play pretend like that sometime. But I was unsure how Ally would feel about it.
The three of us left Alexi’s room and Ally went to hers. I was going to follow her and grab a new pair of pants when Alexi’s grabbed my arm. “You can’t sleep in the same room, remember?”
“I know. I was just getting some new pants.”
“Any other than your pajama pants will feel tight over that thing, and your pajama pants are still being washed. She moved her hand to my shoulder. “You don’t have to be afraid someone will see you. There is no one but us here.”
“She can borrow one of mine,” Ally came with a pair of hers. I thought I could make out an unsatisfactorily look in Alexis face, and a grin in Ally’s, and I thanked her for helping me out. I put them on and then I went downstairs and sat down in the couch.
Alexis followed with a pillow and gave it to me. “Do you want to sleep listening to the relaxation track again?”
Going on with Ally’s plan I said: “Sure.” I was going to pay attention to it this time to figure out what was making me wet the bed. Alexis drew the curtains over the windows before putting the disc in the player.
“Can you get Magnolia? I think she’s still in the guest room,” I said.
“My bunny,” I said. Mommy had helped me name her when I was little. Magnolia shared the color with the flowers of the three she was named after; she was mostly white but also had pink ears and cheeks.
Alexis went up and came back with her along with a glass of water that she placed on the living room table. I took Magnolia and held her close. I let my head rest on the pillow and tried to make myself as comfortable as I could in the couch while wearing my new thicker undergarment. I shifted over and over, the diaper crinkling as I did.
Alexis turned on the music player.
“Have a good nap,” she said, messing up my hair before she left.
The track started playing. It was a bit scary to know that it would make you do something unconsciously. I still wondered how it did it. Maybe the track made you sleep so hard you didn’t wake up to go to the bathroom. But how could it make you do that? There were certainly something peculiar in the background that I couldn’t really point my finger on.
As I was lying there, trying to figure it out, my eyes felt heavier and heavier, my breathing slower and slower. I could resist it and not fall asleep, but if I relaxed just slightly I got struck in the trance again. It didn’t matter, I told myself. Just go on with Ally’s plan. And then before I knew it, I was asleep.
*** ( – _-)^zzz ***
Thirsty, was the first my mind told me when I woke up again. I fumbled for the glass of water on the table and drank. When I put it back, I shook my head to wake myself up a bit more. Gotta pee, my bladder complained, and I instinctively crossed my legs but it was more difficult than usual, oh right, I was wearing a diaper.
I didn’t know how a diaper was supposed to feel when wet. The one I was wearing now didn’t feel that much different from when I had got it on, it only sat somewhat less tight, so I guessed it was still dry. The hypnotic track hadn’t worked after all. Perhaps they just didn’t work all the time. I really had to pee though, so I had to take it off and use the bathroom soon if I wanted to keep it that way. Or did I? According to Ally’s plan I should have woken up in a wet diaper now.
So what should I do next? Was it really that important to actually use the diapers, or was it enough to just say that Alexis made me wear them? I wasn’t sure so a trip to the plan deviser herself was necessary
I didn’t know how long I had been napping, but it always felt longer than it actually was. Hopefully, it was long enough to satisfy Alexis so that I could be able to wake up her sister if she hadn’t woke up from her nap yet. So I had to look for the babysitter first, but I couldn’t find her anywhere. I called for her twice without response. Then I heard the shower running upstairs. Aha.
I sat down on a step of the stairs and waited but not soon later, according to the status of my bladder, I wasn’t sure if I could hold it much longer. Eventually since the shower didn’t stop running, I didn’t have any other choices than to go to Ally’s room without asking if it was ok, take my diaper off and go to the bathroom downstairs, or use it. Since I wished I didn’t have to pee in it, I made up my mind quick and decided to go to the bathroom.
My bladder ached and my legs were almost shaking as I taped the diaper off in the bathroom downstairs. It wouldn’t have been much longer and I would have actually needed it. I let it drop down on the floor before sitting down on the toilet to relieve myself. Before going out I put it in the bin.
When I left the bathroom I didn’t hear the shower running anymore so I went up to ask Alexis if the nap was over. Upstairs, the door to Ally’s room was open and Alexis had gone in there to wake her sister up so apparently it was.
“Hi, Amber,” Alexis turned around as I came in. Ally sat up in her bed, rubbing her eyes, freshly awake.
“Hi,” I said.
“Had a good nap?” Alexis asked.
“It was refreshing,” I said. It was actually.
“Good. Uhm…“she looked down at my pajama pants. “You’re not wearing your diaper anymore.”
“No, I was only going to wear it while sleeping, like Ally does.”
“I know, but where did you put it?”
“In the bin in the bathroom downstairs,” I said.
“Alright,” Alexis walked over to me “Can I ask something?” she bent down.
“Was it dry?” she whispered.
“That’s great. I’m just checking because if there are wet diapers in the small bathroom downstairs it starts smelling in there.”
“Okay,” I said. Alexis smiled and messed up my hair before leaving the room.
“Are you stupid!?” Ally got up from bed, rushing over to me.
“You’re messing up the plan!”
“What do you mean?” I knew what she meant. I had to use the diapers too after all. “I didn’t think I had to pee in it.”
“The blackmail will be too weak if you don’t. Your parents won’t freak out enough if she only made you wear them without the wetting part, “Ally said and then shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” I said, looking down. She was probably right, but did it matter if I skipped once? “I’ll do it next time.”
Ally sighed. “Okay, well, I have an idea on how to make up for it.”
Apparently there was a wicked old woman living inside a cottage in the woods not far away from Ally’s house. She had a black cat, practiced magic and brewed peculiar potions with ingredients most of them too disturbing to mention. The main ingredient in one of her them was the blood of a human child. A rumor said that she had tried to kidnap many a children, and Ally told me that she had almost been caught once.
It had happened on Halloween last year. Since everyone was dressed up in outfits of the occasion, the witch had no trouble disguising herself, blending in among the trick or treating lot. One point during the night, she had met Ally. She had admired Ally’s costume, and then remarked on how undeservedly filled her candy bucket was for such a pretty girl like her. She had then proceeded to drop a handful of candy in it, but also offering her to follow her to her cottage where even more candies where waiting. Ally had licked her lips, nodded eagerly, and then carelessly skipping after the old lady into the woods.
She would tell me the rest of the story if we went there, and also how I could make up for not using the diaper before. And an hour after our nap, two hours afternoon, we were getting ready to go to the supposed witch and her cottage.
Before we left the house, Ally showed me a picture of her in one of her many books about supernatural things. On the next page there was a text explaining the witch’s powers and spells, and also how you could defend yourself against them. To prepare for our adventure, we educated ourselves through the book, Ally hung a chain with a cross around my neck and then we recited a protective rhyme from one of her other books.
We were ready.
In the woods, Ally treaded on top of moss covered rocks over a creek, checking the ones firm and non-slippery enough to walk on. I took a safer approach, taking off my sandals, pulling up my jeans a bit, ignoring the cold water on my feet and tip toed across it. After the creek, went a bit further until Ally suddenly stopped.
“There. There is where she took me that night,” Ally whispered, putting one hand out to stop me, the other to point between the trees.
“That doesn’t look like a cottage.” I whispered back, leaning sideways to get a better look. The witch’s resident didn’t quite appear as I had pictured it. It wasn’t on the ground but above, supported by pines, and had a ladder up to its entrance, thus more a tree house than a cottage.
“There’s where she lives anyway.” Ally crouched down. “She isn’t there now, but we still need to be careful.”
“Okay, but where is she then? And if she is gone, why do we have to be careful?”
“Didn’t you read the book? We’re close to the summer solstice so the witches have flown away on their brooms to the Witches’ Sabbath to meet with the Devil. That’s why we’re even venturing to go here now. And we have to be careful because she is most likely protecting this place with a spell of some sort.”
“Wasn’t the Sabbath on the Maundy Thursday during the Easter?”
“They have other meetings too. The reason they’re having a gathering now is because the magic is strongest during the solstice, so it’s an excellent occasion for them to show off their new tricks to each other. Let’s see if she left something interesting in there.” Ally sneaked forward with me following, and in silence we crept towards the house.
“I think we’re safe,” Ally said when we were at the ladder. “Let’s go up.”
Inside the one room tree house there wasn’t much to see; a table with two chairs. It was untidy. The floor was filled with old leafs and fur needles and there was a spider web in one of the corner. It was no way a house suitable for anyone to live in. “Does the witch really live here?” I asked.
“Not all the time,” Ally said, sitting down on one of the chairs.
“Where does she sleep?” I asked, looking around the small room. It couldn’t be comfortable to do so up there, and bugs might even crawl up through the window. I wrinkled my nose at the thought of one climbing up my leg and brushed my jeans just to be sure no one was.
“Witches don’t need to rest,” Ally said. “On the day, they’re regular old ladies, living normal lives. The witch, who almost caught me once, goes her to brew her potions or do other kinds of magic.”
“Where does she make the potions?”
“On this table,” Ally patted her finger on it. “She must have taken everything with her when she left because it didn’t look like this when she took me here.”
“Tell me what happened that night,” I said, sitting down on the other chair.
“Okay. So I followed her here and…” Ally suddenly froze. Her body seemed to go stiff. She fell out of her chair with her hands along the side of her body. “Amber…” she called my name feebly.
I got off my chair a sat down next to her. “What happened?” A strike of worry hit me, thinking she might have gotten ill somehow.
“The witch… her curse… It’s… going to turn me into stone if you don’t act quickly,” Ally spoke hoarsely, like she had something stuck in her throat. She was lying almost motionless on the floor with her gaze was fixed on the roof.
“Is there a way to repeal it?”
“There is. Collect seven kinds of flowers, and hurry.”
It wouldn’t be easy to find a total of seven different ones but I had to if Ally wasn’t going to turn into stone. Before we climbed up to the tree house I had seen some buttercups growing not too far away from the house. I ran over there and picked a few. Next I found some daisies, bluebells, a red flower I didn’t know the name of and a white flower from a plant of sweet tasting wild strawberries. Climbing over a fallen tree I found a bush with some magenta colored flowers, and as with the red one I wasn’t sure what they were called.
I struggled to find the last flower. I had seen some dandelions on our way here, but I didn’t dare to go too far away from the tree house because I wasn’t sure of the way back. Another reason for not picking up those flowers was because I had heard they could make you wet the bed. I hoped some leafs from the wild strawberry plan would do and made my way back to the tree house.
“Good,” Ally said when I came up with my bouquet of flowers. “Now remove their petals and spread them over me.”
I put the petals all around her body and after a moment she could magically move again. “Thanks. I hope the witch doesn’t keep any other protective spells around here.”
“So what really happened the night when she kidnapped you?” I asked.
“I don’t remember everything. I know she took me here, but in the next moment I was home in my bed waking up the next morning.”
“So it might have been a nightmare?”
“No, it did happen. My memory is foggy as with most people after they have encountered these kinds of things. The witch must have thrown a forgetting-spell on me or something.” Ally sat up, brushing off some of the petals from her body. “Hey, I have something to show you. There is a secret in this house.” Ally bent down to sweep off some fir needles and leafs next to a corner of the room. She pointed on the lowest board of the wall. Someone had carved something there. I looked close and it said; Alexis and Evan with a hearth around their names. Ally giggled.
“So they are girl and boy friends?”
“Nope,” Ally giggled some more. “They were when they did this anyway. It must have been years ago.”
“They’re still friends, right?”
“Yea, I know Alexis still likes him, because when I tease her about it, she always blushes.” Ally smirked “Do you have a crush?”
“Not really…” Except for one I used to play with back in pre-school I didn’t have so much contact with boys. We had said that we were going to get married one day, but then he had moved away just after I turned five and I hadn’t seen him since.
“Come on, you must have. Is it someone in school? I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”
“The ones in our school are too annoying, especially Viktor. He keeps stealing stuff from my pencil-case. And when no one sees, he throws them on me.”
“It’s because he likes you, silly” Ally snickered. “Ok. I promised to tell mine if you told me yours… I knew it’s a bit weird, you see, I have a crush on Brain.”
“You don’t mean Brian the teacher, right?”
“He’s a substitute teacher to be correct. And yes, I know that even if he’s younger than most teachers I can’t be his girlfriend because that would be too weird, but if I was Alexi’s age I would try to get him. Haven’t you noticed that I ask for help a little too often when he’s in the classroom?”
“No…” I shook my head, and then we both giggled.
For a moment, we sat in the tree house in silence, listening to the wind that rustled the leaves outside, each one in their own thoughts. The clouds had gotten thicker since we were at the park in the morning, and they hinted of rain.
I could feel how much our friendship had grown in the last few days. A year ago I wouldn’t believe that I would be playing and sharing secrets with someone. Ally and I were almost best friends now and it felt amazing. The only thing left was to help her to get back on her sister. And how silly as it might have sounded I was going to do so by wearing diapers. It wasn’t that bad to wear one. Although I hadn’t wet one, it couldn’t be that bad either.
“How am I going to make up for not using the diaper before?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“I have an idea. And actually, I think it’s necessary for a plan to even work at all,” Ally said, brushing off the last flower petals from her hair.
“I really want to help you stop her.”
Ally looked at me for a moment. “Promise me to not freak out. If you really want to help me and for the plan to be fail-safe you have to do one more thing.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Good. The thing is, I’m not entirely sure that she’ll have to go to jail for just putting you in them at night. She could just claim she did it because you wet the bed, and even if you said she made you do it she would probably get away it. If you wore them during the day too, it would be a different story.”
My eyes went wide as she said that. “B-but… Don’t you think she’s too smart to risk that?”
“Her temptation to get you in diapers is stronger than you think. I know it is weird and all, but if she had the chance she would take it.”
“But it’s different from wearing them at night, because then I wear them to help you. There is no reason for me to wear them during the day, because you don’t, right?”
“No. You’re forgetting that you’re also wearing them because you wet the bed twice. If you would start doing so during the day too, like you did it yesterday in Evan’s car, and that was a good start, I think we have our reason.”
“I don’t know…”
“Don’t you want to help me?”
“You only have to wear them for a week; I’ll have to be in them the whole summer if you don’t help me. I told you she’ll make me wear them during the day too as soon as you go home, right? Please, Amber.”
“I want to help you, I really do, but I’m not sure if it’ll work. What if she suspects that I’m faking it?”
Ally rubbed her chin for a moment. “Remember, she really wants you to in them, so she might look pass the probability for you to suddenly start needing diapers during the day too. Tell her you’re feeling stressed-out, that you’re missing your parents or just try to come up with something. Maybe she thinks the hypnotic tapes worked a little too well.”
I knew that I didn’t really have a choice if wanted to become Ally’s best friend.
”There you are!” Alexis bellowing voice made Ally and I jump as we came back from the woods, entering the house.
“Do you have any idea what time it is? Look!” she pointed at the watch in the hall “I told you to be back by six and it’s nearly eight! Dinner is cold and I have been worried sick. I was just about to call Evan to start looking for you. One more hour and the police might even have gotten involved.” She let out an exasperated sigh, clenched her first and shook her head. “Do you think I’ll let you go out alone again after this?”
“We’re sorry…” Ally said, reaching her arm around me, not trying to back talk her sister this time. The arguments would of course lead nowhere, but it was unusual for her to let a scolding go undisputed. There were always reasons to go somewhere you couldn’t or stay out later than you were supposed to. I mean, did Alexis know how many spells the witch had cast on her sister during our adventures in the woods? That we had taken the wrong path and gotten lost, or had she forgotten that I was only staying here for a week, so why was she such a meanie and didn’t let us have some fun when we had the chance? A retort from Ally was almost always present in a situation like this, but not this time. The reason she didn’t care to argue right now was because something else was more important to convey; my wet pants.
Ally let me go and took a step to the side. When Alexis saw my pants her face lost its frown and softened along with her voice. “Oh…”
“I’m sorry,” I said, hanging my head low, staring down at my feet.
“Don’t be sorry. It… it wasn’t your fault.” That wasn’t true for once. It had taken a lot of effort to do it. But with concentration, self-discipline, deep breaths and finally a little help from Ally’s tickles, I had managed to pee with my pants still on. Ally had also prompted me to summon tears to make the accident seem more authentic. Being the feeble crybaby I was it was something of a natural talent I had.
So there I stood in the hall with red puffed eyes and wet pants, knowing that I soon might have to wear diapers for the rest of the week, if the plan worked out that was. I had my doubts.
“It’ll be alright. Just go up and get changed and come down for dinner afterwards.”
I walked up the stairs, and Alexis went back to scolding her sister. Not harsh but clearly disappointed. Ally defended herself telling her about how we had gotten lost. We had actually. Not much, but we didn’t take any shortcuts on the way back so to say. I didn’t know the way around the woods and when I wondered why we hadn’t come back to our bikes yet, Ally told me that the witch must have been fiddling with the path.
Upside in Ally’s room, I searched through my bag and found out that there was only one pair of pants left. The rest of them were still drying downstairs. I pulled down my wet ones and let them lay on the floor for now. As I pulled up my new pants, I heard someone approaching the door. Alexis came in. “Hey…” She walked past me and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Ally told me she thinks you aren’t feeling alright.”
I didn’t know what to say at first and just stood there, nodding slowly. According to the plan I was going to tell Alexis about how I was stressed out, but I wasn’t sure on how to begin. I wasn’t as good at making things up as Ally was.
“Like I said the other night; you can always come to me if something is wrong,” Alexis said gently, patting with her hand next to her on the bed.
I walked over there and sat down with my arms close to my body. Alexis moved in nearer. “What’s troubling you?” she asked.
“I miss home…” I said, meekly. A good start because at least it was partly true. I had told her that yesterday too. “I’ve never stayed this long from my parents before.” Another truth; I hadn’t actually. It wasn’t really troubling me though.
“I see. I think homesickness gets worse if you aren’t feeling alright at the foreign place too, so is there something else that’s bothering you? How’s it with Ally? Are you two getting along?”
“I guess so.” I shrugged. “We’re having fun and all.”
“That’s nice to hear. I know she can be a bit too much sometimes. If you ever feel like being by yourself for a while, just tell me.”
Sometimes it was nice to be alone after you had been spending a lot of time with others and I did miss the solitude in my own room a little bit. However, I had had some alone-time the day before when Ally was grounded so I didn’t really need it now.
“If there isn’t any problem with Ally, is there something else?”
It could be that she wanted to have me in diapers, but I couldn’t say that of course. I couldn’t come up with anything else, and although Ally had told me lots of things to say, I couldn’t recall them. “I don’t know,” I said after a while. It did a better job than I thought because Alexis seemed to be more concerned.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you before. I heard you two got lost in the woods on your way home. You must have felt scared then.”
“A little bit.”
“Next time I’m going to lend one you my phone so you can call if something happens,” she said. I didn’t look up but I was sure she was glancing over at my wet pants on the floor because then she said: “I’m not blaming you for the accident but if you had to pee, why didn’t you do so in the woods? No one would have seen you there.”
“I didn’t know I had to go until it was too late,” I said, biting my lip.
“It was probably just a onetime thing.” She paused probably remembering that it wasn’t “Don’t worry.” She rubbed my back and then kept a thoughtful expression.
Ok, now was the time for one of Ally’s other clever ideas. I hadn’t completely emptied my bladder before we went into the house, just enough to leave a visible spot on my pants. This because then I could have two accidents, emphasizing my need for diapers. I took a breath, closed my eyes and relaxed. As I had been holding it in, it was easier this time. I gasped as the seat of my new pants began to get wet.
“Amber!” Alexis exclaimed and sprang up from the bed.
A small round spot grew on the covers. I summoned my tears, covered my face with my hands and sniffed. “I… I didn’t know.”
“Shhh.. it’s okay. Oh, you poor thing,” Alexis sat down and rubbed my back again. “How are you feeling really?”
“I don’t know…” I shook my head.
She pulled me in for a sideway hug and rubbed my arm. How could someone so sympathetic want to do something so mean to me? It was hard to believe that she had made me wet the bed with those hypnotic tracks to get me in diapers. But Ally had seemed so serious when she told me about the blackmail. Was there something I could ask Alexis to find out about the truth? I thought for a moment and then asked: “How long has Ally been wetting the bed?”
Alexis seemed taken aback by the question and didn’t answer right away, like she didn’t know, or was it because she didn’t expect the question to be asked? “Ever since she was little, so about nine years I guess, why?”
“Nothing… Or I was wondering if you could suddenly start doing it; like I seem have.”
“It’s possible, but in your case I think it’s only temporarily. Well, Ally will probably grow out of it too one day. Does it hurt anywhere when you pee? You don’t feel different, like more tired or dizzy?”
“No…” It did sting a little, but it was probably because I had been in my wet pants for a while.
“That’s good. It’s probably not anything physical then. I think you’re being a bit stressed-out right now, that’s all.”
Then I finally recalled something Ally had told me to say. “After I had the accident in Evan’s car yesterday it have felt like I always have to pee and I can’t tell if I really have to. I don’t know if you noticed but I ran to the bathroom a lot of times yesterday just to be sure I wouldn’t wet my pants again.”
“As I said, don’t worry too much about it.” She got up from bed and began searching through my bag, which had run out of them. “I guess you can borrow a pair of pants from Ally for now.”
“What if I wet those too? Ally would never want to wear them again.”
“I doesn’t really matter, she have enough pants as it is. Actually, I think she might have a pair of my old ones in here.” Alexis walked over to Ally’s drawer.
“What if I…” my palms sweated and my heart began pounding faster.
“What?” Alexis had found a pair pants, and turned back to me.
“What if I wore one of Ally’s diapers under them just in case?” I blurted out.
“Umh..” Alexis almost dropped the pants, fumbled and caught them again. “Are you sure?”
“I don’t know. It was just an idea…”
“It’s very mature of you to consider it, but do you think it’s really needed?”
I shrugged, looking down at my wet pants. “Maybe not, but I don’t want to risk ruining Ally’s pants.” Didn’t she want me in diapers? Here was her chance. Why didn’t she take it? Was Ally lying after all? Or did Alexis not want to risk it? Whatever was real, I know that if I didn’t get into diapers Ally wouldn’t be my best friend. If I didn’t maybe she’d find someone else who was ready to do it for her, and then I might end up being alone again.
“Okay. Go to my room and wait for me while I take your wet pants.” Alexis bent down to pick up my other wet pants from the floor. “Wait.” She took a blanket from under Ally’s bed. “Give me those pants too. You can cover yourself with this.” She threw me the blanket.
I did as she said and pulled off my other pair of wet pants that night, covering myself in the blanket before going to Alexi’s room. If Ally really was wetting the bed, why were the diapers kept there? Wouldn’t the bathroom be a more natural place? Or was Ally telling the truth? Did Alexis keep the diaper in her room to hide them from her parents? I had to stop worrying about this because it didn’t matter. If I wanted to be Ally’s best friend I had to wear diapers whether it was true or not.
Alexis came in to her room, scratched behind her neck before going to her wardrobe where the diapers was kept. Or hidden were they? “Are you still sure about this?”
“I would feel less stressed if I didn’t have to worry about wetting my pants all the time. I’ll still try to go to the bathroom if I feel I need to.”
Alexis looked at me up and down. For one moment I thought she was going to say; “Okay Amber. I can tell you aren’t someone who is used to lying. You wet your pants on purpose, didn’t you?” I froze stiff. Could she see right through me? The plan wouldn’t work, I knew it. But then she said: “It would be more practical if you wore pull-ups then. Unfortunately, since Ally is only wetting the bed we only have night time diapers here. They’re rather thick and indiscreet.” She took out her diaper bag from the wardrobe.
“It’s ok.” I said.
She let me lay down on the blanket I covered myself and got the diaper on as quickly as last time. After it was over Alexis gave me Ally’s jeans. I stepped in them and pulled them up. They fit over the diaper but you could see it bulge from under them and I couldn’t quite hide the rim either. A skirt or something would have been better. Not that it mattered. Ally expected to see me in a diaper anyway and there were no one else here. I wondered about what would happen if we were going out of the house again. Ally wouldn’t make me go out like this, would she? My tummy growled and I decided to stop worrying about it and go down and have some dinner.
Walking down the stairs to the kitchen was funny. I couldn’t go as fast and the diaper kept on reminding me of its presence by crinkling slightly with each step. It made me have to keep my legs spread as well.
When we came down, Alexis called her sister into the kitchen.
Ally came rushing from the living room and when she saw me she stopped so fast she almost lost her balance. “Does Amber have to wear diapers?!” she wondered, raising her brows high.
“She wanted to and it’s just for now. You’ll be getting a diaper on too soon.”
“I know. You don’t have to remind me, you meanie—I mean my kind sister.”
Alexis sighed and went to heat our dinner, lasagna, in the microwave oven. Ally came close, leaned in close to my ear and whispered; “Good job.”
Alexis was finally seeing some progress with her established good and bad girl-jar dynamics. After hearing that a surprise was waiting for the one who got the most marbles in the good girl jar by the end of the week, Ally was quick to offer her help in doing the dishes after dinner. She looked up at the shelf in the kitchen where the jars stood. Her bad girl-jar had five marbles in it (she had gotten one for coming home late from the woods) and then over to mine, which had only one. “I can do it by myself,” she said, to rid me of an opportunity to earn one too.
“One can do the washing while the other one does the drying,” Alexis said, handing me a washcloth.
“But Amber says she wants to let me catch up a little, right Amber?”
I hadn’t said anything and even if doing the dishes was routine after dinner at home, making it a pretty easy marble to earn, I figured I could afford to skip once. So I put the washcloth next to the kitchen sink and nodded. I thought it was a little weird they didn’t use the washing machine. Maybe it just was broken.
“Okay then,” Alexis said. “So while Ally does this, do you want to go watch Tv or something?”
“Sure,” I said.
“Okay, but let me help you get on the right channel this time.”
I followed Alexis to the living room. In there, instead of picking up the remote, she sat down on the couch and patted next to her. “Can you sit here for a minute? We need to talk again.”
The grave tone of her voice made my heath stop for a second and I swallowed before sitting down next to her. I could get so terribly anxious at times, especially when I was hiding a secret like now, or when I thought I had done something wrong. Worrying about what I had done now, I shifted around and couldn’t figure out where to keep my arms. In the end I crossed them, but evidently I hadn’t done a good job at hiding my nervousness.
“Relax. I am not and I don’t think that I could ever get angry at you. But I have something important to ask.” She tried to get eye contact but I kept my eyes at my feet. ”Amber, can you answer me honestly, did you really have an accident on Ally’s bed earlier, or was it on purpose?”
My bottom lip quivered as I tried to open my mouth and say “no”, but looking up at Alexis, I couldn’t utter a word. I knew it had gone too easy. My accident must have been to unconvincing. Maybe she wanted me in diapers but she must have realized that it would be too risky to let me wear them during the day if there wasn’t a good reason for it. She was content with it only being at night and she knew that she would keep Ally in them all the time after I went home. Our plan wouldn’t work and now I had to come up with something to save it. I heard the water running in the kitchen where Ally was doing the dishes. What would she say in a situation like this?
At last, my voice didn’t fail me and I asked; “Why would I do that? “
“Look, I hate to distrust you, but I don’t think your accident was an accident. What I’m saying is, it wasn’t involuntary, am I right”
What would Ally say? What would Ally say? “No, it was accident. Do you think I’m lying?” I asked, as confidently as I could.
“Amber… Are you really being honest now? I didn’t want to worry you earlier but if you are really telling me the truth, and although you said you aren’t in any physical pain, I’m going to need to call your parents and maybe take you to a doctor.”
If the plan was a balloon it would have popped now, or at the very least being just at the bursting point. The mentioning of doctors made it feel like a truck had decided to park on my chest and my tummy filled with ice instead of lasagna. I couldn’t say it was an accident now. I tried desperately trying to come up with something to say. Could I ask her to wait to tell my parents until they would return? No, she would defiantly call them, and what if she took me to a health center!? Although mommy was working as a nurse, doctors terrified me and what would they say when they found out that there was nothing wrong with me? And then, how would I explain I was a diaper? My hands felt sticky out of sweat as I desperately tried to find a way to save the plan. But then, not knowing how I could explain myself, all I could do was to shake my head as I felt glistering tears building up in my eyes.
“Hey… Look, I’m not angry at you. Whatever the reason is, I’m sure you meant nothing bad.”
There was still this nagging thought that Ally could have made it all up. However, like I had realized earlier, I had to do this for her anyway to get to be her best friend. And what about the hypnotic tracks Alexis made me listen too? And she did put a bed matt under me, and she kept the diapers, sneakily in her room, out of sight of her parents. So Ally was probably telling the truth. I felt like yelling at Alexis, telling her how mean it was to blackmail her sister and what a weirdo she was for liking to make people wear diapers. Then a thought struck me, and a light bulb was figuratively lighten up hovering over my head. If Alexis liked diapers why couldn’t I do it too? At least pretend I did. A back-up plan formed inside my head and I knew exactly what to say. “I kind of like diapers…”
Another sign that Ally might not have made it all up was that Alexis didn’t appear totally baffled out about the idea of someone liking them. Instead she just looked at me, rubbing her chin pensively for a moment before she asked: “What do you mean?”
There was something even worse than being anxious in a situation like this. I had a bad habit of having the itch to laugh when someone was comforting me with a wrongdoing or having a serious talk with me. Obviously, it was inappropriate to do so and it could get me in trouble even if I hadn’t done anything wrong. As I sat next to Alexis and thought about how silly it was to like diapers and how clever my back-up plan was, I felt how the muscles in my stomach contracted and I had to stop myself from snickering.
I squirmed around, making the thing I was wearing crinkle, and then I had to bit my lip hard not to burst into laughter. “Uhm.. I know it’s weird, but I have always been curious about wearing one, and they’re soft and for some reason I feel safe while wearing one.” That was actually kind of true, but it was uncomfortable to be in one too as I couldn’t move my legs as freely. Alexis didn’t say anything so I had a chance to take a breath to retain my giggles before continuing. “I know I you let me wear them to bed to make Ally feel better. But when I got to wear one to nap time today I realized how much I really liked them, and then I figured, since I’m only staying here for a week and want to wear them as much as I can, I tried to make you let me wear them during the day too.”
“Oh…” Alexis scratched her head, taking it all in. “Actually, I think it’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their little quirks. But you shouldn’t have lied to me.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I know it’s weird, but I have always wanted to try wearing diapers for some reason. And I lied to you because I didn’t want Ally to know that I liked them. Please don’t say anything to her.” I wondered how long we have been talking, but the water was still running in the kitchen with the occasionally sound of plates and glasses clinking so I still had some time left to save the plan. “Uhmm..” I looked up at Alexis.
“Do I have to take it off now?”
“They aren’t reusable so you could just as well keep it for now. And if Ally thinks you need them, I guess it won’t make sense to her if you took it off.”
It was just what I was going to say and I nodded. Then she said something that could ruin the back-up plan.
“It won’t be very practical for you to wear a diaper all week so keep it dry so Ally will think you won’t need them anymore. And…” Alexis was about to say something more but just then the water stopped running in the kitchen and Ally came dashing to the living room, jumping in the couch, and landing on her tummy in her sister’s lap.
“I did all the dishes. Can I have a marble now?” she asked.
“You’ll get one, but no begging for them. I give them as I see fit.” Alexis tickled her sister off her lap and stood up. “Okay so it’s thirty minutes before bedtime.” She picked up the remote and turned on Disney channel before walking out of the living room. I watched as she left wondering what she had been about to say.
Luckily Ally didn’t remark on why the Tv had been off when she came in. As we watched a cartoon about a secret-agent teen age girl, the big glass of orange juice I had for dinner seemed to have quickly made its way through me. When thirty minutes had passed, and the show was over, I had to pee quite badly, and I was trapped in yet another struggle. Just as I had woken up desperately to use the bathroom after naptime, I wasn’t sure if I should use my diaper or not. Alexis had told me to try getting out of diapers and what would she say if I peed in it? But what would Ally say if I didn’t? I was between a rock and a hard place.
Alexis called from upstairs, saying it was time for bed. Ally turned off the Tv, and got off the couch. I followed her up. She told me to wait in her room while she went to the bathroom. I did and Alexis was there with two diapers and a bottle of baby oil. She didn’t say anything and I didn’t come up with anything to say to her either. I hadn’t made a decision whether to use my diaper or not yet. Maybe I could tell her I had been curious to feel how it’s like peeing in a diaper too. Could I get weirder in her eyes right now? Maybe not and she had said that she wanted me to stay dry so was a chance that not using the diaper was the best option. I could consult Ally afterwards and tell her about what Alexis had said to me, and ask her how to save the plan. Or would she be dissatisfied like last time?
The door opened and the younger of the sisters came into her room. She routinely laid down for her elder sister to be put in a diaper.
“Amber?” Alexis snapped me out of my internal struggles. “Do you need to go to the bathroom?”
My bladder was aching and I hadn’t realized that I had been fidgeting a bit to hold myself. “Uh..” I shot a glance at Ally who gazed at me. For a moment I was about to let go right there, but then I looked back at Alexis and thought it would be best not to, and explain everything to Ally later. “Yes. I’ll be right back.”
In the bathroom, just like after the nap, I taped off my dry diaper and let it fall down on the bathroom floor before sitting down on the toilet to relieve myself. I proceeded to roll it up and put it in the bin, and then washed my hands before getting my tooth brush.
With a fresh taste of mint in my mouth, I made my way back to Ally’s room and when I came in, I saw her standing on her bed, wearing a baby pink nightdress with violet trims and a ruby ribbon below the collar. I hadn’t seen it before. It was pretty short so it didn’t quite hide her diaper. With one hand on the said of her waist, and the other one holding her teddy, she glared at me. I would explain everything as soon as Alexis would leave the room.
The said person was folding out the other diaper she had brought and patted for me to lay down on the floor. “I brought your pajama pants,” Alexis said when she fastened the last tape. I stood up, looked around and found my pajama set on the floor. I put it on. The pants sat tight over my diaper and I wished I had newer pajamas, because I must have looked like oversized toddler.
“Goodnight girls.” Alexis left the room, and Ally and I looked at each other waiting for her to get out of earshot.
“You…” Ally narrowed her eyes. “Are the most hopeless and stupidest friend ever!”
“Let me explain…” I started.
“You don’t have to explain anything. I know you don’t like me enough to help me. And thanks to this I have to be in diapers for the rest of the summer and the next and the next and maybe forever!”
Ally jumped off her bed with a hard stomp, and then I was blinded by a white flash. A second later there was a thunderous roar. Still blinded I took step back, but then, I tripped on something and fell down on my cushioned butt. There was a ringing in my ear, and I screamed. The world had ended. Or so I thought for a moment, until I realized it was just the lightening and the start of the storm.
The window swung back and forth and the curtains flew wildly about. Another flash lit up the room and was followed by another scary rumble. The walls creaked and then the window flew up and a few of the stuffed animals sitting on the wide windowsill fell down on the floor. But all the same, Ally stood unperturbed by the storm, keeping her eyes at me on the floor. There was a flash in her eye, not unlike the ones outside. She shook her head, sighing. Then she spun around and headed for the open window.
The week at Ally’s place hadn’t exactly turned out the way I imagined it to be. Running into trouble like staying out late or going to forbidden places was prone to happen while being with Ally. But I didn’t know I was going to find myself I the middle of a conflict where I could be the hero and fulfill my lifelong wish, to get a best friend, if only I didn’t mess things up—which I tended to do. And that had to change.
It was stupid to not use my last diaper. Even if Alexis knew that I didn’t need them, she also thought that Ally assumed I did. And if I used the diapers as if I had a problem, what would Alexis tell her sister? If she said I didn’t need them she would have to reveal my ‘secret’, which she promised not to, so she’d have no other choice than to let me wear them. Most likely she’d have another talk with me, but I didn’t have to worry about that yet.
I got to my feet, brushed a hair strand off my face and saw that Ally had climbed up the windowsill. The window was still open and she was staring down at her back yard about twenty feet below. She had a determined look on her face. Over what, I didn’t know, but there was a creeping feeling inside me. Was she going to jump? My heart stopped. Maybe life wasn’t worth living if you had to spend the rest of your summers in diapers, had the meanest sister in the world and a friend who didn’t care to help you out. No, she wouldn’t do that, and our plan hadn’t failed yet. I was about to tell her about my new plan when she took another step and leaned forward. I gasped. But she was simply reaching out her hand to pull in the window. And it was just in time because then the rain hit it, hard.
The windowsill was wide enough to sit on and Ally sank down and leaned her back against the frame. She turned her head and was captivated by the elements outside. From time to time the room was lit up by the lighting. The thunders were less powerful than the first ones though each time it stroke it was like something froze inside me. A night like this my parents would’ve let me sleep in their bed. I wondered if Ally would let me sleep in hers after what I had done or that I should march to the guest room right away.
Ally slipped down from the windowsill. “Maybe you need more convincing,” she said, walking to her desk.
“I thought maybe you don’t believe me. You don’t think that Alexis is really doing all this to me.” Ally picked up a pencil case on her desk, opened it and took out a small item. I couldn’t see what it was but it I saw it glimmer for a second, so perhaps it was made out of metal. “Wait until you see this.” She walked over to a cabinet with a lock and inserted the metal thing in the keyhole. “I had to hide them from her. Else she’d make me use them too.” She turned the key around, and when the lock clicked she opened the top drawer and took out a small plastic box. “Here.” Ally tossed me it.
I caught the box and the things inside it clattered. My brows rose once I opened the lid. In the box I found two baby pacifiers. They were cute little things. One of them with a clip attached.
“I hid those two but sure she have gotten new ones by now,” Ally said. “She has other stuff too, like sippy cups, bottles with teats, plastic plates and spoons I have to eat baby food from, and also rattles and other baby toys she makes me play with. Oh, and all the clothes I have to dress up in.” Ally walked over to her dresser and opened the bottom drawer. “She actually gave me this one for Christmas and my parents didn’t think anything of it.” The baby outfit was an overall with feet –A footed pajamas. Embarrassingly enough, it looked at least as babyish as mine except for the feet.
“Yeah, I know,” Ally said. “She’s weird.”
“I want to help you,” I said. “I just ran into some problems…” I told Ally what Alexis had confronted me with earlier, apologized for not using the diaper and then how we could fix the plan.
Ally nodded and put the footed pajamas back in the drawer. “I have another idea too. But it can wait until tomorrow… What are you doing?”
I hadn’t given it much thought but as I was talking with Ally I had picked up the pacifiers with the clip on. Putting my index finger inside the band with the clip, I spun it around absently. I was actually curious about placing it in my mouth, but with regards to Ally I didn’t. “N-nothing.” I put it back at once.
“They’re clean, so try it out if you want,” Ally said, as I was about to close to lid of the pacifier box.
“No, I’m fine.”
“I want to see how it looks on you. To see how much of a baby I must look when she is making me use it. I refuse to look at myself in the mirror when she does.”
“Okay.” I took it out again. It really was a cute little thing. I put it in my mouth and felt the teat on my tongue, almost making me suck it involuntary.
“Aww, cutie.” Ally cooed. “No, keep it in.” She put a hand up to stop me from taking it out. “You are going to sleep with it.”
I took it out to speak. “Why?”
“You need some kind of punishment for not using your diaper earlier.”
“You’re almost sounding like your sister.”
“No she’d blackmail you—that’s much worse. I’m just giving you a taste of how it’s going to be like for me if you don’t help me out.”
“Okay.” I popped it back in. This time I dared to suck on it and Ally giggled at that.
“Let me get the clip on.” Ally fastened it on my pajama top. “There. Now baby won’t lose it.” Ally giggled again but then her face turned serious. “Sorry, that’s just what Alexis always says. I know it isn’t fun.”
I popped the pacifier out and the band caught it. “It’s okay. It’s like playing pretend. But I know that when she does it with you, you don’t really want to.”
Ally stretched her hand in the air and yawned. “Yeah. I’m sleepy now.” She went over to her bookshelf and ran her finger along the back of her books. “Uhmm… There it is.” She stopped at one and took it out. The cover was in some kind of dark creepy grassy color, the title on it had faded and the pages looked yellowish. “Did you know I found it in the mill? And it doesn’t count as stealing since no one owned it.”
“What’s it about?” I asked, as I went to my bag to get a book myself.
“I’m not sure –I haven’t gotten that far yet. It’s pretty weird. I hope it’s going to be about ghosts. It looks like it could be.” Ally climbed up in her bed, turned on her bedside lamp, leaned back on her pillow and opened the old book. I did pretty much the same.
In the book I was reading it was much easier to get a best friend or a ‘bosom friend’ as they called it. You simply walked over to your neighbor’s house where a girl your age lived and asked if she wanted to. It was an old book. Even grandma had read it when she was little, and things were probably simpler then.
“Remember…” Ally said, moving her hand from the middle of her chest to her mouth.
“Oh, right.” I put my pacifier in before I opened the book.
It wasn’t thundering anymore but the rain still drummed on the roof, cozily. I read two or three chapters and then I heard how Ally was breathing heavily next to me with the creepy book on her chest. I lifted it off, careful not to wake her, and put it on her nightstand. Then I helped her get under the covers and whispered ‘goodnight’ before turning the lights off.
In the dark I picked Magnolia from my bag and crawled under the covers with her. I closed my eyes. It was tricky to get used to both wearing both a diaper and a pacifier to bed. The diaper felt too warm and eventually I kicked off my pajama pants to make it cooler.
“No, I’m not a baby again,” I assured my bunny. “Do you remember those times? Do I look alike?” I giggled softly. Then I froze as there was a knock on the door.
A streak of light widened as the door opened. “Hello?” It was Alexis’s voice, who else?
“Yes?” I was afraid she’d see my pacifier and I hastily put it under my collar.
“I was just checking on you two. Is Ally sleeping?”
“Good. And you’re fine?”
“Great. Okay so goodnight then.”
She closed the door. Maybe she was here to turn on the hypnotic track. She’d probably do it later. It didn’t matter.
I turned around, took the pacifier out from under my shirt, put it back in my mouth giving it a few sucks, closed my eyes and listened to the shooting rain. And before I knew it I drifted off to a sleep sweet as a baby’s.
Ally was right next to me when I woke up in the morning. Her head even lay on the same pillow as mine. She must have rolled over in her sleep. I pushed her away and she moved back to her side.
According to the drumming on the roof, the rain still cascaded outside. Since I didn’t knew what time it was and because Ally still was out I tried to go back to sleep again, but I couldn’t. The regular morning complaint from my bladder came and then I remembered what I was supposed to do.
I sat up and rubbed an eye with my palm. Okay, now I knew for sure what to do. Just relax and let go. I took a breath and exhaled. The diaper still sat securely around me, so there was no risk of leaks. It was seemingly harder than I thought. I tried to close my eyes and count to ten but there was no use. Ally’s tickles might help but I didn’t want to wake her.
Well there was no rush. I’d have to go sooner or later anyway and I could just as well pick up my book and read for a while.
After one chapter the complaint was stronger and I couldn’t concentrate on the next one. I put my book down and tried to relax again. It was strange. Even if I really had to go it wouldn’t come out. I tried hovering, standing up, crawling on all four and tried many other positions but nothing worked. Surely diapers couldn’t make you hold it forever so I gave up again and waited until the inevitable would happen.
I sat down on the bed again and then I saw my pacifier dangling on its clip around my neck. I caught it. In some weird way I was tempted to put in my mouth. I did so, telling myself I was just going to have it there for a second but then I closed my eyes and sucked. And that apparently did the trick with my bladder. Sucking on it made me feel relaxed and then my bottom got warm and the diaper began swelling up. Maybe my body somehow thought I was a baby again when I had a pacifier in my mouth.
I had finally done it and I felt strangely proud and satisfied over myself for such a silly thing. Then I heard a snicker next to me. It was Ally smirking. “Good job, baby. Good job.”
Übersetzung aus dem Englischen: Captain Obvious
“Es kann die Realität verändern!” erklärt Alexander seiner Freundin Emily.
“Was meinst du damit?” fragt diese. Ihr gefiel es nicht, dass Alex ständig irgendwelchen Blödsinn auf eBay kauft. Jedes Teil ist noch sinnloser und nutzloser als das davor. Letzte Woche war es ein verhexter Toaster, die Woche davor eine Million Simbabwe Dollar. Die waren nicht mehr wert als ein paar Cent, auch wenn Alex deutlich mehr dafür bezahlt hatte. Und diese Woche ist es nun so ein komischer Kugelschreiber, der gut und gerne auch ein Werbegeschenk sein könnte.
“Der Verkäufer hat gesagt, man drückt die Mine raus und was immer man sagt, bevor man die Mine wieder rein drückt, wird WAHR! Zum Beispiel” *Klick* “der Fernseher in meinem Zimmer ist ein 60 Zoll LCD.” *Klick*
Emily schaut zum Fernseher von Alex. Es war der gleiche riesen LCD den er schon immer hatte. “Ähm, wenn du versucht etwas zu ändern, naja dann musst du wenigstens was sagen, du weißt schon, was anders ist und so.”
Alex schaut für eine Sekunde etwas verwundert. “Schau nochmal kurz zum Fernseher.” Emily schaut genervt nochmal hin. *Klick* “Der Fernseher in meinem Zimmer ist ein altes 30 Zoll Röhrengerät.” *Klick*
“Solltest du jetzt nicht was anderes sagen? Ich bin mir nicht sicher, welchen Sinn es macht, zweimal deinen alten Fernseher zu beschreiben!” sagt Emily als sie auf den alten Fernseher starrt, den Alex schon seit Ewigkeiten hat.
“Mh, das ist interessant …”
Emily rollt mit den Augen. Ihr Freund kann manchmal so Eigenartig sein. “Und, was hast du vor damit? Dir selber eine Million Euro geben? Oder deine perversen Fantasien ausleben und dir selbst ein Harem zulegen?”
“Bitte! Ich bin an viel verrückteren Dingen interessiert als an sowas.” Emily lacht, weil sie dachte, dass Alex nur Spaß macht.
“Also” sagt Alex weiter, “wir werden bestimmt viel Spaß haben heute Abend.”
“Du wirst alleine Spaß haben müssen, da ich heute bei Maggie Übernachte.”
Das hatte Alex ganz vergessen. Maggie ist Emilys beste Freundin und heute ist ihr Geburtstag. Emily hatte schon lange geplant den Abend heute bei ihr zu verbringen.
“Naja, dann nimm mich doch einfach mit.”
“Nein, wirklich. Das wird bestimmt Lustig.”
“Du kennst sie doch gar nicht richtig. Das wäre merkwürdig. Und außerdem ist das mehr so ein Mädels Ding. Ich glaub nicht, dass es ihren Eltern gefallen würde, wenn da ein fremder Junge die Nacht verbringt.”
*Klick* “Aber ich bin doch ein Mädchen, also warum sollte das stören?” *Klick*
“Äh …” sagt Emily und schaut auf Alexandra. Diese war natürlich auch ein Mädchen und ist schon immer eines gewesen. “Ich denke das ist total irrelevant. Ich weiß nicht warum ich das gesagt hab …”
*Klick* “Außerdem” sagt Alex total selbstsicher und überzeugt “wette ich, dass Maggie gesagt hat, dass du mich mitbringen kannst, wenn du willst?” *Klick*
Woher wusste sie das nur, wunderte sich Emily. “Na gut, ich denke du kannst mitkommen. Sei bloß nicht so Kindisch oder Peinlich, OK?”
“Ich verspreche, ich verhalte mich so erwachsen wie ihr.” sagt Alex mit einem teuflischen Grinsen. Emily gefiel dieser Ausdruck gar nicht, doch sie hatte keine Lust schon wieder mit ihrer Freundin darüber zu diskutieren, wie eigenartig sie manchmal ist.
Ein paar Stunden später saß das Paar in Maggies Wohnzimmer und sie diskutierten die verschiedenen Geschenke, die diese bekommen hatte.
“Meine Oma denkt scheinbar immer noch das ich Fünf bin.” sagt Maggie, während sie ein pinkes, mit Rüschen besetztes, Top hoch hält.
“Verdammt! Ich wusste gar nicht, das die so was auch in erwachsenen Größen herstellen.” erwidert Emily.
“Ich weiß, verrückt was?”
“Ach komm schon, du siehst doch bestimmt bezaubernd darin aus.” sagt Alex lächelnd.
“Ja und es würde perfekt zu ihrer Pampers passen.” scherzt Emily und bringt die anderen Zwei zum Lachen.
“Na gut, ich bin in einer Minute zurück.” sagt Maggie und steht auf. “Will jemand ein Wasser oder so was, wenn ich schon aufstehe?”
“Ja, ich Nehm ne Cola.”
Maggie verlässt den Raum und geht Richtung Bad. In dem Moment springt Alex auf, rennt raus und schließt die Tür hinter sich. Durch das Fenster konnte Emily erkennen, wie Alex den Kugelschreiber rausholt, runterdrückt, 30 Sekunden etwas erzählt, wieder drückt und kichernd zurückkommt.
“Was zur Hölle sollte das denn?” fragt Emily, obwohl sie die Antwort wohl lieber nicht wissen will.
“Wir werden gleich sehen, wer hier Kindisch ist heute Abend.” erwidert Alex zwischen dem Gekicher.
Emily starrt auf ihre scheinbar verrückte Begleiterin. Maggie kam zurück und Alex lachte richtig los.
“Maggie, was ist denn mit deinen Hosen passiert?” fragt Emily etwas verwirrt.
“Oh, das ist ne lustige Geschichte.” fing Maggie an und gab den Beiden ihr zutrinken. “Ich bin ins Bad, hab dort aber mein Töpfchen nicht gefunden. Ihr wisst schon, das mit den süßen kleinen Disney Prinzessinnen drauf, dass mir meine Mutter geschenkt hat. Mir fiel ein, dass ich es in meinem Zimmer vergessen hatte. Ich hatte aber keine Lust erst nochmal hoch zu gehen, da dacht ich mir, was soll‘s, ich mach mir einfach schnell in die Pull-Ups und Wechsel die dann später. Aber erst als es schon mein Bein runter lief, fiel mir ein, dass mir meine Mami ja heute Schlüpfer angezogen hat, da es ja mein Geburtstag ist. Meine Hosen waren also total nass, da hab ich sie ausgezogen und mir eine Pull-Up angezogen, damit ich mir nachher keine Sorgen darum machen muss.”
Emily fand das in der Tat irgendwie Lustig, aber Alex fand es saukomisch.
“Sie ist also kindischer als du, nur weil sie kurz zu faul war und einen Unfall hatte?” fragt Emily.
“Ich denke nicht, denn immerhin “ *Klick* “tragen wir zwei immer noch große Babywindeln, wie die meisten Mädchen in unserem Alter, da wir ja noch nicht mit dem Töpfchentraining angefangen haben.” *Klick*
Was soll das, dachte Emily. Warum sagt ihre Freundin heute ständig das Offensichtliche. Und warum stupst sie jetzt ihre Windeln und kichert? Sie hat doch schon seit der Geburt, jeden Tag welche um, da sollte sie doch jetzt nicht so fasziniert davon sein.
“Was hast du noch alles von deinen Verwandten bekommen?” fragt Emily, um von dem merkwürdigen verhalten ihrer Partnerin abzulenken.
“Meine Tante hat mir die fünfte Staffel von Breaking Bad geschenkt. Irgendwie musste ich ständig Arbeiten, wenn das im Fernsehen lief, darum konnte ich es gar nicht richtig verfolgen.
“Du wirst nicht enttäuscht sein. Das ist ne super Stafel.”
“Ja, da kann ich nur zustimmen.” fügt Alex an. “Es war insgesamt wirklich super, aber das Finale war ein bisschen merkwürdig.”
“Gut jetzt, ich will keine Spoiler hören!”
“Keine Sorge, du wirst keinen Piep mehr von mir darüber hören. Ich wollte dich nur vorbereiten auf – Heiliger Schei…, ich glaub ich mach mir gerade in die Windel!” sagt Alex und schaut an sich herab, mit einer Kombination aus Überraschung und Begeisterung, die eigentlich ungewöhnlich ist für jemand in einem Alter, in dem nasse Windeln alltäglich und nicht der Rede wert sind.
“Vielen Dank dafür. Ich denke wir wollten alle etwas über deine Körperfunktionen hören.” sagt eine gereizte Emily.
Alex wird ein wenig rot im Gesicht. “Entschuldigung. Ich hab das nicht so plötzlich und … unfreiwillig erwartet.”
Emily seufzte. “Wie auch immer. Geh dir einfach ne neue Windel um machen, eh du hier noch alles voll Stinkst.”
“Wickelt mich denn nicht eine von euch?”
“Was zum Teufel?” fragt eine angewiderte Emily. Maggie lässt ein betretenes Lachen raus.
“Mh, ich dachte das wäre mit den Windeln gekommen.” erwidert Alex leicht verlegen.
“Worüber sprichst du, in Gottes Namen?”
*Klick* “Du weißt doch, dass es total normal ist für Mädchen die Windeln einer anderen zu wechseln. Fakt ist doch, dass Mädchen sich nur selten selber wickeln, außer sie sind total allein.” *Klick*
“… Ja, darum hab ich dich ja auch gefragt, ob ich dir die Nachtwindeln um machen soll oder ob du lieber die Normalen möchtest, Miss Offensichtlich.”
“Oh, Entschuldigung. Ich muss mich verhört haben. Es ist noch ziemlich früh, ich denke ich Nehm die Normalen.” erwidert Alex, als ihre Freundin gerade die Windeln und weitere Utensilien aus Alex Tasche holt. Emily wollte gerade zum Badezimmer laufen.
*Klick* “Du kannst mich gleich dort wickeln.” sagt Alex und zeigt auf einen freien Bereich auf dem Wohnzimmerboden, “da wir Mädchen ja keine Privatsphäre brauchen, um uns zu wickeln.” *Klick*
Emily verstand einfach nicht, warum Alex heute ständig das Offensichtliche kommentieren musste. Dachte sie wirklich, dass das Drücken des Kugelschreibers und das Sagen solcher Sachen lustig oder so sind? Emily sagt nichts aber seufzt, als sie die Wickelunterlage an der Stelle ausbreitet, auf die Alex gezeigt hatte. Sie deutet Alex sich hin zu legen. Alex verstand den Wink. Während sie sich hinlegte, sah sie seltsam aufgeregt aus, für eine so normale, alltägliche Angelegenheit. Emily zieht Alex die Jeans aus und löst die Tapes der Windel. Maggie schaut etwas unbehaglich und dreht ihren Kopf von dem Ereignis weg.
*Klick* “Nichts davon bereitet euch Unbehagen.” *Klick*
“Was genau soll das eigentlich? Als nächstes erzählst du uns noch, dass der Himmel Blau ist.” fragt eine verwirrte Maggie.
“Naja, … das ist ein wenig schwierig zu erklären …”
“Kannst du bitte aufhören, so komisch zu sein heut Abend?” fragt Emily als sie fertig damit ist Alex abzuwischen und nach der neuen Windel greift. “Es ist nervig und – Hintern kurz hoch – und lenkt uns davon ab, eine schöne Zeit mit Maggie zu haben. Heute Abend sollte es nur um sie gehen.”
“Aber ich bin noch nicht fertig …”
“Verdammt, Alex. Du hast gesagt, du wirst dich erwachsen verhalten heute Abend.”
“Es tut mir leid. Schau, gib mir nur 5 Minuten. Ich geh kurz raus, sag alles was mir durch den Kopf geht und alles wird wieder gut sein.”
“Fein, wie auch immer. Hauptsache du verhältst dich wieder normal wenn du zurückkommst. OK?”
“Ich verspreche es. In ein paar Minuten bin ich fertig mit dem merkwürdigen Zeug.”
Alex zieht ihre Hose wieder an und geht nochmal nach draußen. Sie schließt die Tür und fängt wieder an mit sich selbst zu reden. Emily schaut etwas verlegen und rollt mit den Augen. Sie und Maggie sitzen mit betretenem schweigen da.
“Hast du ein paar Filme mitgebracht?” fragt Maggie schließlich.
“Natürlich doch!” sagt Emily und stellt ihre Cola-Flasche auf den Boden. Sie greift zu ihrer Wickeltasche und holt eine schwarze DVD heraus. “‘V wie Vendetta’ wird dir bestimmt gefallen. Es geht um einen Terroristen, der eigentlich gegen … Wow, Entschuldigung. Irgendwie hab ich gerade den Faden verloren. Also es geht um das letzte Einhorn der Welt, welches auf eine Reise geht, um heraus zu finden was mit den anderen Einhörnern passiert ist.”
Maggie zieht ihren Schnuller aus dem Mund. “Kommen da auch Prinzessinnen vor? Ich mag Prinzessinnen.”
“So gesehen nicht, aber das Einhorn lebt für eine Zeit lang wie eine und verliebt sich in einen Prinzen.”
“Daf klingt gut. Haf du noch waf anderef mit?”
Emily holt noch zwei weitere DVDs heraus und gibt sie Maggie. “Ich hab auch noch ‘Die kleine Meerjungfrau’ und ‘Dora’”
“Fuper, daf wird klaffe heute Nacht!” lispelt Maggie. Emily war schon immer ein bisschen Eifersüchtig auf Maggies Sprachfehler. Damit klingt sie so süß und wie die meisten Mädchen in ihrem Alter wollte sie auch süß und bezaubernd sein.
“Oh, und ich hab auch noch ein paar Spielsachen mit!” Emily weiß nicht, wie sie das bis jetzt nur vergessen konnte. Sie gibt ihre Wickeltasche der aufgeregten Maggie. Während diese sich durch die Tasche wühlt, nimmt Emily wieder ihre Nuckel-Flasche und beginnt daran zu Nuckel. Da kam Alex auch schon wieder rein.
“Und, fertig damit ein Doofi zu sein?”
Alex lächelt und verkneift sich das Lachen, als sie sieht, was die beiden anderen Mädchen machen und tragen. Vor allem das pinke Top von Maggie, über das sie sich vorhin noch aufgeregt hat, sieht zum Kreischen aus. “Ja, du brauchst dir keine Sorge mehr um mich machen. Alles wie es sein soll.”
“Ich verspreche es. Ich bin fertig mit dem Kugelschreiber.” Alex geht rüber zu ihrer Tasche und holt ein bunt verpacktes Päckchen heraus. “Und mir ist gerade eingefallen, das ich ganz vergessen hab, Maggie ihr Geschenk zu geben.” sagt sie, als sie einer sehr aufgeregten Maggie das Päckchen gibt. Emily hätte schwören können, das Alex gesagt hat, dass sie nichts mit bringt für die Nacht außer ihren Sachen. Aber sie ist froh, das Alex endlich mal was richtig macht, heute Abend. Maggie reißt derweil ihr Geschenk auf.
“Oh, Pinkie Pie! Die hat mir noch gefehlt!” sagt sie begeistert und schaut auf das Plastik-Pony. “Danke, Danke, Danke!”
“Ich dachte mir schon, dass dir das gefallen wird. Ich hab auch meine Ponys mit, damit wir alle zusammen spielen können.” Maggie ist total glücklich darüber und Emily ist froh, dass sich Alex endlich ihrem Alter entsprechend verhält. Sie freut sich, dass sie auch ihre Ponys mit hat. Sie holen alle ihre Ponys raus und fangen an zu spielen. Am Anfang haben sie ihren Ponys nur schicke Sachen angezogen und so getan, als würden die Ponys zur Schule gehen. Aber am Ende war es dann ein magisches Abenteuer, in dem die Ponys die Regenbogen vor einem bösen Drachen beschützen mussten. Sie hatten eine super Zeit zusammen, aber dann brach Emily fast in Tränen aus.
“Waf ift denn?” fragt Maggie.
Ich denke da muss jemand gewickelt werden.” sagt Alex mit Gewissheit. Emily nickt und Alex geht zur Tasche ihrer Freundin um alles heraus zu holen.
“Wir ziehen am beften auch gleich unfere Schlafsachen an. Ef ift schon ganz schön spät.” schlägt Maggie vor. Alex stimmt ihr zu und holt die dicken Nachtwindeln und zwei Dora Schlafanzüge heraus. Sie öffnet den pinken Overall ihrer Freundin und zieht ihn zusammen mit dem T-Shirt aus. Alex sieht seltsam erregt aus von so etwas normalem, wie dem ausziehen einer Freundin und dem wechseln ihrer Windel. Aber Emily tat ihren Gedanken ab, da Alex sich ja sonst den Abend über normal verhalten hatte. Als Alex fertig mit dem wickeln ist, soll Emily sich hinstellen, damit sie in ihren Schlafanzug steigen kann.
“Follen wir mit der Nachtwindel für Alekf warten.” fragt Maggie. “Wir müffen ja keine trockne Windel wegschmeifen.”
Emily greift unter Alex ihr Kleid und begutachtet ihre Windel. “Nein, da brauchen wir uns keine Gedanken trüber zumachen.”
Alex sieht verwundert zu Emily. “Wie jetzt, ich hab schon wieder in die Windel gemacht?” Sie greift sich auch unter ihr Kleid und bestätigt es. “Wie konnte das nur?”
“Was denn, hast du noch nie eingepullert ohne es zu merken?”
“Ähm … naja, das ist ungewöhnlich.” erwidert Alex verlegen. “Was soll’s, wickeln wir mich!” Sie ist fast so aufgeregt, wie gerade eben, als sie Emily gewickelt hat. Aber jetzt machte es etwas mehr Sinn. Es ist ja normal, wenn man aus einer nassen oder vollen Windel raus will. Trotzdem etwas merkwürdig. Alex zieht sich aus und legt sich auf den Boden, um ihre Windel gewechselt zu bekommen. Da sieht Maggie den Kugelschreiber in der Seitentasche von Alex ihrem Kleid.
“Heh Mädelf” sagt sie und nimmt den Kugelschreiber. *Klick* “Zwei pluf zwei ift vier. Schockolade ift lecker. Alex ift ein Baby-Mädchen, und macht sich seit der Geburt in die Windel, wie die meiften Mädchen.”
Alex liegt erschrocken da, doch dann springt sie auf, immer noch nackt, und greift sich den Stift aus Maggies Hand.
“Sei vorsichtig damit!” sagt Alex wütend. Doch sie ist froh, das Maggie nichts gesagt hat, was nicht eh schon wahr ist.
“Komm schon, daf ift doch nur ein blödef Spielzeug. Daf macht doch eh nichts.”
“Das stimmt nicht! Es .. äh .. “ Alex denkt kurz nach. Sie erinnerte sich, wie sie den Stift runter drückte und über Sachen redete. Wie das sie ein Mädchen ist und Mädchen Windeln tragen. Das war ja aber offensichtlich alles schon wahr, warum sollte sie also so was sagen? Da war natürlich die Einladung zu Maggie und Maggies Unfall mit dem Schlüpfer. Aber das erste konnte ja auch erraten sein. Maggies Unfall war auch vorher zu sehen. Vorhin war keine Pull-Up unter ihren Sachen zu erkennen und so ein Unfall ist ja keine Seltenheit für ein Mädchen in ihrem Alter. Hätte sie sich selber nicht Millionen Spielsachen oder so was gewünscht, wenn es wirklich funktionieren würde? War sie einfach zu vertieft darin, nur so zu tun? Aber das war ja normal für Babys in ihrem Alter. Sie sieht sich den Kugelschreiber in ihrer Hand nochmal an. Sie drückt nochmal, um zu sehen, ob irgendetwas Magisches passiert. *Klick*
“Naja, ok, vielleicht ist es nur ein Spielzeug, aber das heißt nicht, das du einfach meine Sachen nehmen kannst!”
“Tschuldigung. Ich wusste nicht daf dir daf so wichtig ift.”
“Schau” unterbricht Emily die Beiden, “warum vergessen wir nicht einfach die ganze Sache mit dem Kugelschreiber und schauen das letzte Einhorn?”
Alex Stimmung ändert sich Schlagartig. Das ist ihr Lieblingsfilm. “Den hast du mit!?”
“Natürlich. Leg dich jetzt einfach nur hin, damit ich dir die Windel um machen kann. Dann können wir ihn reinlegen.”
Alex wirft den nutzlosen Stift zur Seite, nicht sicher warum sie vorher so besessen davon war, und legt sich hin. Selbst wenn Maggie vorhin so blöd war, der Abend war doch ganz lustig bis jetzt. Und so wie es aussieht, sollte er noch besser werden. Alles schien so richtig und normal für Alex. So wie es schon immer war.
Draußen wird es langsam dunkel und die Straßen sind alle dicht bedeckt mit einer weißen Schneedecke. Es ist das erste Weihnachtsfest mit meiner Freundin Kathy. Wir hatten uns Anfang des Jahres kennengelernt und uns sofort ineinander verliebt. Ich heiße Christian, werde aber meist nur Chris genannt. Trotz diverser kleiner Streitereien die wir in letzter Zeit hatten, war heute ein wunderbarer Tag mit Kathy zusammen und er sollte noch besser werden.
Wir sind seit etwa einer Stunde aus der Kirche zurück, wir hatten uns dort das Krippenspiel angesehen, und sind jetzt dabei das Abendessen vorzubereiten. Den Kartoffelsalat hat Kathy schon fertig, ich mache nur noch die Würste warm und dann kann es losgehen. Kathy bereitet in der Zwischenzeit den Tisch vor. Ich bringe das Essen ins Wohnzimmer als Kathy gerade ein Paket unter den Weihnachtsbaum legt.
“Ich leg deins auch gleich drunter. Ich muss nur schnell das Essen abstellen.”
Gesagt getan, hole ich mein Geschenk für Kathy aus dem Versteck. Sie hat sich schon seit langem ein Babydoll Nachthemd gewünscht. Verpackt in Hello-Kitty Geschenkpapier, lege ich ihr Geschenk unter unseren Weihnachtsbaum. Das Päckchen sieht ziemlich klein aus neben ihrem, was sie mir wohl gekauft hat.
Ich lege noch eine Weihnachts-CD in die Stereo-Anlage ein und dann können wir auch schon essen. Wir früher bei meiner Mutter gibt es selbstgemachten Kartoffelsalat und Wiener. Das klingt zwar jetzt nicht sehr festlich, schmeckt aber wunderbar, ist schnell gemacht und die Küche ist danach kein Schlachtfeld wie bei manch anderem Gericht. Wir unterhalten uns über die kommenden Tage, in denen wir endlich mal ausspannen können von der Arbeit.
Nachdem alles Verspeist und wir beide satt sind, geht es auch schon ans Aufräumen. Alles schnell wieder in die Küche und in die Spülmaschine geräumt und dann kann die Bescherung losgehen.
“Ladys First. Mach du deins zuerst auf, deines ist kleiner.”
“OK, dann wollen wir doch mal schauen”
Kathy versucht erst das Geschenkpapier ganz zu lassen, aber als es überhaupt nicht ab will, reißt sie es dann doch einfach auseinander. Sie hält das rosa Babydoll Nachthemd hoch und sagt:
“Oh das ist ja super, genau so eins hab ich mir gewünscht! Jetzt bist du aber dran.”
Ok, dann schauen wir doch mal. Das Geschenkt ist ungewöhnlich weich, was das wohl sein mag. Ich versuche zwar auch das blaue Geschenkpapier mit den Weihnachtsmännern und Schneemännern drauf ganz zu lassen, aber nach 10 Sekunden reiße ich es auch einfach auf.
Im inneren erwartet mich wieder Folie. Doch diese ist fest um 8 weiße, mit Weihnachtsmännern, Schneeflocken und anderen Weihnachtsmotiven bedruckte, Windeln in meiner Größe gehüllt. Ich bekomme plötzlich ganz große Augen.
“Ich hab nicht vergessen, was du mir in unserem Sommerurlaub erzählt hast. Ich denke L müsste genau die richtige Größe sein. Ich kenn mich da noch nicht so gut aus.”
Im Sommer waren wir zusammen an der Ostsee. Nach einer alkoholreichen Nacht hatte ich ihr erzählt, das ich in meiner Jugend gern Windeln getragen habe, und das gern mal wieder machen würde. Meine Faszination für Windeln war nie weg, doch seit ich mit Kathy zusammen war, hatte ich immer weniger daran gedacht.
Wir umarmten und Küssten uns ganz lange. Als ich Kathy fragte, wo sie denn Windeln mit Weihnachtsmotiven gefunden habe, sagte sie:
“Die hab ich hier aus der Stadt. Ich hatte nach einem passenden Geschenk für dich gesucht, als ich so einen kleinen Laden in einer Seitengasse gefunden habe. Ich bin einfach mal reingegangen und der Besitzer hatte sofort das richtige für dich. Ich war zwar etwas skeptisch als er mit den Windeln kam, aber dann dachte ich mir, warum nicht. Das sind keine gewöhnlichen Windeln, hat der Besitzer gesagt, sondern Weihnachtswindeln, die Wünsche erfüllen! Ich weiß das klingt komisch, aber versuchen kann man es ja mal.”
“Mh, na da bin ich ja mal gespannt. Ich hab lange keine Windeln mehr umgehabt. Und ein bisschen peinlich ist mir das auch. Es ist ja schon ziemlich spät. Wollen wir es so machen, ich probiere eine Windel und du dein neues Nachthemd und dann schauen wir noch ein wenig Fernsehen.”
“Ok so machen wir das.”
Kathy ging Richtung Schlafzimmer. Ich ging ihr nach um meinen Schlafanzug zu hohlen. Wieder zurück im Wohnzimmer, mache ich das Paket Windeln auf. Auf der Folie war keine Marke und kein Hersteller zu erkennen. Es stand nur Unisex und Größe Flexib-L drauf. Beim Öffnen des Pakets stieg mir sofort der Geruch von Windeln in die Nase. Mmh, riecht das gut. Ich hole eine der Windeln raus und lege sie erstmal bei Seite. Ich ziehe meine Sachen aus und dann wollen wir doch mal sehen.
Ich drehe und ziehe die Windel so, das sich die Auslaufbündchen Aufrichten und lege die Windel vor unseren Fernseher auf den Boden. Da ist am meisten Platz um sich zu wickeln in unserem kleinen Wohnzimmer. Ich lege mich auf die Windel und ziehe das Vorderteil durch meine Beine durch und auf meinen Bauch. Nur ein großer Klebestreifen pro Seite, wie ungewöhnlich. Sie lassen sich aber trotzdem gut verschließen und die Windel sitzt fest. Ich stelle mich hin und die Windel verrutscht keinen Millimeter. Ich hätte nicht gedacht, dass die so gut hält. Ich ziehe gerade das Oberteil meines Schlafanzuges an, als Kathy aus dem Schlafzimmer zurückkommt.
“Das sieht ja total süß aus! Lass doch die Hose gleich aus, dann kann ich sehen, wenn du nass bist und gewickelt werden musst.”
“Die ist auch total bequem. Ich wünschte es wäre normal für mich Windeln zu tragen.”
Plötzlich merke ich, wie es warm in der Windel wird.
“Wieso ‘wäre’? Es ist normal. Ohne Windeln wären doch ständig deine Sachen nass und das Bett und das Sofa erst recht.”
“Mh, wie meinst du das denn jetzt?”
Irgendwas ist anders an meiner Windel, ich weiß nur noch nicht so genau was.
“Gut dass du die Schlafanzughose gleich ausgelassen hast. Du hast deine Windel ja ganz schön geflutet dieses Mal. Die ganzen Weihnachtsmotive sind weg.”
“Wie konnte das denn passieren, ich hab gar nichts gemerkt.”
“Das wäre ja auch mal was Neues. Soll ich dich gleich wieder in eine von den Weihnachtswindeln wickeln oder willst du lieber eine von deinen Molicare?”
Molicare? Die hab ich früher immer benutzt. Was geht hier nur vor und warum ist meine Windel nass ohne dass ich es bemerkt habe?
“Na was ist jetzt? Welche willst du?”
“Ich nehme nochmal eine von den Weihnachtswindeln. Die jetzt konnte ich ja nicht wirklich lange genießen.”
“So wie ich dich kenne wird die zweite auch nicht viel länger halten. Leg dich schon mal hin, ich hol in der Zwischenzeit eine neue aus dem Paket.”
Ich will mich gerade wieder vor den Fernseher legen, als mir plötzlich eine Wickelunterlage an dieser Stelle auffällt. Neben der Wickelunterlage liegt eine zusammengerollte und leicht aufgequollene Molicare Super Plus.
“Wo kommt das denn her?” Sage ich leise vor mich hin.
“Du liegst ja immer noch nicht da. Soll ich dich jetzt wickeln oder nicht?”
“Weißt du wo das herkommt?”
“Ist alles in Ordnung mit dir? Wo soll das schon herkommen. Die Wickelunterlage hast du doch vorhin aus dem Schlafzimmer geholt und die nasse Windel hast du dir gerade abgemacht um die Weihnachtswindel zu testen. Damit hättest du lieber warten sollen, denn da hätte das von gerade eben bestimmt noch mit reingepasst. Aber du musstest sie ja sofort ausprobieren.”
Ich lege mich also auf die Wickelunterlage und ziehe das Oberteil von meinem Schlafanzug etwas hoch, so dass man gut an meine Windel kommt. Da hat sich Kathy schon zwischen meine Beine gehockt und macht die Klebestreifen auf. Ich hebe meinen Hintern etwas an und sie zieht gekonnt die alte Windel weg und schiebt die neue unter mich. Schnell klappt sie das Vorderteil der neuen Windel auf meinen Bauch und rollt dann die alte Windel zusammen. Jeder Handgriff sitzt. Sie legt die volle Windel bei Seite. Es ist wirklich nicht mehr viel zu sehen von den Weihnachtsmotiven. Jetzt zieht sie die Seiten meiner Windel gerade und verschließt die Klebestreifen.
“So, alles wieder frisch. Setz du dich ruhig schon aufs Sofa ich räume hier alles weg.”
Ich stehe auf, die Windel sitzt perfekt, und ziehe jetzt doch meine Schlafanzughose an. Irgendwie ist es mir unangenehm ganz ohne rumzulaufen, und so ist es auch nicht so kalt. Ich setze mich auf das Sofa und schallte den Fernseher an. Kathy nimmt die zwei Windeln und schafft sie in die Küche. Danach holt sie die Wickelunterlage und trägt diese wieder zurück in unser Schlafzimmer. Irgendetwas Merkwürdiges geht hier vor. Kathy setzt sich zu mir und wir schauen gemeinsam die Nachrichten.
“Kathy, danke nochmal für das Wickeln. Ich wusste ja gar nicht dass du das so gut kannst?”
“Das hab ich doch gern gemacht. Naja ich hab dich nun schon so oft gewickelt, da kann man ja gar nichts mehr falsch machen.”
“Ich wünschte ich könnte mich dafür irgendwie revanchieren.”
“Wie wär’s, wenn du mich jetzt noch ein bisschen verwöhnst und heute Abend wickelst DU mich mal zur Abwechslung.”
“Das können wir gerne machen.”
“Und ich will anstatt meiner Tenas heute Nacht mal eine von deinen Weihnachtswindeln probieren.”
“Gerne doch. Das sieht bestimmt super aus mit deinem neuen Nachthemd. Äh Moment, welche Tenas?”
“Na die, die ich sonst jede Nacht um hab. Im Gegensatz zu dir brauch ich die Windeln ja nur nachts.”
“Seit wann brauchst du denn nachts Windeln?”
“Du bist irgendwie komisch heute. Hast du Fieber? Ich trage schon immer nachts Windeln, das weißt du doch.”
“Äh, ja. Das ist mir wohl gerade entfallen. Nein mir geht’s gut. Komm her mein Schatz, du wolltest doch ein bisschen verwöhnt werden.”
Ich ziehe Kathy zu mir ran, umarme sie und wir fangen an uns zu küssen. Dabei streiche ich ihr sanft durch das Haar. Meine Hand gleitet ihren Rücken herunter und fährt langsam unter ihr Nachthemd. Ich ziehe sie noch enger an mich heran. Meine Hand wandert weiter zu ihrer Lustzone und ihre Hand beginnt meinen Schritt zu massieren. Durch die feucht warme, etwas aufgequollene, Windel ist das ein fantastisches Gefühl. Ich tute es ihr gleich und verwöhne sie, bis wir fast gleichzeitig kommen. Wir küssen uns weiter und liegen uns in den Armen.
Nach etwa 5 Minuten steht Kathy auf um ins Bad zu gehen und ich suche uns in der Zwischenzeit einen guten Film raus. Wir legen uns gemeinsam auf das Sofa unter die Decke und schauen meinen Lieblingsfilm aus den 80er “Stirb Langsam”.
Nach dem der Film zu Ende ist, stehen wir auf um uns Bettfertig zu machen. Dabei merke ich, wie meine Windel plötzlich viel tiefer hängt und richtig aufgequollen ist. Ich ziehe den Bund meiner Schlafanzughose etwas nach vorne. Ich muss während des Films wohl ein paar Mal unbemerkt reingemacht haben, so voll wie die Windel jetzt ist. Wie ich so verdutzt dastehe und meine Windel betrachte, gibt mir Kathy einen kleinen Klaps auf den Po und sagt:
“Komm mein großer, es wird Zeit für eine neue Windel. Und du hast mir doch was versprochen.”
Wir gehen also ins Schlafzimmer. Hier sieht alles ganz normal aus, bis auf die Wickelunterlage, die schon auf unserem Bett bereit liegt. Auf einen zweiten Blick fallen mir noch zwei neue Sachen auf. Ein Paket Tena Slips steht im Nachtisch von Kathy und ein Paket Molicare in meinem. Natürlich, die Windeln! Die Weihnachtswindeln! Sie erfüllen wirklich Wünsche! Das muss ich gleich nochmal testen.
Hinter mir kommt Kathy ins Schlafzimmer. Sie hat das Paket mit den Weihnachtswindeln dabei und stellt es neben das Bett.
“Komm, du zu erst. Bevor du noch ausläufst.”
Ich lege mich also wieder auf die Wickelunterlage und ziehe meine Schlafanzughose ganz runter und mein Oberteil so hoch, dass man gut an meine Windel kommt. Wie schon vorhin macht Kathy die Klebestreifen auf und klappt das Vorderteil der Windel runter. Sie hatte sich bereits Feuchttücher bereit gelegt und fängt jetzt damit an mich sauber zu machen. Nach etwa 5 Minuten intensiven säubern, zieht sie die alte Windel weg und legt mir eine neue unter. Sie zieht die Windel straff und verschließt die zwei Klebestreifen.
“So fertig, jetzt bin ich aber dran.”
“Geht ja schon los.”
Ich stehe auf, verbeuge mich und schwenke mit der Hand zur Wickelunterlage.
“Bitte sehr meine junge Dame. Sie sind an der Reihe.”
Kathy macht einen Knicks, was total süß in ihrem Babydoll-Nachthemd aussieht und legt sich auf die Unterlage. Ich nehme eine von den Weihnachtswindeln aus dem Paket. Kathy hat sich in der Zwischenzeit untenherum schon frei gemacht und liegt mit breiten Beinen vor mir. Ich lege ihr die Windel unter, als sie plötzlich traurig schaut und sagt:
“Hast du nicht was vergessen?”
“Ach ja, wir müssen dich ja noch ein bisschen sauber machen und eincremen.”
Ich nehme also eines der Feuchttücher und gehe ans Werk. Nachdem alles sauber ist nehme ich die Creme und trage diese sanft auf ihre Haut auf. Kathy lacht dabei immer mal kurz, wenn ich eine ihrer kitzligen Stellen berühre.
“Ich wünschte wir könnten tauschen.”
Oh nein, was hab ich den da gesagt! Ich kneife meine Augen zu. Das hab ich doch nur gedacht und wollte das doch gar nicht sagen! Plötzlich muss ich lachen, weil mich irgendetwas unten kitzelt, an einer total ungewohnten Stelle. Als ich die Augen wieder aufmache, sehe ich mein Gesicht vor mir. Es drückt mir gerade einen Kuss auf.
Ich bin Kathy! Die Windeln erfüllen wirklich, mhhhhh …… Eine wohlige Wärme erfüllt meinen Schritt. Ich, also Chris, streicht mit seiner Hand über meine Oberschenkel. Er zieht das Vorderteil der Windel hoch und verschließt die Klebestreifen. Zum Glück hab ich jetzt eine von den Weihnachtswindeln um und kann mich so jederzeit zurückwünschen. Chris geht ins Bad um sich die Zähne zu putzen und ich stehe auf. Ich bin so leicht. Ich stelle mich vor den Spiegel unseres Kleiderschranks. Ich sehe total süß aus, das Babydoll-Nachthemd und die Weihnachtswindel ergänzen sich perfekt.
Als Chris aus dem Bad zurückkommt, lächelt er, wie er mich so dastehen sieht. Er nimmt mich in den Arm und wir küssen uns. Nach etwa 5 Minuten können wir uns lösen und ich gehe ins Bad. Ich nehme die rosa Zahnbürste und nach 3 Minuten bin ich auch schon fertig. Immer noch fasziniert von meinem neuen Körper, streiche ich mir durchs Haar und erforsche meine Brüste. Es wird warm und feucht in meinem Schritt. Ich brauche jetzt meinen Mann. Oh Gott, was denke ich denn da.
Zurück im Bett küssen wir uns weiter. Das Küssen wird intensiver und wir streicheln uns. Nach 5 Minuten halte ich es nicht länger aus, ich greife Chris in die Windel und hohle sein steifes Glied heraus. Vorbei ein meiner Windel, führe ich es mir ein. Was für ein Wahnsinns Gefühl. Rein, raus, rein, raus. Ohhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! … So einen intensiven Orgasmus hatte ich ja noch nie. Ich sacke erschöpft zusammen. Chris liegt sich neben mich. Wir streichen uns durch die Haare und Chris schläft ein. Als ich auch gerade am Einschlafen bin, sage ich leise und schon fast im Halbschlaf:
“Ich wünsche mir meinen alten Körper zurück.”
by Rammus fan
“Checkmate” the young girl said with a final satisfying click of her computer mouse, a smug grin, and flick of her hair. The computer showed that the opponent had left the game chat without saying anything, not so much as an obligatory ‘gg.’ Two more clicks and the girl closed the program. Chessmates Online was Catherine’s favorite pastime. Nothing was more satisfying to her than intellectually defeating an opponent. It was a unordinary hobby for a ten year old girl, playing chess.
Catherine displayed genius far beyond what was expected of others her age. Much of her personality and interests were similarly advanced. Most days after school Catherine could be found reading books that most adults would find too complex or otherwise boring, such as her older brother’s college physics books. While she didn’t always understand all the subject material, she still possessed the desire to learn. When not reading advanced literature and science textbooks Catherine liked to play intellectually demanding games. Especially games with a human opponent such as checkers, Boggle, Mastermind, Go, and of course chess. Most of these games she played online, as she had driven away many friends by constantly beating them. Most girls and boys her age were put off by Catherine’s large vocabulary, her higher skill in all things academic, or her lack of interest in conventional preteen girl and boy toys like dolls and nerf-guns.
“Cathyyyy, dinner will be ready soon! Stop playing your silly computer games and come down here to wash up!” Catherine’s mother called out to her daughter from down the hall. The young girl then rolled her eyes. She hated being called Cathy and she hated her mother’s disapproval of her time spent playing games on the computer.
“They can barely be called computer games anyway,” she thought, “I bet there are even better and more challenging video games out there, if only Mom would let me download them.” Mrs. Soulland had made it very clear she would not allow Catherine to have unrestricted internet access or unapproved games for a long time to come. “Maybe after you turn thirteen,” Her mother had said, though Catherine knew from previous experiences that maybe usually meant “no.” It was fortune that her older brother had gifted her his old computer, as it would be likely that her mother would never have bought her a personal computer for years to come if not for that. She often wondered how long she would be kept mentally suppressed like this, her ability to learn limited to the maximum number of books possible checked out from the local library.
After washing their hands, Catherine and her mother spent their meal at the table alone in a usual awkward silence. Mr. Soulland had cheated on Catherine’s mother and left while Catherine was too young to even remember him. Her brother was off at college halfway across the country finishing his last year of his degree. That left the two women to share their meals like this for the past four years. Not that there was no love in the relationship between mother and daughter, but rather that neither felt very relatable to the other. Mrs. Soulland worked as car saleswoman, a job that did not interest her daughter. The clanking of the forks and knives hitting the bottom of their bowls of chicken and pasta was the only sound that broke the silence for several minutes since Catherine had thanked her mother for the meal.
At last Mrs. Soulland spoke first, slowing her eating and speaking clearly between chewing and swallowing, “Cathy,” Catherine suppressed a wince, “about your progress report that came in…” this time Catherine actually did wince. She hated this conversation. “It said you have one B, four C’s, and a D. Why are you failing in algebra? I know that you understand the material.” She asked in a tone that was latent with annoyance, accentuating it with a condescending cock of her head and accusatory glare.
Catherine stopped eating, but turned to the side to avoid her mother’s disappointed gaze, “I don’t know… it’s stupid.” She knew this answer would only anger her mother, but it was all a part of the plan to disengage the conversation.
“It’s stupid, that’s your excuse? You told me that you are getting A’s on all the tests! Young lady if you have been lying to me-” She was cut off by her daughter.
“I do get A’s on all the tests! I don’t know why I have a D, but I’ll ask my teacher tomorrow.”
It was the truth. Catherine would often skip her homework and just perform flawlessly on the tests. Some teachers were so charmed by her achievement that they would overlook her lack of homework and give her a total grade for the class based on her test scores alone. Others would not budge and her grades would suffer. If not for her apathy towards half the school learning curriculum, Catherine would likely have been able to skip a grade; a conversation that had been discussed before.
Mrs. Soulland was not entirely convinced and raised a suspicious eyebrow at her daughter’s answer, but still relented.
“Alright, but you better have improved grades by the end of the second quarter.” She warned. She continued after finishing her last bite of pasta, “By the way, I’m going out to a late movie tonight. So your babysitter should be here soon.”
Catherine loathed having a babysitter, but recognized that adults and teenagers wielding authority over everyone younger than them was simply the way things were. Her brother seemed to be the only one who respected her as an equal.
“Okay” Catherine gave her obligatory acknowledgement of her fate before retreating to her room. It wasn’t unusual to have a babysitter watching her at least twice a week. She planned to spend the evening like any other while a babysitter was present, in her room with a book and having as little interaction with them as possible. An hour passed and there was a knock at her bedroom door. “What is it Mom?” she called out, not wanting to get up and be torn from her book. The doorknob turned and swung wide open. With annoyance at the unwarranted intrusion, Catherine turned to chastise her mother for letting herself into her room without permission.
“I’ve only been babysitting you for, like, two minutes, but I’m flattered you’re already calling me Mommy!” A high pitched unexpected voice answered.
There in her room stood Catherine’s newest babysitter. A fit looking blonde girl, her hair in a ponytail, with tan skin and expensive looking clothes, she towered over the preteen. Even sitting on her bed, with hands on her knees, she leaned over Catherine and smiled down on her like a child. Catherine immediately did not like her overly cheery and patronizing entrance.
“I thought you were my Mom. I wasn’t actually referring to you,” she corrected her babysitter, “speaking of which when did she leave?” It wasn’t uncommon for her mother to forgo introductions with new babysitters.
“Oh! Like, two or three minutes ago. My name’s Delia, but you can keep calling me Mommy if you want,” Delia said with a wink. She then suddenly reached forward and hooked her hands under Catherine’s arms before the girl could react and picked up her charge, leaving the book abandoned on the bed. “And what’s your name, sweetie?” Delia asked in the same sugarcoated and perky tone while holding up the confused Catherine.
“Uh, I don’t really like being held like this.” Wanting very much to be back in a situation where she had control over her own body, she started to squirm.
“That’s a funny name!” Delia heartily laughed before lightly swinging Catherine upwards and crouching with her fall to catch her in a cradling position, “but I was told your name is Cathy!” she said gently poking the other girl’s nose.
Catherine was no more comfortable in this position either. “Yeah, but call me Catherine. I don’t like being called Cathy.” She had since stopped squirming, resigning to her fate, and took the different strategy of asking politely, “Can I get down now, please?”
Setting her down on the bed, the babysitter relented with a disappointed groan. “You sure don’t like a lot of things!” Her babysitter was reminding Catherine more and more of why she didn’t like most people. “What do you like then?” Delia continued, “Oh! How about a game?” Catherine perked up at this just a little. Games sometimes implied chess! It had been far too long since her last in-person opponent.
“How about chess?” The younger girl asked almost a little too excitedly, already going over to her closet to fish out the board game.
“Booooring!” Delia denied with a fake yawn, leaving Catherine to turn back around with a dejected look “How about something more girly like dolls, house, or dress up? I brought some cute dresses you could try on!”
“Ugh, no thanks. I’ll just read in my room the rest of the night. You don’t have to play with me.” Catherine turned to climb back on her bed only to be stopped by a grip on her wrist.
Delia was holding her back, “Come ooooonn, it will be fun! Just one dress and I promise I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the night.” She pleaded. Clearly dress-up must be this girl’s favorite game.
Catherine considered her options with great speed. Judging by the tone in her sitter’s voice she likely wouldn’t take no for an answer, though she considered it unlikely Delia would FORCE her to wear the dress if she repeatedly said no and refused to budge. But there seemed no harm in humoring Delia’s wishes if it gave Catherine peace for the remainder of the evening, she mused. It was a battle not worth fighting.
“Alright, alright, one dress.” Catherine agreed, and was led by her hand down the hall and into the living room. Upon entrance to the room Catherine became acutely aware of the some subtle differences of the room. One was the oversized purse that leaned against the living room sofa. It was likely so large so that it could hold all these dresses and games that Delia had said she brought. Another was a faint smell in the air that was all at once familiar, but still strange and out of place. Before she had time to formulate as to why the room smelled like it did, her train of thought was broken by the feeling of Delia unbuttoning her shorts.
“What are you doing!?” she demanded, though still not doing anything to stop her babysitter due to her state of shock and confusion. She hadn’t been undressed or dressed by someone else in years. It was a foreign and invasive feeling.
“We’re trying on dresses, remember?” Delia stated matter-of-factly, sitting on her knees, while beginning to tug Catherine’s tight denim shorts down.
“I can do that myself, and you said only one- WAH!” the little girl lost her balance after reaching down to resist Delia pulling her shorts off, only to fall backwards. A strong hand broke her fall.
Delia had caught Catherine from falling with a swift hand on her lower back and gently lowered her to the ground on her butt. She wasted no time after that pulling her charge’s legs into the air and sliding the shorts off and over her sneakers.
“Better be careful little girl!” Delia warned, now reaching for the younger girl’s shirt, “Why don’t you just let me, like, take care of the dressing, hm?”
“No, really, let me do this myself” Catherine protested again, this time more sternly. Either Delia had not heard her through her muffled plea into her shirt as it was taken off, or she pretended not to notice. Catherine was uncooperative and continued to squirm, terribly uncomfortable with being so intimately touched and handled by a complete stranger as well as being nearly naked in front of one. It wasn’t long before Delia had her dressed down to just her underwear and shoes. She badly wanted to grab her clothes, which were strewn about nearby on the floor, though she knew that getting redressed was futile at this point against her new babysitter.
“Alright, wait right here Cathy.” The babysitter instructed slowly as she lifted Catherine onto the couch. She then walked over to the large bag and began to fish through it for something, leaving Catherine awkwardly on the sofa slightly shivering from the cold.
“Here we go!” Delia exclaimed as she pulled out what appeared to be a childish looking, white, lacy church dress complete with a big bow on the back fastened around the waist.
Catherine’s eye went wide with horror at the sight of it. “No no no no no, I do not want to wear that!” she said standing up from the couch, pointing at the frilly garment and forgetting all about her shivers. She began to slowly back away from the older girl. The dress was much more girly than she envisioned it before actually seeing it. It had been some time since she had last worn a dress, and for good reason. Catherine hated feeling girly, dainty, or babyish. There was a twinkle in Delia’s eyes as she saw Catherine back away, like a predator cornering its prey. Catherine recognized it as the look of victory. She was rapidly thinking of an answer to get out of this situation without going back on her word in order to have Delia leave her alone for the rest of the night.
There was not enough time however as Delia soon had her hands on the little girl’s waist, pulling her in and spinning her to face away. “Arms up, cutie!” The babysitter commanded with a tickle on Catherine’s tummy, causing her to involuntarily laugh.
Her face was red with embarrassment as being made to wear such a thing, doubly so for how easily she had let herself be made to do it. Why hadn’t she talked her way out of it like she usually does? “New opponents can be so unexpected,” she thought to herself. “Do I have to?” Catherine meekly asked raising her arms regardless.
Without answering, Delia took the action as compliance. Surely Catherine would enjoy and pretty and adorable she looked after seeing herself in the little dress. Sliding the dress over the head of the little girl she helped guide her arms into the tiny holes as the whole thing fell into place. Straightening up, Delia began tugging at the edges, fixing the sleeves, and adjusting where it seated on the shoulders.
At last it was done and Catherine was spun about to face her tormentor. The whole process had left her feeling very vulnerable and childish. Catherine wouldn’t give Delia the satisfaction of seeing her humiliated in defeat, though. She reluctantly look up to meet her caretaker’s eyes and braced for the expected gushing all adults did over adorable little girls.
“Omigosh, you look soooooo cuuuuuute!” the older girl said, beginning to rub her hands all over Catherine’s body and lifting the hem of the dress up to see the frills underneath. At this intrusion Catherine reactively began tugging the dress back down. “You don’t have to worry sweetie, no one is going to see but me.”
Her babysitter’s words gave her no comfort. The act of her underwear being on display for anyone, anywhere, by any amount, was unsettling as well as distressing. Having had quite enough, Catherine lightly pulled away from Delia who was still fiddling with the edges of the dress. “Can I take this off now, please?” She asked still masking her discomfort well to fool Delia into thinking she didn’t detest the dress as much as she let on.
“Not until you see yourself in the mirror!”
Again whisked away in her babysitter’s arms, Catherine felt herself being carried toward what she assumed would be the bathroom. It logically was the closest large mirror in the house. Her prediction was correct. Delia stopped in just inside the door frame of the tiny washroom, carrying her looking like a tiny newlywed bride. Forced to see the image before her Catherine frowned and took in the full picture of herself in the dress that was chosen for her. The sleeves were short with a slight puff to them, complete with lacy frills along the ends. The skirt was composed of a couple layers of sewn on ruffles that followed down to the edge that was also adorned with lace, which seemed to only reach just above her knees. The bow around the waist was a sleek silk and stuck out significantly on either side. All of this was in stark contrast to the sneakers Catherine wore.
Noticing her displeased look Delia nuzzled her face into the younger girl and said, “I guess you don’t like it, huh? Well you were so well behaved that I think you deserve a reward!” The babysitter smiled down at the babysat, cradled in her loving embrace.
Skeptical and confused, Catherine looked up at Delia with a cocked eyebrow that demanded further explanation.
“How about a game of chess?” She asked.
Catherine did not think she would ever hear that coming from someone else, much less any babysitter of hers. Without even bothering to respond, she squirmed out of the older girls arms and through her legs bounding down the hall to fetch the game board from the closet, her shoes squeaking along the hardwood floor along the way.
“I’ll take that as a yes!” Delia hollered after her, following slowly behind into her room.
Soon the two girls were at the kitchen table, putting their pieces onto their respective squares. Delia seemed slightly confused, “Uhm, it’s, like, been a while since I played chess, is this right?” she asked, pointing to the configuration she had set up. It was close, and Catherine quickly switched the positions of the king and queen. “Oh thanks! Sorry if I don’t remember all the rules. You can just correct me if I do something wrong.”
“There.” She said, having placed the final pieces. This was sure to be an easy win, as far as Catherine saw it. Sitting down, the cold wooden seat met her own seat and she was harshly reminded of her current clothes. She internally cursed herself for getting too excited over chess and forgetting to remove the dress. It didn’t matter anyway. All that mattered to her now was beating Delia in this battle of wits. Catherine usually held no mercy against newbie opponents and her babysitter, like all the others before her, would be no exception. Composing herself the younger girl suppressed a smile as she thought of the easy victory that lay within reach. She reached over to her knight on A2, “I’ll go first.”
The tension in the room was high after a few moves. Currently it appeared as is Delia was winning by a significant amount. Catherine was is absolute shock over how quickly her plans were falling apart. To her, Delia’s moves seemed clumsy and random with no strategy at all. However, every time Catherine went to to punish any mistakes, it became clear that each move had an ulterior motive and it cost her dearly each time. Now that she was down so many pieces, Delia was allowed to march, no matter how tactless, all over the other side of the board. Catherine could not tell if her opponent was a chess genius, just plain lucky, or both.
“I think that’s check…” Delia began, scanning the board to see if it was- “mate” moving her rook in line with Catherine’s king.
It couldn’t be true. “Wait,” She said, holding up a finger. There had to be something. Just as Delia was about to insist on her victory, Catherine took the rook with a bishop that was hidden among other pieces. She did nothing to conceal her relief as she shrunk back into her seat, dress rustling slightly. Perhaps she could still turn the tides.
“Oooh, I almost had you Cathy!” Delia said shaking her fist, her voice still ever-patronizing, “but…”
Catherine saw her mistake only too late as the older girl gently slid her queen into the recently moved bishop and once again called, “Checkmate! I win right?” She looked over to her charge to verify her victory.
Catherine remained silent as she desperately looked for any kind of rebuttal move, but none existed. Finally with a defeated sigh, “Yeah, you got me. You win.” The words were difficult for the little chess-enthusiast to say.
“That was actually fun, Cathy, I’d love to play again sometime!” Delia said as she began cleaning up the game, obviously denying a rematch. “Well, that was a long game, let’s get you ready for bed, and I’ll make us some victory milkshakes to celebrate!”
It was still some time before bed, but Catherine assumed ready for bed meant getting out of this dress. While it didn’t make sense to make a shake for the loser, she didn’t outright deny the opportunity. “I’m not allowed to have desserts on weekdays. Didn’t my mom tell you that?” Catherine questioned, helping to clean up the game.
Closing the lid on the chess box, Delia looked over slyly to her charge, winking. “Well I won’t tell if you won’t.”
This brought a smile to the younger girl’s face, and she winked back. She then turned with game in hand and returned it to her room. Catherine could hear Delia pick up the babysitting bag and follow close behind. While she was still frustrated over the loss, a milkshake wasn’t a bad consolation prize. Once inside the room, she placed the game back on the shelf of her closet where it belonged. Delia was close behind, setting the bag by the bed. The faint smell from before seemed to follow the bag, Catherine noticed. Before she could begin to formulate the origin of the smell, she once again felt herself being undressed. This time though, she did not fight it. The sooner out of that dress, the better. Delia also seemed pleased with her charge’s compliance. With her babysitter’s help the girly garment was off in seconds. Delia neatly folded the dress then lifted Catherine onto the bed, pausing awkwardly for a brief moment, and began to untie the young girl’s shoes.
Once the shoes and socks were off, Delia calmly asked, “I know it’s still an hour before bedtime, sweetie, but where do you keep your pull ups?”
That was just about the last way Catherine expected that question to end. “What?” She asked incredulously, sure she had heard her babysitter wrong.
Mistaking the context of the response, Delia rephrased, “Oh, no pull ups? Where do you keep your night time diapers then?”
Still not quite believing what she was hearing, Catherine thought a few seconds on exactly what Delia was implying. “ I don’t… have diapers. I-”
She was cut off by Delia talking while rummaging through the large bag, “Ohh, you’re mommy didn’t tell me you were out of diapers!”
Catherine shrugged at the response, still confused. Why would her mother need to tell her babysitter that she was out of diapers? That seemed implied with all ten year old girls, didn’t it? She couldn’t think of any girls her age that weren’t out of diapers.
“-Luckily,” Delia had fished a couple things out from the bag, held in each hand, “this mommy always comes prepared!” In her hands were a bottle of baby powder, and diaper that looked suspiciously large.
Baby powder! That was the smell from earl- Catherine’s train of thought was interrupted once again as she felt a rush of cool air over her privates. It was one surprise and sensation after another as she looked and saw her panties being slid off her ankles, and having her legs lifted by Delia’s amazonian grip high into the air. Catherine only regained her senses and ability to protest after feeling the soft diaper underneath her naked bottom, “What are you doing? I don’t w-”
Again she was cut off by her babysitter, who’s tone had changed for the first time that night, “I don’t want to hear it, Catherine.” Catherine was silent, still, and cooperative a moment at the harshness of her full name being used, even if that was how she usually liked it. “I deal with plenty of bed wetters when I babysit-”
It was Catherine’s turn to interrupt Delia, “But, I don’t w-” she began reaching her hands over to stop her babysitter from sealing the tapes of the diaper only to have her hands slapped away with an instinctive yelp in surprise.
“CATHERINE!” The older girl said firmly and strictly, stopping the diapering process and looking into the small girl’s eyes to show her seriousness. “I am your babysitter and you will listen to me,” She continued in a no-nonsense fashion, once again resuming to seal the reluctant girl in the cartoon-covered, plastic shell diaper, “As I was saying. I make sure to diaper all bed wetters that I babysit because I’ve had kids accidentally leak at night which has lead me to trouble with parents in the past. So I will be personally diapering you when I babysit you, just as a precaution.”
The last tape was sealed snugly around Catherine’s waist. A sight she hadn’t seen in seven years since she switched to pull ups for her sporadic accidents. She could barely comprehend what Delia was saying through her embarrassment, disbelief, and fear, all while trying to rationalize what was happening. It was then that it hit her what Delia had meant by ‘out of diapers’! It was clearly a misunderstanding in the use of the words. Catherine cursed herself for not recognizing the mistake earlier.
The babysitter continued talking as she looked in the closet for pajamas, “I know it’s still early, but I get all of my children ready for bed an hour or two before bed.” She had found a nightshirt and stepped fluidly back to the bed where the stunned, diapered, little girl sat.
Catherine desperately wanted to insist that she wasn’t a child, that she didn’t like being interrupted, that she didn’t need help getting dressed, and most of all that she didn’t wet the bed anymore. Ergo, she didn’t need diapers or pull ups. Not nice four years ago. But she dared not speak until Delia seemed thoroughly finished lest she invite more yelling or whacking.
“And for cooperating and getting ready for bed so early, and being brave by letting me diaper them…” Delia slid the nightshirt over Catherine’s already waiting arms, “I usually let them stay up an extra half hour” she finished with a wink, her good nature seeming to have returned. Delia then made another grab for her charge, who shied away slightly fearing another smack, gently pulling her into a cradling position once again. Her diaper crinkled loudly as the young girl was adjusted in her arms. Noticing the scared and confused look on Catherine’s face the insistent babysitter remedied the situation, “So cheer up! No one is here to see your diapees but me, and I promise not to tell anyone! Not ever, EVER!” Delia promised, lifting the nightshirt slightly and blowing raspberries onto the little girl’s tummy.
This did not improve Catherine’s mood or answer her questions on why Delia thought she was a bed wetter and needed diapers. It did cause her to smile and laugh intensely, losing all sense trying to futilely push her babysitter’s head away. Her muscles refused to respond through the intense tickling. By the time she was able to open her eyes and stop laughing, she realized that she had been carried out to the kitchen. Catherine then remembered the promise of milkshakes. She was set down on the ground, her diaper crinkling as Delia’s arm slid past it causing her to blush. How had she let this happen so easily? Was it so hard to say a single sentence, “I don’t wet the bed?” No, this was not Catherine’s fault. It was Delia’s fault for being pushy, interruptive, and commandeering. Yet part of her did not want to confront her babysitter. She had so far been nice enough and generous, apart from the forceful diapering and dressing. It was just a misunderstanding. Still, it was better to nip this in the bud now than let this charade carry any longer.
“Uh, Delia?” Catherine asked quietly, still minorly fearful of backlash from her babysitter.
“Yes baby?” She responded sweetly.
Requesting to not be called a baby at this point would simply be stupid, so Catherine ignored the pet name. She continued with a tone that would not come off as childish, and with a seriousness that would not make Delia think she was lying either, “I don’t wet the bed or need diapers. That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier.”
The older girl had been looking in the freezer for ice cream, and stopped dead in her tracks. Everything was completely still and quiet, save for the hum of the open freezer. Delia then shut the freezer and whipped around, a horrified look on her face.
“Oh. My. Gosh.” She began, sympathy showing in her face, much to Catherine’s relief. “I am SO SORRY!” The babysitter rushed over to the young girl and squeezed her in a heartfelt, apologetic embrace. Catherine’s face was pushed into the older girl’s bosom by a strong hand on the back of her head and on her bottom. “When I heard your bed crinkle with a plastic sheet earlier I thought you were a bed wetter. And all the children I diaper for bed complain when I insist on doing it. I guess I had just had enough arguingI’MSORRYI’MSORRYI’MSORRYI’MSORRYI’MSOSORRY”
Blushing from her babysitter’s discovery of her plastic sheet, a remnant of her past bed wetting days, Catherine avoided extrapolating on the subject. “Mphmrrrahit” She tried to respond, ending the tide of apologies. After a moment, Delia finally let her breathe, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll just take this off and go put my normal panties on.” She turned to leave to do just that, only to feel a tug on the nightshirt stop her.
“Well…” Delia began looking away, this time her turn to blush, “The thing is, Catherine, that you have to keep the diaper on.” she said, looking into the other girl’s eyes, still holding the end of the nightshirt.
“… What?” Catherine asked, not quite believing what she was hearing.
“Well, honey, diapers are expensive. If you take it off, it can’t be used again.” She explained slowly, knowing that the young girl would be outraged at the predicament. “It would be a waste if you didn’t sleep with it tonight.” Delia tried to appeal to the girl.
Catherine was silent for a moment, searching for options out of this. She stared back at Delia while thinking. “Damn her!” She thought, “She has me cornered again!” One option was to resist completely, and blatantly remove the diaper against her babysitter’s wishes. This would result in her freedom, but at the cost of an unknown punishment from an unfamiliar babysitter. Better not to risk the chance of it being worse than a diaper. Another option was to fake an accident using a glass of water from the bathroom- no no that would be a terrible idea. Lastly, it was possible to simply accept her diapered fate for the night, the plus being no further conflict with Delia, the negative being her relinquishment to babyhood. Delia once again held her in checkmate.
“Okay…” choosing the logically easiest answer, Catherine relented. Did that imply she would have to wet it if she needed to use the bathroom tonight or tomorrow? It wouldn’t come to that. She would simply take it off in the morning and throw it away, waste or not, once her tormentor had left.
Finally releasing her hold Delia brought her charge in for a more gentle hug this time. “That’s very brave and mature of you. I’m proud of you, baby.” she softly said. Releasing the hug and standing up, she continued, “Now, I have a bit more bad news,” though her voice did not imply the news was that bad, “Looks like we’re out of ice cream, so we’re going to have to go out for ice cream!” Considering on protesting due to her state of dress, Catherine was preemptively stopped by Delia, “Don’t worry, you can go get pants on. I don’t plan on showing your diaper to the world.”
Grateful for her babysitters foresight and for her decision to let her dress herself, Catherine walked down the hall experiencing the feel of moving around in her diaper for the first time. Not caring for the noise it made, or the awkward feel, Catherine kept a normal stride and pace. There were no other people around so she felt no need to be embarrassed, for now. Part of her wanted to switch back to daytime clothes if she were to venture outside, but she knew her shorts and tee shirt would run the risk of revealing her diaper. To her knowledge, the only clothes that would completely conceal the diaper were her nightshirt and other nighties. Catherine mulled over her options.
“Actually, we won’t be getting out of the car. I know a drive-thru place for milkshakes, so you don’t really need pants” Delia paused, “-if you want. I swear no one will see.”
Feeling backed into a corner again, Catherine considered the chances of having her diaper show. Looking at things objectively putting pants on would be a waste of time. If what Delia said was true then covering up really wouldn’t be necessary. She had gone out in the same pajamas before, sans diapers. Above all Catherine wanted that milkshake as soon as possible.
“Alright, you promised!” she reminded her babysitter. The two girls walked one after the other to the front door, where Delia dug out her keys from the large bag, which Catherine now confirmed to specifically be a large diaper bag, and picked up Catherine to carry her out the door. The younger girl was fine with this as the ground outside was cold and she had no shoes. Delia also took extra caution to hold her in such a way to not let her long shirt fall open.
After being situated and placed in the front seat, Catherine noticed right away with annoyance, “Hey, I don’t need a baby car seat!” then mumbled to herself, “just because I’m wearing a diaper…”
“It’s a booster seat, dear, not a car seat,” Delia countered, “And I’m not going to waste time taking it out. Don’t you want to sit in the front seat with me?”
Silently agreeing, Catherine resigned to her fate. She surmised that Delia must take care of children of all ages. Looking in the back out of curiosity, she noticed a real child’s car seat. The older girl started up her nice new-smelling electric car and soon the two were on their way to get milkshakes. In the silent time that passed, Catherine started to rethink the events of the last hour. Everything seemed suspicious, from the dress that had perfectly fit her, not to mention the diaper, Delia’s deceptively impressive chess skills, and all the clever excuses she seemed to have in order to humiliate her. However, she couldn’t guarantee that what was humiliating to her was viewed the same as from Delia’s perspective. There simply wasn’t enough evidence for Catherine to crack the case and get the answers she wanted right now.
“What flavor do you want, kiddo?” Delia asked.
Apparently they had reached their destination already. Catherine recognized it as a local owned dairy/ice creamery she had been to once or twice. Thinking quickly on what she had ordered in the past, “small mint chocolate chip shake, please,” Catherine decided.
“Make it a medium, Bish,” Delia winked at him, causing the young man taking the order to blush slightly. Catherine looked over in confusion as her babysitter leaned over and whispered, “I figure I owe you for the mix up with the diap-”
“Thanks, but you didn’t have to.” She hastily interrupted, not wanting to be reminded of what lay just beneath her pajamas. Drawing her own attention to that area, Catherine noticed the car had heated seating which felt very nice on her bottom and thighs. She had to admit, while the idea of wearing a diaper was humiliating, the actual diaper itself was more than comfortable. Waiting for her milkshake, she began to adjust, lean back in the chair and relax, causing a quiet crinkle from her diaper. This made Delia look over and smile patronizingly. Her gaze caused Catherine to fidget more and try to find a less crinkly position, only to elicit more noise.
“What?” She asked, annoyed, hearing her babysitter stifle a laugh at her predicament.
“Nothing!” Delia meeped trying her best, but failing, to spare the little girl any embarrassment. She then looked out the window to see their milkshakes were being walked out to them. “Oh here they come!” Delia exclaimed, effectively changing the subject.
The drive back was just as silent as the drive there, though this time Catherine was entirely focused on her milkshake.
Finishing it just as they pulled into the driveway, the girl let out a happy sigh after the last long slurp. The sun had been set for a few hours, and thus is was getting colder outside by the minute. Hugging herself and bouncing on her tippy toes, Catherine made a dash for the front door avoiding being carried in by her babysitter again. “Thanks, Delia.” She added remembering her manners.
“Sure thing sweetie.” Delia locked up the car with a click of her keys and marched toward the house. “Does this make me your favorite?” She asked sweetly, beginning to unlock the front door.
“Wellllll” Catherine began, dramatically dragging out the response while bounding into her home, “You’re alright.” She then quickly amended, “Apart from being diaper crazy.” for added truth.
“I guess I’ll have to butter you up even more to get you to warm up to me,” Delia accepted the compliment with a ruffle of the little girl’s hair. Setting the diaper bag down by the couch again, she stretched and laid herself along the length of the furniture and turned the TV on. Inviting Catherine over Delia patted her own stomach to beckon the girl to lie with her.
Stifling a yawn, Catherine welcomed the invitation and lay down on top of her babysitter, bringing a blanket with her. Delia wrapped up herself and the much smaller girl under the blanket, shifting around to find a comfortable and warm position. After much shuffling of cloth over cloth and the rustling of a diaper, the two girls were on their sides facing the TV, and Catherine found herself being Delia’s little spoon. To her embarrassment, she noticed her babysitter had laced her hands over Catherine’s midsection, effectively lifting her nightshirt and leaving her diaper exposed. While she was still covered by the blanket, and no one would ever see inside the house anyway, it still left the poor girl feeling vulnerable to know her infantile state was so unprotected. Every time she attempted to remedy the situation, Delia would hug her tighter and tickle the little girl’s tummy.
Feeling her eyelids becoming heavy, Catherine glanced at the clock to see she still had roughly 45 minutes left to stay up before being put to bed according to Delia’s rules. Certainly she had to take advantage of this treat and stay awake a long as possible! Despite her best attempts she drifted off into a deep sleep before even her normal bedtime. The combined rhythmic breathing of her babysitter, and her warm, comfortable embrace proved too much.
Gentle rocking motions caused Catherine to stir. Her senses were muddled from the sleepy haze that still clung to her, making it difficult to process what was happening. It became aware to her that she was being carried, presumably to her room. The next sense that came to was the feeling between her legs. What happened to her underwear? Memories came flooding back, specifically memories of the diaper. Something else was amiss, yet Catherine’s senses eluded her. “Are you awake, sweetie?” Delia gently whispered, slowly setting the girl down on the bed.
“Mmmnnnnn” Catherine moaned, unable to properly answer. She began grasping for pillows and sheets.
She was once again picked up and assisted in standing. “I need you to go brush your teeth. Then I’ll tuck you into bed.” Delia instructed, waiting for her charge to get going. When she wouldn’t, she gave the little girl a firm pat on the bottom to get going.
In that motion, Catherine was immediately jolted awake upon a certain realization. She rushed off to the bathroom as she was told and shut the door and locked it behind her. With shaky fingers and and apprehension, she looked to the mirror and slowly lifted her nightshirt to reveal the diaper underneath. It looked the same. Catherine couldn’t be certain though, not having inspected it greatly earlier. Holding her breath, the young girl reached down to feel it.
It was wet. Her first accident in four years. Though it didn’t feel or appear to be much, it was an accident nonetheless. Tears threatened her eyes at the slow realization of the impact of the accident. Catherine didn’t want to think about what Delia would do knowing she had somehow devolved into a bed wetter in a single day. Perhaps she could hide it? The thought calmed her down somewhat. Surely Delia would have said something if she knew about the accident. All Catherine had to do at this point was make it back to bed without her babysitter seeing the accident. She would then remove the diaper, dispose of it, and pretend it never happened.
Once her teeth were brushed, and nerves were steeled, she left the bathroom to enact her plan. Softly padding down the hall, her diaper less crinkly than before, she wondered if Delia would even be in her room. Of course, Delia was. “Come on, honey” The babysitter sat on the bed and held her arms out to pick up the girl, as usual, “I’ll help you up.”
“Only babies need help up. I climb onto my bed by myself every day.” Catherine said stoically, despite truly feeling like a baby on the inside. She took the long way around to the foot of the bed to avoid the trap set before her.
She continued climbing as Delia spoke, “Well you may not be a baby,” swiftly, she reached over to lift Catherine’s nightshirt up as the little girl was halfway up the bed, “but you sure look cute like one with this diaper!”
Her wet diaper revealed, Catherine resolved to keep the farce going until she was called out on it. “Hey!” She whined indignantly, tugging the shirt back down as far as it would allow. Had she noticed? Delia’s plastic smile appeared unchanged. Perhaps she had gotten away with it. As Catherine began to pull the sheets up to let herself in, completion of her plan in sight, she was stopped by her babysitter gently grabbing her wrist.
“We’d better change that diaper before you get all snuggled in.” Delia said gently and apologetically.
Caught. In the end she was not able to get away with hiding her accident. Slowly turning to look into her caretaker’s eyes, Catherine began to sniffle, wondering what would happen now. She let the older girl assume all control considering she was in no position to protest or resist. On top of Delia’s domineering diapering ways, she also now had due cause to put Catherine in a new diaper. Four years of being dry at night amounting to nothing as Delia rifled through her diaper bag to get out what Catherine knew would be a diaper and not a pull up. She decided to make the request anyway, “Can I have a pull up instead?”
Delia dumped a few items on the bed; a bottle of baby powder, a Ziploc bag, baby wipes, an item Catherine did not recognize, a folded changing mat, and a diaper that looked suspiciously thicker and more childish than the last, though it must have been Catherine’s imagination. “I’m sorry Cathy, but no.” Delia said sympathetically but seriously as she lifted the little girl’s legs by the ankles with one hand, and slid the chilly plastic pad into place with the other. “You leaked on the couch and me a little bit, so I need to make sure that doesn’t happen again.” A tinge of annoyance could be heard in her tone as she untaped the sides of the used diaper.
Catherine’s eyes went wide at being told that. She gasped as she felt cold wipes were used to clean her diaper area. What would her mother do once Delia told her about the accident? She assumed she would be made to wear pull ups, or maybe even diapers at Delia’s suggestion, every night for weeks or months to come. The horror of the notion was enough to strip away what little pride Catherine may have had left. Turning her attention back to her humiliating diapering, she watched as her babysitter again lifted her legs sky-high to slide her dry diaper into place. Before the powder however, the young girl watched Delia pick up the unknown item and peel a tape off of it and then place it inside the diaper longways. It must have been an absorbent insert. Then came the powder, which the older girl did not skimp on. At long last the front fold of the diaper came up, and the four tapes sealed Catherine into the plastic prison. Sitting up, she thought asking wouldn’t hurt, if anything, “I’m sorry I leaked… Are you going to tell my mom?”
Quiet for a moment, Delia answered slowly, “I’m going to have to. You may be sick and it’s possible you’ll wet your bed tomorrow or the next day. I’ll tell her to get you some diapers to protect your mattress.”
Catherine’s worst fears had come to fruition. Launching herself at her babysitter and latching onto her, she begged, “No!! Please! You can’t! I’ll do anything!” A few tears let loose, “I haven’t wet the bed in four years. This was just a one time thing! I promise!” She continued to bargain.
Delia embraced the crying child, rubbing her back and patting it. “Shhh shhhh it’s okay Cathy, shhh hushhhh” The hug continued like that for two or three more minutes before the older girl lifted the other away to see her tear-stained face. “If what you say is true, then maybe I won’t tell your mommy about this.”
Hope glimmered and lifted Catherine’s spirits as she looked up at Delia smiling through the slowing tears.
“You’ve still wet yourself and you’ll stay in diapers tonight,” Delia began to list her condition as she sank below the bed from Catherine’s view going through the diaper bag once again. The younger girl nervously waited above, playing with the elastic edge of her diaper. Coming back into view, the babysitter held up 3 pink pull ups, each with different princesses or cartoon characters on each. “You’ll wear these for the next three nights, just in case. That way, mommy doesn’t have to find out and your sheets are safe.”
“Thank you thank you thank you!” Catherine said, taking the pull ups and sliding off the bed to put them into her dresser. While taking the short few steps across her room, she was able to confirm the increased thickness of this diaper. While she hated it, she also recognized the logic in wearing it. For tonight at least. Suddenly, though not unexpectedly, Catherine felt herself being lifted from behind and carried over to her waiting bed.
“If you keep having accidents and use all of your pull ups,” Delia explained while pulling the covers over the small girl, “You’ll have to tell your mommy yourself that you’ve been having accidents. Okay?” She asked the younger girl to ensure she understood.
Hiding all reluctance from her voice Catherine answered, “I will. Thanks again for covering for me. You are my favorite now.” She flattered Delia, hoping to eliminate all chance of her changing her mind and relaying the night’s events to her mother.
“Awww! You’re my favorite too! I really hope I get to babysit you again someday soon!” If sugar, sunshine, and rainbows could spill forth from Delia’s mouth they would have during that sentence. She gave Catherine a little kiss on the nose before turning off the lights and standing in the doorway, “Sleep tight, and don’t forget! Be a good baby even after I leave!” Catherine groaned at being called baby for the elevendy-millionth time tonight as Delia shut the door and left her in the dark under her covers.
It took Catherine several minutes of twisting and turning to find a remotely comfortable position with her thick new diaper. Not that the diaper was uncomfortable. It was actually very soft, but still felt foreign and intrusive between her legs. She reached down to feel it, still scarcely believing the night’s events. The plastic material, bunched, scrunched, and rustled with her every touch. Catherine had half a mind to rip the diaper off right now and replace it with her normal underwear. She could not force herself to, though. She was feeling tired anyway, emotionally and physically, despite her still active mind. After a fitful few more adjustments the little girl finally felt at ease enough to drift off into dreamland.
Sleep came and went for Catherine all through the night. Her dreams were fragmented, fuzzy, and forgettable. After breaking out of her slumber for the third time that night she groggily slithered off her elevated bed and padded down the hall towards the kitchen. There the girl grabbed the drinking cup she left for reuse by the sink and poured herself a glass. A common ritual done to help herself sleep at night. Drinking down two or three gulps and dumping the rest, she replaced the cup and turned to leave. At this point, after being awake long enough, Catherine once again became acutely aware of her diaper hearing it’s loud, telling crinkle. Looking over her shoulder to ensure her mother wasn’t there, despite the low chances she tiptoed back into the kitchen. Finding what she needed, the little girl pulled out one large Ziploc bag. She would need it to dispose of the diaper and its smell whether it was used by morning or no. No, it wouldn’t be used by morning.
Carefully and quietly Catherine opened her dresser drawer and retrieved a pair of her normal underwear. She then slipped under the covers of her bed and began to slip the diaper off and down her hips. It wouldn’t budge. Delia had done a fine job of making the fit as tight as possible. The young girl lay there a few moments thinking how to detach the tapes without making noise. She had no intention of sleeping another minute in that diaper. Making her way to the bathroom, with Ziploc and underwear in hand, Catherine sat on the toilet lid and inspected the tapes in the light. Using the toilet flush as a noisy distraction, she seized her opportunity and ripped all 4 tapes off at once. While the tapes were loud, she hoped the bathroom fan and toilet provided enough cover. It seemed her babysitter wasn’t lying about the nature of the tapes. The plastic front was ruined, holes showed the stuffing inside the diaper where three of the four tapes were. It would be impossible to reuse the diaper after taking it off, like she had said. Not caring about the waste of a single diaper Catherine stuffed it into the plastic bag and sealed it. In the mirror she could see there was tons of powder residue left on her body. Using a damped cloth she cleaned up and replaced her normal panties. Back where she belonged at last. Not wanting to risk being seen carrying the trash back to her room Catherine left it hidden in the bathroom cupboard before returning to bed, where she fell into a pleasant, more comfortable sleep.
Friday morning arrived with cracks of sunlight piercing through the small holes in the blinds of Catherine’s room. She was not woken, however, until her mother knocked on the door. “Seven o’clock, Catherine! Time to get up!”
Awoken by Mrs. Soulland, the girl heard the footsteps tapping down the hall and away from her door. She stretched and hopped off the bed, her muscles stiff and unresponsive. Catherine went through her normal school day routine; shower, dress, and breakfast. Knowing her mother would be occupied in the kitchen, Catherine took the chance to sneak back the diaper to her dresser drawer. She would dispose of it more permanently, along with the pull ups, on trash day. Waking up dry that morning had been enough proof she wouldn’t need them
“How was your movie?” Catherine asked while seating herself in front of the mini omelet that was prepared for her.
“Margerie and I had a great time. We shared a bottle of wine with her brother after the movie and stayed up talking and catching up for hours.” She answered, sipping her coffee.
The mention of Margerie’s brother reminded Catherine, “Oh, is Grant flying home for the holiday weekend in two weeks? He said he would try!” Her eyes were wide with optimistic hope at the chance to see her brother.
Mrs. Soulland finished a bite of her toast and a gulp of her coffee. “You can call him after school today and ask him yourself. I haven’t heard from your brother in a few days.”
That left Catherine grinning from ear to ear on drive the way to school and most of the day there. School went as to be expected for Friday. Students and teachers alike were looking forward to the weekend. The young girl managed to talk her algebra teacher into overlooking her missing homework. The teacher still implored that she keep up with studying and at least attempt partial completion of homework assignments.
Catherine did not sit with the other students during lunch. Not that they wouldn’t have her. She simply never made the effort to join them. There were no bullying or snide remarks made behind her back, at least not to her knowledge. The neutral treatment of her made her feel less ostracized. When not finding a spot on her own, she would spend her lunch with a teacher once or twice a week. Catherine assumed they ate with her out of pity, but she still enjoyed the company. She preferred the company of the adults over her peers anyway.
Towards the end of lunch Catherine went to wash her hands in the bathroom as she usually did. Through the running water and scrubbing of her hands she heard a distinct, familiar noise coming from one of the stalls. Could it be? It must have been her imagination. But again, through the noise of the hand drier this time, she heard the same noise. There was no mistaking it. Someone was changing a diaper in one of the stalls. Casually glancing over her shoulder Catherine only saw one other pair of feet in the bathroom besides her own. She exited the bathroom, knowing the girl wouldn’t risk coming out of the stall with a used diaper while she stayed there. Still, her curiosity was not satisfied. Standing inconspicuously nearby Catherine waited for her mark to leave the bathroom. Seeing the other girl leave at last, the inquisitive girl tailed her target. After three or four minutes of reconnaissance Catherine found the girl to be Jenny, a student she shared class rotation with. There was no mistaking the bulge under the girl’s jeans if anyone was looking for it.
The bell tone sounded signifying lunch’s end. Catherine had no intention of confronting the girl about her diapers at the time. Instead of paying attention in classes she spent most of the time deep in thought formulating all possibilities to why she may be wearing diapers at school. All plausibilities seemed just as unlikely as Jenny wearing a diaper in the first place. Yet the proof sat less than fifteen feet away from her. These kinds of anomalies interested Catherine and gave her reprieve from the dullness of school.
Final bell rang and students poured from the classrooms like water to go enjoy their weekend. Catherine lost track of Jenny in the crowd and had to abandon her research. The next hour was spent leaning up against a chain linked fence near the front of the school waiting for her mother to pick her up. Just after finishing one of her assignments Mrs. Soulland pulled into the pickup area. Catherine shoved her schoolwork hastily into her backpacked and fastened her seatbelt for the ride home.
“Sorry I’m late today sweetie. Had to close out a sale. We’re going to the store to get groceries by the way.” Mrs. Soulland apologized and amended.
It didn’t matter much to Catherine anyway. Her mind was preoccupied with the excitement of talking to her brother later today and the mystery surrounding Jenny.
The woman and her daughter entered the supermarket together and immediately found the clearance rack, their favorite place in the store. While Catherine didn’t have to worry about money she had learned from her mother to always be frugal. After, disappointingly, finding nothing of use the family moved on to the rest of the store.
“I’m going to look around, I’ll find you by the checkout when I’m done.” Catherine stated, beginning to walk away from her mother and the cart.
“Alright, be careful!” Mrs. Soulland warned. She didn’t like to let her daughter run amok by herself in the store, but she was trying to force herself to let Catherine be more independent little by little.
Catherine feinted going towards the toys section of the market before changing course and finding the aisle she was really looking for. There was an entire half aisle dedicated to diapers here. Surely she would find what she was looking for, but inspecting each package proved to be a time-consuming job. It had been some time before a voice from behind took Catherine by surprise.
“Having accidents?” A teasing voice said gently.
The little girl spun about to see her babysitter from the night before standing over her, a smug look about her face. She was interrupted before she could give any sort of response.
“Delia! What a surprise!” Mrs. Soulland exclaimed as she pushed the cart full of groceries closer to the girls, “What brings you to the diaper aisle?”
“Oh you know. I have to stock up on babysitting supplies from time to time. Toys, games, diapers, etc.”
“Of course, of course.” Mrs. Soulland agreed. “I’m glad I saw you. I was actually planning on giving you a call once we got home. I have fly out for a wedding tomorrow and fly back on Sunday.”
Catherine remembered how she had declined wanting to go when her mother mentioning the wedding some time ago.
“I know it’s short notice,” The woman continued in a beseeching manner “and I know you probably have better things to do, but do you think you could watch Cathy for a day and a half this weekend?”
Holding her hand up in a gesture to stop Delia smiled. “Say no more Mrs. Soulland. I’d love to watch little Cathy. We got along like sisters last night. Right Cathy?” She called over.
Catherine was not paying attention. She was transfixed looking at the wall of diapers. Where were they?
“Catherine.” Mrs. Soulland said sternly getting her daughter’s attention. “Delia was speaking to you.”
“Oh uh yeah. Delia’s really nice.” Catherine faked her enthusiasm towards her babysitter. Truthfully she held no preference for Delia over any of her other previous babysitters.
“What are looking for here on the diaper aisle sweetie?” The mother asked her daughter in a quizzical tone. She had just now noticed the strangeness of this meeting point.
“I was just wondering how diapers are made.” Catherine quickly lied. She hoped all the talk of diapers wouldn’t cause Delia to bring up anything about last night. She had promised. The possibility still worried the young girl.
“Well, we’ll let you go Delia. Again, thanks so much for agreeing to watch her. I’ll call you later with the details.” The older woman waved goodbye and began pushing the cart away. Catherine followed behind.
The mother and daughter finished checking out and pushed the groceries across the parking lot out to the car. Catherine had convinced her mother to buy her a journal while at the store and she was already busy filling it up as soon as the car began moving. The drive home was pleasant. Mrs. Soulland played her favorite country radio station and cranked the heater up. Fall was underway and the trend of the weather began to show it. Autumn was Catherine’s favorite time of year. Autumn to her meant pumpkin pie, colorful leaves, warm coats, and best of all family holiday dinners. The loud crank of the parking brake sounded and the young girl let herself out of the car.
After helping to bring the groceries in Catherine went straight for the home phone and dialed up her brother. Every drone of the dialing tone left her bouncing in her seat with giddy anticipation.
Her brother finally picked up on the last tone. “Hello?”
“Hi Grant!” Catherine responded with great enthusiasm.
“Hey Einstein! How have you been? Play any good chess games lately?”
Catherine omitted the game with Delia last night. She didn’t want any chance of having to recount any memories of yesterday. The siblings carried on catching up for nearly half an hour talking about school, their mother, games, the new dog Grant’s housemate got, and above all missing each other. Towards the end of the conversation Catherine finally dropped the question. “So are you going to fly out here for Columbus Day weekend?”
The fact that he did not respond right away was enough to realize the answer. Catherine’s heart sank.
“I’m sorry Catherine…” Grant began. “… but I do have some good news. I shipped your birthday present today!”
Masking her disappointment the girl feigned her joy. “Ooooh what’d you get me?”
“I’ll never tell! You’ll just have to wait. It’s still a month until your birthday and you can’t open it early!” The older brother admonished.
“How are you going to enforce that?” She asked teasingly. Her interest was legitimately piqued now. “If I find the package before mom does…”
“Don’t even think about it!” Grant knew his sister was kidding but still went along with it. “Besides, I’ll know when you open it.”
“Whaaat? There’s no way you would know.” Catherine called his bluff.
“I will. Trust me. Brothers have instincts with these kinds of things.” He answered smugly. “I have to go now alright? Be good for mom!”
“I always am. I love you Grant.” She said solemnly, not wanting him to hang up yet.
“I love you too Catherine. We’ll talk again real soon.” Click.
Sighing in acceptance, Catherine returned the phone to its hook and retreated to her room where she wrote in her journal more. It would be a long two months until Thanksgiving before the siblings would see each other in person again. While writing in her journal the girl could hear her mother packing for her short trip. After about an hour there was a knock at the bedroom door.
“Cathy, do you want to watch a movie with me tonight?” The mother spoke through the door without opening it.
A movie sounded dull to Catherine. At least all movies her mother would approve of for a child her age sounded dull. Just the thought of eyes fixed on the television watching shows or movies put Catherine in a slump. Fifteen minutes of TV last night had been enough. “No thanks mom.”
“…I guess I’ll just have to eat this whole pizza by myself thennnn.” Mrs. Soulland sang, her voice swaggering away.
The door clicked open and Catherine was on her mother’s heels in an instant. “You drive a hard bargain.” She admitted. Take out was a rare treat in their home.
The little family of two enjoyed pizza from the comfort of the couch while watching a short romance movie. Mrs. Soulland made sure to cover Catherine’s eyes during the particularly steamy scenes. Catherine would complain indignantly at the censorship. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t seen before. She and all the other 5th graders had to watch the puberty/sex education video during the first month school. She didn’t care much to see anyway. It was the act of her mother deeming her not mature enough that got to her. The movie was predictable right up until the end. Happily ever after. Catherine gave thanks for the pizza and excused herself after putting away the dishes.
The rest of her night was spent switching between reading a book, playing Chessmates, and writing in her journal. Each entry in the journal was painstakingly written and took much more time than her normal writings would. Satisfied with the work she had done so far Catherine put the girly pink journal aside and pulled from under her bed a much nicer looking diary. She opened its leather cover by the metal corners to the place she had last left off. This was her real journal. The thoughts and musings she wrote on the pages of this journal were her normal style and form. In the new diary she received today, she tried her best to emulate the penmanship and grammatical mistakes of a classmate whose essays she had peer reviewed many times before. Many students sought her out in class for any sort of group work or evaluation because of her academic talent. It was nice to be looked up to sometimes.
“Catherine honey, can I come in?” The voice came from just outside the door once again.
“Sure mom.” Catherine calmly hid the black journal under her pillow and swapped it for the pink girly one.
“My plane leaves at noon tomorrow, so I have to leave around ten.” Mrs. Soulland let herself in and took a seat next to her daughter. “I know you’ll probably want to sleep in since it’s the weekend. Do you want me to just say goodbye tonight and let you sleep in? I’ll tell Delia not to wake you.” She offered.
If Delia were to see Catherine in bed without a pull up on punishment would surely follow. And she had no intentions of wearing one tonight, or the next two nights for that matter. “No, I’ll see you tomorrow morning. I won’t sleep in that late.” She said sweetly.
“Okay then. Bedtime in half an hour by the way.” The woman smiled back and stood to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight sweetie.” The door was closed once again.
“Love you. Night” Catherine quietly said back.
Half an hour later the young girl was brushing her teeth and preparing for bed like she had been told. After getting on a pair of thick sweats and sleeper tank, Catherine went over to her dresser and gingerly brought one of the pull ups out. She didn’t need it. But what if she did? Was last night a fluke? Or would she wake up to a wet bed tomorrow morning? Without fully realizing what she was doing the girl slowly began to slide her pants down. It was just a pull up. Just a precaution. Nothing embarrassing about it. She stepped out of the sweats and stared at the childish thing she held in her hands. Her pride wasn’t worth the risk. With trembling hands she hooked her thumbs on the inside of the pull up and lowered it down to her feet-
No! What was she doing? Catherine snapped out of her daze, angrily tossing the pull up aside, and put her pants back on. She then retrieved the pull up and put it back with the others. It still looked untouched with no evidence that she had succumbed to its humiliating embrace. Good. The lights were turned out and covers were pulled up to the little girl’s chin. She slowly began to fall asleep putting all thoughts of diapers and bed wetting as far out of her mind as possible. Instead she planned possible conversations with Delia and how she would disengage from her to spend her weekend in peace.
“I won’t wet the bed. I can’t,” were Catherine’s last thoughts before sleep took her.
Garbled words woke Catherine from her deep sleep. They sounded distant. Or were they underwater? “Come on Catherine, wake up!” Mrs. Soulland said, gently shaking her daughter awake. “Delia is here and I’m leaving.”
Catherine was vaguely aware of a faint dampness in her sheets as her senses came into focus. Oh no! Her mother had already turned and left, seeing Catherine come to. The little girl lifted the sheets to inspect the damage. Nothing. There was no accident. The dampness must have just been from night sweats. She did have more blankets than was necessary that night. Satisfied at another triumph of proving Delia wrong, Catherine padded out to the front door to say goodbyes. Her bare feet slapped loudly on the hardwood floor in the morning quiet of the house.
The two ladies were standing by the entryway talking when they noticed Catherine enter the room. “There’s my sleeping beauty!” Delia exclaimed, going over to the little girl and bringing her in for a hug.
Perhaps it was just her imagination, or maybe because it was early, but Catherine could swear she felt Delia tug at the back of her sweats and stick her thumb just into the waistband of her panties. As if she were looking for something.
“Alright Delia, I’ll leave the rest to you. Emergency contacts are in the same place as last time, I gave you the lunch and dinner money already, and… I think that’s everything.” Mrs. Soulland trailed off trying to remember if she had forgotten anything important. “Cathy can fill you in on anything you may need to find in the house or other small details. You be good for Delia, alright honey? You do everything she tells you to.” She said leaning down and placing a hand on her daughter’s cheek.
“I will mom. I’ll miss you.” Catherine answered with a big hug.
“I’ll miss you too. Call me if you need anything Delia!” The door swung open and the fluorescent glow of light filled the living room as the two girls waved goodbye to Mrs. Soulland.
“Have a safe trip!” Delia called out as she closed the door. The babysitter turned to Catherine and squatted to her height and smiled widely. “So did you have any accidents on Thursday after I left? I checked you one last time before I left but you were still dry.”
Of course that would be the first subject for Delia to bring up. “No. I was dry.” Catherine replied with noticeable self-satisfaction. Her voice masked the indignity she felt at having her diaper checked while she slept.
“And did you wear your pull up last night?” Delia continued her invasive interrogation and pulled down Catherine’s pants enough to see the waistband of her underwear. “You’re not wearing it right now…” She said with an accusatory tone looking into her charge’s eyes.
Pulling her pants back up and folding her arms Catherine quickly made up an excuse. “I didn’t want to risk my mom noticing so I took it off after she left the room. And no, I didn’t have an accident last night either.”
“Just like a big girl! I’m so proud of you!” The older girl stood and picked up the large, dreaded diaper bag and slung it over her shoulder. “I guess I was wrong to diaper you on Thursday and make you wear pull ups Catherine. You’ve proven to me that you’re a big girl by doing what I asked and wearing protection the last two nights.”
Catherine felt a beam of pride as she was praised by her babysitter. Even if it was based on a lie. It seems she had finally earned some respect, and the issues from two nights ago would be put behind them.
“So you don’t have to wear protection any more. I’ll take back the two pull ups you didn’t use yet. I’ll save those for someone who actually needs them!” Delia began walking towards the little girl’s room.
Fear shot down Catherine’s spine as she pieced together what was about to happen. She had to think of a way to inconspicuously stop Delia from going into her room, and fast! “You don’t have to go do that! I’m a big girl. I’ll go get them for you.” She continued with a suggestion noticing Delia’s pace was not slowing. “You can go unpack and make yourself at home in my mom’s room.” Perfect excuse!
“That’s awfully sweet of you Cathy!” Delia stopped just in front of Catherine’s room. It seemed the plan had worked. “-but I really don’t mind” She opened the door and walked in, approaching the dresser.
Catherine knew it was over by the point. There would be no getting rid of her the second she stepped foot inside the room. Time to face the music. With a heavy swallow she stepped in behind her babysitter and watched helplessly as she rifled through the dresser drawers searching for the pull ups. It was all Catherine could do but to stay quiet and stare nervously at the ground. It was another checkmate.
Delia stopped in shock when she found the right dresser. “Catherine…” She said slowly turning to face the younger girl, holding the three clearly unused pull ups in her hands. “Do these look used to you?” The older girl held them out while asking the rhetorical question.
Catherine still stared at the ground, too afraid to make eye contact with her babysitter. Fidgeting did little to calm her nerves much less get her out of the trouble she was in.
“Catherine. Look at me.” Delia then gently brought Catherine to look into her eyes by lifting her chin. “Did you, or did you not, wear one of these pull ups last night?”
Should she tell the truth to reduce the punishment? Would telling the truth even alleviate any punishment at all? “No…” was all Catherine could whisper out.
“No, what, Catherine?” The sentence was left hanging. Delia clearly expected her to finish it.
“No. I didn’t wear a pull up last night. And I took off the diaper Thursday night.” May as well come fully clean at this point. “But I was-” A firm finger on her lips silenced her.
“You’ve betrayed my trust Catherine.” The older girl’s words were slow, heavy, and sad. She reached down and began to lift Catherine off the ground.
At first she thought that Delia had been coming in for a hug. That somehow all was forgiven. That was not the case. Delia hoisted her little body over her tall athletic shoulders and carried her out to the living room. Catherine was scared and left to wonder what bizarre punishment lay in store for her. Soon Delia stopped and lowered Catherine to the ground. She still wore the angry and disappointed face that marked betrayal. Once again the little tried to apologize and defend her point of view. “I’m sor-” Catherine was interrupted by Delia putting a finger to her lips to silence her again. Before she could protest or whine Catherine felt herself being forced into the corner of the room.
There, Delia grabbed both of Catherine’s hands and placed them on the wall, making sure the girl’s nose was well close to the corner. “You will stay like that until I say you can move. Understand?” She said coldly.
Catherine was afraid to respond, unsure if the question needed an answer or not. When she felt a light smack on her bottom she yelped, “Yes! I understand!” Footsteps faded away as Delia sighed and walked back towards the hall. Left alone with her humiliation, Catherine fought back tears. She was in a terrible place. Catherine shifted uncomfortably from the awkwardness of the position she was in. On top of the corner time she was receiving, she felt terrible for deceiving Delia. If only she had worn the pull up last night like she was told to! She cursed her pride for getting her into this situation. If she had any thoughts of crossing Delia or ignoring her instructions before, she certainly didn’t now.
The sound of footsteps coming caused Catherine to hold her breath. Delia didn’t stop to dish out more punishment though. Instead the footsteps continued on into the kitchen. For the next twenty minutes Catherine could hear what sounded like a meal being prepared. She couldn’t be sure. There were bags and containers being opened and closed, the light clank of silverware, and pouring of liquids. An involuntary gurgle came from the little girl’s stomach. She hadn’t eaten breakfast yet and it was beginning to show.
Another ten minutes passed until at last Delia called out from Catherine’s room. “Catherine, come in here.” Her tone sounded less angry and harsh now.
Doing exactly as she was told, the little girl took a few precious seconds to stretch her sore body before rushing off to meet Delia. She entered her room cautiously, fearful of what awaited her. Looking around, she noticed nothing out of place except for Delia and the diaper bag. She cleared her throat at the sight of it.
“Sit down with me Catherine.” Delia patted the place on the bed beside her.
“I like you Catherine,” The babysitter said as the little girl sat beside her. She wrapped her arm around her charge. “You’re a smart, sweet, little girl. But you need to understand that when I tell you to do something, you do it whether you like it or not. I am your babysitter and I know what is in your best interest.” Her grip around Catherine’s waist tightened a bit. “I could have told your mommy about your accident and you would be wearing diapers every night. But I didn’t. I did you a favor.” Delia rose off the bed went to Catherine’s dresser.
Surprise struck Catherine when she saw Delia reveal a pull up from the dresser. Why had she put them back? Delia began to push her onto her flat onto the bed and remove her pants and panties. Catherine dared not resist and simply let her babysitter do all the work. Once her bottoms were off, the older girl patted her thighs and held the pull up open for her to slip into. Taking the hint Catherine slid off the bed and into the padded underwear. It felt better than a diaper, though not by much. The feeling of it tightly hugging her butt confirmed its babyness as memories of the last time she wore pull ups surfaced in her memory.
“There,” The babysitter said with a smile finally returning to her face. “You’re going to wear this for the rest of the day until you get ready for bed tonight. This is what you owe me for not wearing last night.”
Glad that her babysitter seemed to be happy again, Catherine reluctantly accepted the terms of the punishment if it meant no more corner time. Embarrassing underwear was something she could deal with. And unlike the diaper, this still allowed her to use the bathroom. Catherine embraced her babysitter in an apologetic hug, “I’m sorry I lied to you, Delia. It’ll never happen again.” She promised.
“I know you won’t baby” The hug was returned and Delia patted Catherine’s bottom as if to remind her of the difference in authority. “Let’s get you out of those pajamas and into some daytime clothes, okay?” Delia had already begun pulling off the tank top her charge wore without getting a confirmation. It was less of a question than a statement.
Allowing her babysitter to choose the clothes for the day, Catherine let herself be dressed in a black tee shirt and jeans; a surprisingly normal choice. She had honestly expected to be forced to wear the cutesy white dress from Thursday. Though to her dismay Catherine noticed in the mirror that her pull up would peek out of her jeans if she ever crouched or bent over. Delia then took her by the hand and escorted her out to the kitchen where lunch waited. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! They even had the crusts cut off. Catherine scarfed down the sandwiches while the older girl was content to eat the crusts.
Every moment was one way or the other with Delia. Catherine couldn’t quite place how she felt towards her babysitter. On one hand Delia had made more effort to interact with her than any other babysitter before. She was even kind, sympathetic, and generous at times. On the other hand Delia was also intimidating, controlling, and her oppressor. If Catherine kept in line and stayed observant she was sure she would be able to suck up and flatter Delia into being the perfect babysitter for her. A lot of adults were like that. All it would take is time. “Thank you so much for lunch Delia!” Catherine said in a sing song voice while snuggling up behind her babysitter.
“My my, someone sure is affectionate today!” She cleaned off the dishes while she spoke. “So where do you want to go today?”
“Erm, I was just planning on playing chess on the computer or reading a book today. I don’t really want to go out.” Catherine did her best to disengage the proposal. In truth, she would like to at least go to the library to check out new books and return old ones.
Ever predictable, Delia was having none of it. “Of course you want to go out! We’ll go wherever you want first, then we can go get you a better shirt to cover up this.” The babysitter said, expertly plucking the pull up into view out from the backside of Catherine’s jeans.
“Okay okay.” She tore away from Delia. “I know a couple places I want to go. The library and the downtown park. I need to return some books and see somebody.” Catherine answered cryptically before running off to get her books.
The car engine gently hummed to life and the girls began their day out. Delia had teased Catherine earlier by asking if she needed a change yet or if she had gone potty before they left. Luckily that teasing had served as a good reminder to use the bathroom for Catherine who had taken full advantage of the suggestion. In the car, surfing through the radio channels, Delia tried to find some music both of them would like. After getting rejections from One Direction, Miley Cyrus, and Justin Bieber they eventually settled on a random mixed genre station. Catherine did surprisingly well navigating them towards the library, their first stop, which Delia commended her on. It was a short walk from the sparsely occupied parking lot to the library entrance.
“Ooooo hello Catherine!” A dusty, old, kindly voice called quietly out from the main desk as the pair walking into the library.
“Hi Marta!” Catherine called back similarly. She hefted eight books onto the counter with a little effort. “Plenty of returns today.”
“Oh my! Read all of them in just two weeks?” Marta asked while she scanned the books one by one and took them to a shelf behind the desk.
“I only read seven. I hated the Hunger Games and couldn’t finish it.” Catherine stuck her tongue out to show her disgust.
Once all the books were filed away, Marta returned to face the two. “Oh where are my manners? I’m Marta. And you must be…?” The elderly woman held out a handshake for Delia.
“I’m Delia; Catherine’s babysitter-” Marta, Catherine, and at least 3 other people seated in the library turned in her direction and sharply shushed her, “SHHHH” Delia slowly held her hands up defensively. “Sorry!” Her tone corrected for the appropriate volume.
“Well” Marta broke the silence. “You can check out a full ten books again dearie. Let me know if you need any help finding something.”
Nodding and quietly rushing off, Catherine began winding through nearly every avenue of books. Her babysitter quietly followed behind. If Catherine had bothered to look she would see Delia’s clearly bored face. Still, the babysitter followed every which way that the little girl went. The pile of books she had picked out thus far was beginning to stack up. Catherine used the begrudging Delia as a pack mule for another hour before finally being satisfied with her choices. The two made their way over to Marta’s desk.
Scanning in all the books, Marta handed them back to Catherine with a big wrinkly smile. The young girl grinned back and thanked her from behind the tower or books that nearly obscured her face. The elderly woman said her cheery goodbyes as the pair left the library. Catherine hefted the books into the back seat of the car into the baby car seat and buckled herself back into the child’s booster seat in the front of the car.
“Oh! We forgot to return a book!” Delia exclaimed while grabbing for a book near Catherine’s feet.
“No no no, that’s not a library book. That’s mine.” The younger girl reached out to stop Delia from grabbing the book while she spoke.
“Oh, why did you bring it then?” Her babysitter asked curiously. Catherine remained cryptically unresponsive as the car started up and sped down the roads towards the downtown park. Despite asking several more times, Catherine would still not give Delia a straight answer regarding the book. It irked the older girl, and Catherine reveled in it. It felt to her as a sort of pseudo-revenge to annoy her babysitter so.
The car grinded to a halt in the gravel parking lot and the two girls exited the vehicle. The younger girl had brought along the book with her as they began to trek down the paved path that winded through the green park. Delia found her mind wandering as she watched children at play in various parts of the playground, seeing them on the swings, playing frisbee, or running around the playground.
“Don’t you want to go play on the play-structure?” The babysitter legitimately suggested to Catherine, noticing she was still walking on the pavement with a purpose.
The little girl responded indignantly, “I came here to meet someone, not play baby games.” She clutched the book ever tighter.
Once they had passed the play structure, Delia saw Catherine’s true goal come into sight. They slowly approached several public stone, checkered tables where four old men sat playing their games.
“Hi Smitty!” Catherine called out to one of the older men, rushing over to him with her arms outstretched for a hug. The aging man turned, seeming confused for a moment, and warmly returned the girl’s hug.
“Ooooh Catherine! So good to hear from you!” Smitty murmured in a raspy voice. “Do you have time for a game today?” He adjusted his dark, outdated sunglasses as he spoke.
“Of course I do!” The young girl answered without giving her babysitter so much as a glance for approval, though Delia did not mind. The three of them made introductions and small talk as the two old men finished their current chess game.
Once Smitty had soundly beaten his opponent, Catherine sat down to take his place. She had never beaten Smitty before and was already working to suppress her nerves. Today might finally be the day she toppled her greatest opponent. Smitty fumbled with his pieces slightly, carefully feeling the shape of each piece, and Catherine helped him set up his side of the board after hers. At last the game began. The two raged a silent intellectual war, each taking great care before making a move. They also called out the positions and piece’s names before moving the tokens. Neither player had lost a single piece even after twelve turns.
Delia noticed something odd about the way Smitty played. He would call out his move, but Catherine would be the one to move the token most of the time. The man was old, but Delia still felt it was rude that he make the younger girl do all the work. It was still an interesting match to watch. The older girl noticed that Catherine was playing completely differently from their own match two days ago. She was left to wonder why in silence.
At last some pawns and others began to be taken from both sides. It looked as though Catherine was gaining the upper hand. “A2 Bishop to C4. Check.” The little girl breathed cautiously as if even a slightly wrong inhale could throw off her game. It was obvious that she was nervous but focused. Victory was within sight.
Smitty scratched his chin loudly and looked forward, as if looking behind his opponent. “King to E5.” He said gruffly. The old man’s face betrayed to trace of his strategy. The thick glasses helped make for one hell of a poker face.
Catherine gave chase to the enemy king, putting Smitty in check nearly every turn for the next several moves. If the older man was worried, he showed no signs. Suddenly the tables were turned when Smitty called out his own check; his queen threatening the enemy king. The young girl was completely unprepared for the counter attack.
Two more moves and it was over, “Queen to A1. Checkmate.” Smitty said with a smile. Catherine reluctantly moved Smitty’s queen into place with one final ‘tack’ from the stone table. “You shouldn’t give chase like that. Not when I still had so many options.”
“But I thought that–“ Catherine tried to defend her tactics. She was cut off when Smitty held up a hand for silence.
“Forget what you think!” The old man gave his sagely advice, “You need to be worried about what I think when you’re playing! Now, do you have my prize for winning today?” He rubbed his hands together with excitement.
“Of course.” The young girl answered, “I always bring it. It’ll probably be years before I beat you.” She loudly tapped the book that she was holding.
“Don’t sell yourself short kiddo. You get better every game.” The elderly man consoled her and stood up with some effort and assistance from a cane he held.
Only then did Delia make sense of the odd old man. He was blind.
Delia silently walked with Catherine and Smitty to a nearby bench. There, the young girl opened the book and began reading to the old man. It warmed the babysitter’s heart to see such a kind and sweet scenario. She could hardly believe that this was the same girl she had punished earlier today. It gave her the slightest sense of guilt. Delia suggested they get going after half an hour of reading. “We still have a few errands to run, why don’t we get going soon?”
Catherine denied the suggestion. “We’ll go when I finish the chapter.” She had said and continued reading.
Taken back by the assertiveness of her charge, Delia suppressed her annoyance at being told what to do by the younger girl. It was her own fault for phrasing it as a suggestion rather than a command. She patiently waited until Catherine was done reading. The girls said their goodbyes to Smitty and walked back through the park to car.
The car was silent a while as it drove on to its next destination. “That was a really nice thing you did back there Catherine. Reading to Smitty” Delia broke the silence.
“Yeah.” She took the compliment flatly not knowing what to say. “Where are we going anyway? Home is the other way.” Catherine pointed out.
The car turned a corner and the destination came into view. “We’re going to do a little clothes shopping.” Delia pointed to one of the buildings in the shopping center. Two minutes later the car was parked.
Opening the car door to let herself out, Catherine stood up and felt an odd sensation. It felt as though she had forgotten a drink on her lap and now felt it spill over her pants. Shock struck her as she realized what had happened. She had an accident in her pull up. It was difficult to tell, but the accident felt like it wasn’t too bad. But that wouldn’t be how Delia would see it, she thought. How had this happened? She just used the bathroom two hours ago and had nothing to drink since then! This wasn’t an accident- it was a loss of control. She hadn’t felt it coming at all, and that terrified Catherine. She kept pace with Delia, wondering how she would hide the accident and keep it hidden.
Once inside, the babysitter led her charge over to the juniors clothing section, much to her surprise. “Why are we in the junior’s department? I thought for sure you would try to get me to wear toddler dresses.” Catherine admitted.
“Do you want to go try on little dresses?” Delia asked with surprise, making a grab for Catherine’s hand. “I was just kidding. There’s plenty of cute things for you to wear here too. As long as we can find some in extra small.” She said continuing to look the clothing racks.
The shopping trip seemed more for Delia than it did for Catherine. While Delia picked up shirts, pants, and dresses for Catherine to try on, the little girl stood by the side trying to ignore her accident and formulate a defense against any possible confrontations with Delia. While absentmindedly following her babysitter, Catherine noticed with horror that they were headed to the changing rooms. She grimly thought that changing rooms would soon have a double meaning in her case if Delia saw her pull up.
“Alright let’s see how cute you look in these!” Delia said while dumping the new clothes into a pile on the floor of the small dressing stall.
“You don’t have to help me try these on. I’ll just come out and show you after I get them on myself.” Catherine tried to push her babysitter out of the stall only to find she wasn’t nearly strong enough to force her out.
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to!” Delia shut door in spite of Catherine’s protests.
The young girl was running out of options as she saw the first item Delia was unfolding were a pair of pants. She made her decision. “Delia?” the girl said quietly tugging on the older girl’s shirt.
Delia leaned down to better hear Catherine’s hushed words. “What is it, honey?”
Nearly choking on her words, Catherine whispered, “I think I had an accident.” She fought to hold back the tears, dreading what may come next.
“Awwww, Cathy…” Delia sympathized with the younger girl pulling her in for a hug.
Catherine genuinely returned the hug. It made her feel better. Though she immediately felt worse as Delia began to unbutton her jeans and slide then down mid-hug. She stood in front of her babysitter with a wet pull up on and pants around her ankles, feeling very small.
“Oh, honey, we’ve got to get you changed right now.” Delia said as she checked the pull up. The diaper bag was unslung from her shoulder and set on the floor of the changing room.
“Right now? Catherine whispered hoarsely. The ceiling appeared to have no cameras and the stalls adjacent to hers were empty putting her immediate concerns to rest. “It was just a little accident…” She tried to convince her babysitter to stop searching through the diaper bag for what she feared. Catherine’s fears were confirmed as Delia produced the same items that she had used two nights before and set them on the bench after clearing off the new clothes.
“Let’s make this quick Catherine. Accidents are accidents and you need some new protection.” Delia patted the plastic changing mat that she had laid down.
“No! I’m not going to wear a diaper during the day! I’ll just wear another pull up!” Catherine hissed, trying to bargain a way out from be diapered. If she wasn’t able to talk her way out of this she would end up just like Jenny; with a telling bulge under her jeans.
Delia gave a short frustrated sigh and grabbed Catherine’s wrist, reeling the girl in to her doom. “Be a big girl for me, Cathy. Lay down.” Her voice became more stern with every word.
It was no use. If she continued to resist she would surely be punished. There was no way out. Catherine left herself be pushed onto the changing mat and stared at the wall in shame. She couldn’t bear to look at Delia as the older girl disposed of the pull up and began diapering her.
The changing was done in very short order. Delia had not been kidding about making it quick. Soon Catherine was standing in the center of the changing room wearing nothing but a diaper and socks, feeling very much like a doll as Delia helped her to try on various outfits. She took much care to control her movements and prevent the diaper from crinkling whenever other women entered the adjacent stalls.
Twelve outfits and twenty minutes later they were done trying on clothes. Catherine actually found an outfit she particularly liked. It was a red mini dress that halted at the top of her knees and a black canvas half-jacket. Ordinarily she would find the dress to be too short, especially for fear of her diaper poking out, but when she saw herself in the mirror she felt very… mature. It was enough to cancel out the feeling of the diaper between her legs.
“Are you sure about buying this for me? I feel kind of guilty just taking it from you.” Catherine asked while helping to fold the rest of the clothes.
“Don’t worry about the money. I know a girl here.” Delia winked at the girl to reassure her. “Besides I couldn’t let you wear your old clothes out of the store. Everyone would be able to see your… you know.”
Catherine blushed at being reminded of the diaper she wore beneath the short dress. It was still a better option than the clothes she came in with. Based on how the diaper seated around her waist she assumed it would have been impossible to conceal with her jeans or shirt. Catherine thanked her babysitter for the clothes, but was still frustrated that Delia had forced her to wear a diaper. She followed the older girl out of changing room and helped her to return all the other clothes she had tried on. Delia led Catherine away from the checkout stand to find her friend. Catherine was a bit nervous walking around the store wearing clothes with tags still on them. She expected to be accused of stealing at every turn.
They approached a short girl folding clothes. “Hey Brook!” Delia called out as they walked up to the employee.
“Heyyyy girlfriend! What a surprise!” Her unusually deep voice surprised Catherine. “And who’s this you have with you?” Brook asked as she smiled down at the younger girl.
“Brook, this is Catherine; my latest little one to look after.” The babysitter explained condescendingly. “We’re here getting her these hot new clothes. Think you can cut us a deal?”
Brook tapped the rim of her thin glasses and smiled mischievously. “You know I’m not allowed to use my discount on friends…” Brook said sarcastically. It was clear she would make the exception anyway. The girls were led to different checkout stand where there were no other customers. “Come behind the counter for me sweetie.” Brook beckoned Catherine over with her hand.
Catherine nervously did as she was told. She felt strange and out of place going behind the counter. Everything looked very different from that side. Was that what the employees saw every day? The little girl was ripped from her daydream as Brook began gently tugging at parts of her outfit, looking for the tags and scanning them with the laser reader. After each tag was scanned, the older girl would rip them off. It took Catherine completely by surprise when Brook lifted her dress slightly to find the tag that was attached to the inside hem. She was too mortified to even respond as the dress stayed lifted a moment longer and the tag was pulled off. Had Brook seen? If Brook had seen, she made no mention of the diaper.
After the items were all paid for Delia and Catherine said their thanks and goodbyes and left the store. As they passed people on the way out of the store and to the car, Catherine tensed up. With each encounter she slowly became more and more comfortable with the idea of walking around in a diaper in public. She tried to convince herself over and over that no one could possibly see it and that it was highly unlikely that anyone would hear it beneath her dress. Assuring herself of all that helped to alleviate some of the embarrassment. Looking at it logically proved to her that is was less of a big deal than she was making it out to be. But at the end of the day, she was still a ten year old girl wearing a diaper; not something to be particularly proud of.
Delia was more talkative during the car ride back than she had been during previous drives. She droned on and on asking Catherine questions about school, boys, and family. Catherine was bored of the conversation and usually gave one word answers until family was brought up. She took control of the conversation and talked about her brother most of the way home. It seemed Delia had finally found an avenue to get Catherine to be open about. Her love for her brother seemed infinite, at least. The car brake cranked loudly again as they pulled to a stop in the driveway.
“So what do you want to do now? We could play house or dress up!” Delia suggested as she opened up the front door and laid the diaper bag by the couch.
Unsure of how to respond, Catherine paused for a short moment. She had originally planned to retreat to her room and read until dinner, but Delia had so far been… entertaining. Never had she bonded with any babysitter so much before. While it was partly Catherine’s fault for never reaching out to them, Delia had made the effort where other babysitters had not. Still, Catherine owed nothing to her babysitter. The older girl would likely just find more ways to humiliate and babyify her with her stupid games and rules.
“I’m just going to go read my new books.” Catherine hefted the pile of books she carried to obviously point them out.
Not seeming satisfied Delia remained persistent. “All by yourself? What am I going to do for fun then?” The young adult whined.
“I don’t know.” Catherine shrugged. “You can play dress up by yourself.” She called over her shoulder coldly as she trudged back to her room. Catherine heard an indignant ‘humph’ from Delia as she tossed the books onto the bed and closed the door.
Getting comfortable, Catherine found a book and nestled into her pillows against the wall and began reading. The story took her mind off all the things that were bothering her: her diaper, school, missing her brother, and accidents. Turning each page lazily passed the minutes into hours. She had finished nearly a third of the book by the time dinner rolled around. It also occurred to her that she had to use the bathroom. This presented a problem. Did Delia’s rule of not removing the diaper still apply? If so, how was she supposed to use the toilet? The diaper was secured again in such a way that made it impossible to slide down her hips. Surely Delia didn’t expect her to use the diaper. Then again, Catherine had a sinking feeling that was the case. The only thing left to do now was decide if she should ask, go, or defy the rules.
With a sigh Catherine left her room and went to go find Delia. “Um Delia?” She called out trying to find her babysitter.
“Yes baby?” The voice called back from the kitchen. Catherine found her eating an apple at the table while browsing through her phone.
Leaving no time to build up her nerves, the younger girl got straight to the point. “I have to use the bathroom.” She braced herself for whatever Delia’s response would be.
Letting the words hang in the air, Delia took another crisp bite of apple. “You’re wearing a diaper, Cathy.” She said with her mouth full.
Catherine didn’t like what that answer implied. “But I don’t want to use it! That’s not fair.” She said calmly, doing her best not to sound whiney.
“How is it not fair? You shouldn’t waste things when they can still be used. It’s not a real accident if you know that you’re going. Just sit on the toilet while you do it.” Delia continued to eat the apple and carry on the conversation as if it were common sense.
An answer came into Catherine’s head. “You made me wear a diaper after I…” She paused for a moment, embarrassed at what she had to admit. “-After I had an accident in my pull up. Now you’re making me wet my protection again on purpose. That’s not fair.” She crossed her arms to show her disapproval.
The babysitter stopped mid-bite in her apple. It unnerved Catherine slightly. “Remember what I said this morning Cathy? About being your babysitter and knowing what’s best for you?”
“I do.” Catherine took a deep breath before saying what she had to say next. “But I also think you’re wrong. This isn’t what’s best for me. I’m not going to wet this diaper.”
The chair made a loud noise in the silence that followed as Delia stood up to approach Catherine. For a brief moment the young girl feared that she would get more corner time, or worse. Instead Delia squatted down to look Catherine in the eyes, face to face.
“I’ll let you wear your normal underwear.” Delia began.
The younger girl was shocked at the response. She was getting what she wanted, but the success of her actions still took her by surprise.
“-If,” The babysitter continued with her condition. “If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you will not have another accident. That you truly, honestly, one-hundred percent believe that you don’t need to wear a diaper. Think about it Cathy. What’s worse, a wet diaper or wet pants?”
Suddenly Catherine was not sure of herself. Delia raised a valid point. She felt increasingly nervous as she was forced to stare into her babysitter’s eyes and make a decision. Would it really be so bad to wet her diaper? Delia would change her shortly after, and dry diapers weren’t so bad. She couldn’t ask what the consequences for wetting her pants would be; that would give away her lack of confidence.
“I’ll…” Catherine’s hesitation already gave away her answer. “I’ll wear the diaper.” She said in defeat. Delia once again held her in checkmate.
Something must have softened Delia’s heart because what she said next made Catherine do a double take. “That’s very mature of you Cathy. Go ahead and throw away that diaper and use the potty.” She patted the younger girl’s bottom to signify her to get moving. Delia called out as Catherine took off down the hall. “I’ll be in your room to change you into a new diaper when you’re done!”
The prospect of being made to wear another diaper didn’t exactly excite Catherine, but it was good news nonetheless that Delia decided to let her use the toilet after all. Perhaps all of her brown nosing was starting to pay off. As long as she did what Delia wanted her to do, she would be able to skirt around the rules more often like this. But that had a cost; Catherine was reminded when she walked back into her room. Her babysitter sat waiting on the bed, with diaper and changing supplies laid out neatly. Catherine approached slowly, prolonging the inevitable.
“Lift your dress for me sweetie.” Delia asked.
Catherine gladly did so, grateful for the opportunity to disrobe herself instead of Delia doing it for her. She wished that Delia would allow her to change herself, but she knew that would likely never happen. At least not any time soon. The whole diapering process was just as embarrassing as the last three times. This time however the young girl knew what to expect and instead of focusing on the dreaded diaper she stole a few glances at Delia. The older girl appeared to be particularly enjoying herself despite doing what Catherine would have categorized as a chore. She appeared especially gleeful when sealing the four tapes and straightening up the diaper. Before Catherine could formulate any more suspicions, Delia lifted her off the bed and went to work under the dress to fixing the seating of the diaper further, signaling the end of her diapering.
“All done, cutie!” The babysitter tickled her charge on the sides. “Where do you want to go out to eat tonight? Your mommy left us enough to aaaanywhere you want.”
“Out? Can’t we just eat here?” Catherine suggested, instinctively tugging down the edges of her dress. She wanted to avoid any more outings in her diaper if she could help it.
“No one will see your diaper, if that’s what you’re worried about Cathy.” Delia answered as if reading the younger girl’s thoughts. She then reached for Catherine’s hand and firmly grasped it as she began to lead them to the front door. Apparently her decision had already been made for her.
As she was strung along by Delia, Catherine could swear the diaper she was wearing now was thicker than the previous one. It assured her more and more with each step that she did not want to leave the house with any sort of noticeable waddling. Done with being polite and calm, Catherine tore her hand away before they got outside and yelled childishly. “I don’t want to go out!”
Big mistake. “Catherine lower your voice!” Delia sharply silenced the girl. “If you don’t want to go out, you can tell me quietly like a big girl.” She admonished, once again showing the duality of her personality. “What’s the real reason you don’t want to go out?” Her tone softened again as she leaned down to the other girl’s height.
“It’s the diaper…” Catherine admitted, quietly this time. “This one is way thicker than the last one I was wearing!” She asserted. She instinctively brought her thighs together to affirm the increased thickness again.
Shaking her head, Delia denied it. “You’re just being self-conscious sweetie. It’s the same as the last one I put on you. You can’t stay shut in the house all day just because you’re having accidents.” The babysitter leaned in and slowly enclosed the embarrassed girl in a firm hug.
Catherine tentatively returned it, mumbling weakly. “What if someone sees me waddling though?” She received no answer, but instead felt herself being picked up and carried off. She had been betrayed! “No! Let me go!” The girl squirmed in resistance against her babysitter, though it was difficult from the way she was being held.
The front door was opened and Delia carried the wiggling girl out to the car. “Catherine, if you don’t settle down I’ll put you in the car seat.” The older girl threatened. “You’re acting like a child.”
Still desperately not wanting to go out to dinner, diapered as she was, Catherine continued to struggle. It was a sacrifice to carry on acting like a child as Delia had labeled her, but to Catherine the small chance of escape may be worth it. Her efforts bore no fruit though as she felt herself being deposited into the baby car seat and the tight pull of the seat harness over her chest. Catherine stared blankly ahead regretting her decision to resist as Delia shut the passenger door.
The babysitter walked around the other side of the car, her shoes clacking audibly on the pavement, and situated herself in the driver’s seat. She adjusted the mirror to look back at the defeated Catherine. “Where do you want to eat sweetie?” Delia asked nicely, trying to break the tenuous silence that hung in the air. The car began backing out of the driveway stealing away whatever hopes Catherine may have had for escape from the seat.
Unsure of whether or not to bother answering, Catherine remained silent a moment. Her arms were folded and face contorted into a pout as she stared out the window. The car seat was surprisingly big and accommodated her better than she thought; or perhaps she was little compared to the seat. The thought made Catherine shift uncomfortably against her restraint as if the attempt would make her feel bigger. It only served to affirm her babyish state as she felt the diaper shift beneath her. With reluctance, the young girl apologized quietly. “I’m sorry I was being a brat earlier, Delia. Can I come into the front seat?”
A genuine sympathetic look came into view in the mirror. “Thank you for apologizing, Cathy. But you can’t come up here while we’re driving. You can sit up here on the way back.” Delia negotiated. Her sympathetic look shifted into a condescending one as she added, “You look super adorable back there though. All that’s missing is a pacifier and a stuffed animal!” Catherine blushed and looked away. Without apologizing for embarrassing the girl, Delia continued and asked again, “Have you decided where you want to eat?” They had been driving in the general direction of downtown with no particular destination.
“I guess we could eat at The Hopper.” The younger girl finally answered thinking of the delicious grill restaurant she and her motherly rarely went to.
“Oooh I love The Hopper! Good choice!” Delia said as she switched lanes on the road.
With enough prompting and pestering, Delia managed to get Catherine talking more and more as they drove to their destination. The two girls laughed together and got to know each other a bit better. Catherine learned that Delia was studying to be a childcare worker and hoped to run her own daycare someday. She was taking babysitting jobs to pay her bills in the meantime. Likewise Delia learned from Catherine more about her brother, her interest in science and mathematics, and her ambitions to play chess professionally one day.
They pulled in to the parking lot and exited the car, Catherine with some reluctance. Delia had assured her over and over as they drove to the restaurant that no one would notice anything out of the ordinary with her diaper hidden underneath her dress. While she still didn’t entirely agree, Catherine had resigned to her fate and concentrated more on making her walk look normal. With a little effort she was able to keep her legs in a normal stride even though it made walking slightly uncomfortable. Together the girls walked the short distance across the parking lot and made reservations for a table. A quick twenty minutes later they were seated.
Dinner was pleasant. Catherine had to admit that she had a great time filling up on soda and greasy food; things that were uncommon when her mother was around. She and Delia had even shared a mini dessert. Holding her bloated stomach in content, Catherine sighed happily “Ooooh I’m so full!” She slouched in her booth.
“Me too!” Delia mimicked her after putting cash on top of the receipt for the dinner. “This was a great choice Cathy. Thanks for picking it.” They lay there slumped in their seats a moment longer. “So, ready to go?” The babysitter asked, already getting her keys ready.
“Ugh, okay.” Catherine agreed as she got up out of her seat with difficulty.
Delia walked alongside her charge, putting an arm around her shoulder. “Can you make it to the car? I can carry you.” She offered.
Protesting her independence, Catherine declined. “Err no thanks. I can walk just fine.”
While walking back to the car, Catherine once again felt a strange sensation. To her horror she felt the familiar dampness of her diaper absorbing an accident. It had come so fast and without warning. She felt powerless as she tried to stymie the extent of the accident, but her bladder muscles seemed to be unresponsive. There was no way those sodas should have gone through her system so swiftly. She had only drunk two anyway! Thinking quickly, Catherine decided it would be best to lie and tell Delia she had purposely used her diaper rather than letting Delia find out later and correctly assume it was an accident.
Making sure no one was around to hear Catherine glanced up at her babysitter. “Uhm Delia? I had to use my… diaper… during dinner.” It killed her to admit out loud that it was her own diaper, but it was a necessary evil in this position. She was unsure of how else to phrase the statement than to just announce the situation to Delia and let her handle the rest.
Calmly using the clicker to unlock her car, Delia answered without even looking back at Catherine. “I’ll change you when we get home then. Thank you for telling me sweetie!” She patted the younger girl’s back. Apparently the lie had been accepted without a second thought. The babysitter then went to work in the passenger seat and began unbuckling the booster seat. “There we go, no more baby seats for Cathy!” Delia pronounced cheerily, setting the seat in the back.
Forcing a smile and a thank you, Catherine hopped into the front seat. Even being out of the booster seat and baby car seat, and in her new more adult clothes, she still felt very much like a baby due to her accident. She had assumed the worst, fearing Delia would change her in the parking lot right then and there, but was thankful it didn’t come to that. The car ride home was mostly silent as Catherine disengaged all of Delia’s attempts to start conversation. Delia eventually accepted it and resigned to using the radio to fill the void.
Once the duo had returned home, Delia ushered her charge back to her bedroom and began to array the changing supplies out on the bed. Catherine made no pleas or bargains as Delia changed her, fearing that a diaper was perhaps the best decision right now. During the changing, the young girl again observed the smaller details of the process before. She was once again suspicious at the design of the diaper. It was one she had never seen before and couldn’t find at the local supermarket when she searched the day before. Its size especially struck Catherine as strange, seeing as it fit her well and she was of average proportions for her age. She continued to formulate suspicions as Delia dressed her in her sleeper tank and sweats. It was barely past sundown, but Catherine recalled her babysitter’s rule about getting ready for bed early. The diaper peeked out of her sweats by a good two inches, but Catherine made no attempts to conceal it. There was no point in hiding it while there was no one around to see.
“Can we play chess again?” Catherine asked hopefully as she felt herself being led out of her room. Delia agreed and let the young girl go fetch the game. The game board was quickly set up compared to their last match. It seemed Delia had retained the board setup configuration as she finished her side without assistance. The younger girl calmed her nerves and began postulating strategies to reclaim her victory over her babysitter.
Deciding on an incredibly bold strategy, Catherine moved her first pawn up two spaces. Silence hung in the air as Delia deliberated over her first counter move. Her hand hung hesitantly over several pieces, yet she backed away each time. The young girl fidgeted slightly in her seat as she waited for her second turn to come. Catherine noted that Delia seemed much more serious and into the game this time compared to the last. She- wait.
Delia was making her move. Could it be? The anxiety was killing her as Catherine followed the movements inch by inch with her eyes in disbelief. The enemy pawn had mirrored her exact move, leaving the enemy king perfectly exposed for the classic Fool’s Mate. Catherine had won in the quickest possible way thanks to her opponent’s botched move. Taking time to gloat, the younger girl pretended to be preoccupied with deciding her move and perfectly concealed her grin. She placed her hand on the queen piece that would bring her victory as she glanced over at her opponent to witness the moment of realization where she knew she had lost.
But it never came. Why? Did Delia not understand she had lost? She had to have. Catherine hesitated and kept her hand on the queen trying to figure out why Delia showed no signs of despair. Was Delia letting her win? But why?
“Maybe…” Catherine thought reluctantly, “Maybe there’s more than just winning and losing.” She begrudgingly released the queen and moved a different piece.
The game went on for a long time. Longer than most games Catherine played. She had to admit it was more fun than most too. There were points when either girl could have claimed victory, but instead they resorted to wacky tactics and mimicking one another intermittently. In the end, Delia had won by cornering Catherine’s king with her own king and a pawn. The defeat didn’t feel like one at all though. It was a fun match, something she had thought was impossible without winning or being completely serious.
“That was fun Catherine.” Delia said as she began cleaning up the pieces, with Catherine helping. It seemed she was done with chess for the night. “What do you want to play next?” She asked excitedly once the game was put away.
Her babysitter’s energy was boundless. Catherine groaned inwardly. She was feeling relatively tired tonight despite how early it was, though she resolved to stay up as long as Delia would allow. Extended bedtimes were not something to be wasted!
“I’m just going to go back to my room now.” The younger girl responded. Staying out in the living room with Delia would end with her falling asleep for sure.
“But what are you going to do in there? You can’t have fun just shutting yourself all alone in your room!” Delia persisted.
Clearly Delia did not understand Catherine’s idea of fun. However, she didn’t want to tell her babysitter that she would be writing in her journal the rest of the night. Avoiding any possible invitation, the girl dismissed the question with a lie. “I’m going to go read again.”
Giving up, Delia let Catherine walk off while calling out with a disappointed, “Okay.” She then added, “I’ll be in to check you and change you if you need it at ten”
Suppressing a wince, Catherine returned to her room without a response. She threw herself onto her bed and whipped out her black diary and began writing. Pausing thoughtfully between sentences, Catherine carefully pondered each word she wrote down. Her handwriting danced with the ink across line after line. After about an hour of jotting down her thoughts, a neatly written list lined the page of Catherine’s secret journal. She reread it to herself to ensure she had not made any mistakes.
“Delia is my newest babysitter as of September 24th 2013. From the two times she has watched me, I’ve noticed several inconsistencies and oddities in her behavior which I have listed here.
– Why did Delia have a dress in my exact size the first time she watched me?
– Why did Delia buy me new clothes of her own free will?
– Why does Delia carry around diapers and pull ups in my size?
– The diapers Delia uses are a brand I’ve never seen in stores, even after searching for them. Are they special ordered? If so, then why?
– Why does Delia enforce me to use diapers when I am capable of using the bathroom?
– It seems that Delia likes to humiliate me at every possible opportunity. Maybe it’s just my imagination. But I’ve noticed the condescending look she gives me while changing me.
– Why does Delia insist on being the one to diaper me? I’m more than capable, and I don’t believe her excuses for not letting me do it myself.
The pen stopped flying across the pages as Catherine paused a long moment before making her final accusation in the journal.
- Why do I only have accidents when Delia is around?
She closed the pages abruptly with a loud thwack and hid her secret journal away.
The remainder of Catherine’s evening was spent fighting her fatigue and reading through one of her newly rented books. Her mind would occasionally flicker back to what she wrote in her journal earlier. The confrontations with Delia earlier in the day and Thursday plagued her mind, in addition to the thought of what torment lay in store for her tomorrow and the weeks to come if Delia stuck around that long.
A knock at the door interrupted the young girl’s thoughts. Before she could answer to allow Delia in, her babysitter opened the door and let herself in of her own accord. Catherine was annoyed and took the initiative to speak before Delia, already knowing what she would want.
“Could you knock and wait for me to call you in before you let yourself in next time?” She tried to conceal her annoyance, but the tone still seemed to carry incredulousness as if it were a fact everyone should already know.
“But I did knock…?” Delia answered, seeming to miss the point as she looked back at the door reflexively.
Remaining calm, Catherine tried to correct her. “I meant that it’s rude to come into someone’s room without their permission.”
Delia furrowed her brow and appeared to have something negative to say, but her facial expression changed and she apologized. “Ooooh, sorry! I’m just here to check you and tell you that it’s bedtime.” She approached her charge, reaching for the waistband of her sweats.
“I’m dry.” Catherine said quietly to stop her babysitter, though she still put her hands up defensively to ward off any potential humiliating diaper checks. “But I do have to go to the bathroom…” She trailed off hoping Delia would let her off the hook again. Her urge to use the bathroom wasn’t very strong at all, but Catherine was taking precautions to avoid wetting the bed and giving Delia further reason to make her wear diapers or pull ups tomorrow.
If Delia was disappointed at missing the chance to inspect Catherine’s diaper, it didn’t show. She straightened her posture and told Catherine nonchalantly, “I’ll change you tomorrow morning then,” ignoring the implication the younger girl was trying to convey.
Deciding to challenge her babysitter, Catherine responded without whining. “I don’t want to have to use… this diaper.” She didn’t want to refer to the diaper as hers.
“You know my rules, Cathy.” The older girl countered, “It’s a waste of diapers. I won’t count it as an accident since you told me. You won’t be punished for it.” She tried to reassure the younger girl.
Expecting that answer, Catherine saw her opportunity and leapt. “But it’s not a waste.” She said flatly. Waiting for her words to sink in, she tactfully waited to cut off Delia just as she was about to respond. “If I have to go… you’ll have to take off the diaper one way or another. The only difference is when.”
The words hung in the air as Catherine stared back at Delia, trying to think how she might respond. She searched her babysitter’s expression to glean what she may be thinking. For a split second it seemed Delia was going to deny Catherine’s logic anyway. Catherine could almost feel Delia frantically searching for an appropriate response.
Finally, the silence was broken. “I guess…” Delia began slowly, “I never really thought about it like that. You’re a smart one, aren’t you?” She praised Catherine and ruffled her hair. Lifting Catherine off the bed, Delia set her down and let her run off. “Go ahead and brush your teeth and use the toilet.”
Containing her euphoria, Catherine did as she was told and went through her final nightly routine. She now had ammo to use against Delia if she ever had to get out of a situation like this again. As she was brushing her teeth Catherine couldn’t help but smile widely. Her plan had worked, thanks to Delia’s flawed logic and her own planning and problem solving. It certainly helped her to think writing down all her thoughts earlier.
Catherine brought the unused diaper back into her room with her. She had the foresight to know that her mother may see it in the bathroom trash if she left it there. Delia seemed to understand and wordlessly accepted the diaper from her charge and stuffed it into a Ziploc and tossed it into the diaper bag. Hopping back onto the bed, Catherine laid herself down and began pulling her sweatpants off expecting to be diapered again before bed. She stopped herself though after noticing Delia had not pulled out any new diaper supplies.
“I’m going to give you a choice, Catherine.” The babysitter said, scooting herself closer to the young girl. “You said that you don’t wet the bed, but you’ve had an accident today.”
The accusation made Catherine cringe slightly.
Delia continued. “But that might have been just a one-time accident. If you think it was, I won’t make you wear a diaper tonight. But only if you are absolutely certain you won’t have another accident.”
The decision was laid out for Catherine. On one hand, she had actually had two accidents today, giving her good reason to doubt her own abilities to stay dry overnight. On the other hand, Catherine would hate to admit that she needed a diaper. She could only imagine the repercussions if she had an accident without protection that night.
“Can I wear a pull up instead?” Catherine tried to compromise. Her choice betrayed her lack of confidence.
In that lack of confidence, Delia had her answer and began to lay out the changing mat and diaper supplies.
The young girl futilely protested as she slowly inched away. “Nooo, please, I won’t have an accident. I swear!” Though she knew her pleas would fall on deaf ears.
Ignoring the minor struggle, Delia gently but firmly pulled Catherine back towards her. She went through the expected routine; lifting Catherine’s legs high in air by the ankles, positioning the diaper, powder, and finally securing the tapes, symbolically imprisoning the little girl and condemning her to humiliation. Delia checked the waistband and tugged at the leg holes, confirming a job well done, and pulled the sweatpants back up to hide the diaper and its cartoon prints.
It was all Catherine could do but to keep from blushing redder than she already was. She cursed herself for not lying in the first place. Her hesitation ended with her admitting that she needed to be diapered for the night. Deep down though, Catherine convinced herself that this was probably for the best, and tried to reassure herself that no one would know about this but herself and Delia.
“There.” The babysitter announced proudly, placing her hands on her hips. “If you need anything tonight don’t be afraid to come get me, Cathy. Goodnight” Delia said as she slowly backed out of the room and switched the light off. The door swung into place and the handle clicked loudly as the older girl left.
Once again, for the second night out of three, Catherine tossed and turned trying to get comfortable with the bulky diaper secured around her waist. Every movement, no matter how small, reminded her of the importance of her ability to stay dry on this particular night. If she awoke dry, she may be free from Delia every trying to diaper her or baby-ify her ever again. If she woke up wet… Catherine pushed the thoughts away, trying to think of other things. Still, her thoughts always came back to the diapers. Delia seemed insistent that Catherine wear them at every possible opportunity. Sleep began to take its hold on the little girl and her eyes ever-frequently fluttered shut and open as dreams began to blanket her consciousness. Catherine’s last thoughts were of how she could possibly take revenge on Delia for humiliating her so.
Morning came just as fast as sleep had. The birds chirped loudly outside, but they were desperately ignored by the groaning, half-asleep girl inside. Senses slowly focused Catherine’s thoughts as the Sunday morning became too difficult to ignore. With much effort, she was able to slide partially off the bed and force herself to stand with some support from the bed frame. In a slight stupor, Catherine instinctively walked in a trance down the hall towards the kitchen.
The young girl sat at the table with a light crinkle. She had opted to not bother taking the diaper off, unsure of Delia’s rules regarding taking it off. The diaper felt dry anyway and Catherine didn’t need to use the bathroom at the moment. The light tinkling sound of hardened sugary cereal pouring into a bowl was deafening in the silence of the Soulland residence. Noticing the time on the clock, Catherine mentally shrugged surprised that Delia was not up yet. Some babysitter she was turning out to be.
Catherine finished her meal and put away the food and dishes before heading towards the bathroom to shower and prepare for the day ahead. Before she could make it though, Delia stepped out of the guest room to block the younger girl’s path. If death had a physical form, Delia looked like it. Catherine felt chills down her spine just looking at what she was unsure was her babysitter. Morning clearly did not get along with Delia.
“Coffee.” Delia stated gutturally, shuffling past Catherine as if she weren’t there.
Steering clear of her babysitter, Catherine began to backpedal towards the bathroom while keeping a fearful eye on the visage of what she assumed to be her babysitter. She took a moment to breathe after making sure the door was locked. After some deep breaths and convincing herself that Delia was in fact not a zombie, Catherine resumed her normal morning routine, showering and drying herself off. She tip-toed back to her room and set about dressing herself for the day.
Catherine stopped when reaching for her normal underwear though. What would Delia expect her to wear? She had spent most of yesterday in a diaper, but without incident as far as her babysitter was concerned. Surely Delia wouldn’t expect her to wear another one. Come what may, Catherine decided to accept whatever consequences came and donned her normal underwear as she did any other day.
“Good morning!” Delia called out cheerily sipping her steamy coffee as Catherine entered the kitchen.
“Good… morning?” The young girl replied suspiciously. It seemed Delia was back to her usual chipper disposition, though her appearance still resembled something ghoulish. It made sense that she wouldn’t have had a chance to use the shower since Catherine occupied it earlier.
The two exchanged normal morning pleasantries as Delia finished her coffee and breakfast. After a while however, the babysitter inquired about Catherine’s diaper last night. The younger girl reported that she was indeed dry that morning, trying her best to mask any sassiness at the indignation of her babysitter implying that she doubted Catherine’s ability to keep her bed dry. Despite the exception three days ago, her record in that area was not spotty at all and she intended to make that clear to her babysitter. The maturity Catherine tried to assert was a fruitless effort as all she received from Delia was a patronizing exclamation of “Good girl!”
The older girl excused herself after wolfing down the rest of her breakfast to finish preparing for the day. She came back, hair wet, soon after.
“So what do you want to do today Cathy?” She once again left the decision of the day’s activities up to her charge.
“I want to play dress up!” Catherine had a cheeky plan, surprising her babysitter with the suggestion.
“You… do? Okay then.” The answer had caught Delia off guard as she walked towards her room to retrieve the overnight bag to fish out the few outfits she had brought along.
“Yeah, I want to see what cute outfits you can wear!” The little girl proposed. “Let’s see how she likes being dressed up.” Catherine thought deviously.
Delia had to stop and process what Catherine was prepositioning her with. “Uhh I don’t really have any outfits that can fit me Cathy. It would be more fun if you tried on some of these dresses I have. I brought them for you.” She tried to reason.
“But I think it would be more fun to see you try them on.”
“I told you they won’t fit, Catherine.” Delia insisted.
“Have you even tried? Can we please try? For me?” Catherine did her best puppy eyes and pouted adorably, pleading to her babysitter.
Frustration began to show on Delia’s face. “The answer is no. We’ll find something else to play if you don’t want to play dress up.”
Disappointed that her plan had not worked, Catherine excused herself to go play in her room alone. She booted up her computer and played Chessmates Online for a couple hours. Every victory fueled her with self-esteem and the rush of a power trip for every clever move. She found herself using tricks and changing her normal strategy based on her games with Delia and Smitty yesterday. Playing against opponents that could give feedback after the game proved to be a great learning experience. Maybe when Catherine next asked her mother she would finally be allowed to find and enter a local junior chess tournament. Mrs. Soulland had been reluctant to allow Catherine to compete, for unexplained reasons.
A knock at the bedroom door pulled Catherine out of her little world and shook her concentration. Delia let herself in once again without permission and announced that lunch was ready. At that point, Catherine didn’t even bother to remind her of the rules about knocking on her door and awaiting permission before entering. It seemed like a waste of time to try to impede Delia from doing things her own way. It was unlikely Catherine would see her much more anyway, given how fleeting any babysitter was in the Soulland house.
Delia seemed uncharacteristically quiet as the two girls enjoyed their sandwiches. It seemed she had surprisingly run out of things to say. Catherine told herself that she didn’t care much, but as the silence bore on she felt the increasing need to say something. With a bit of reluctance and uncertainty she quietly spoke, “Um, Delia? Are you okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Nothing’s wrong.” Delia answered unconvincingly.
“… You sure?” Catherine pressed for an answer.
“Well, Cathy, to tell you the truth, I was thinking about what’s going to happen when your mommy comes back this afternoon.” There was a pause. “I’ve been thinking about the accidents you’ve had when I’ve been watching you…” She tried to breach the subject lightly, seeing Catherine blush at the mention of her accidents.
“I think it would be best if we told your mother about them. I’m worr-”
“No!” The younger girl cut Delia off in protest.
Calmly reaching over with a napkin, Delia began to wipe off bits of sandwich from Catherine’s face that she had accidentally spit in her outburst. “It’s the right thing to do Cathy. I believe you when you say that you don’t normally have accidents, so you might be sick and need to get a checkup at the doctor’s.”
Catherine continued to plead, “Please, my Mom already treats me like a little girl. Telling her I’m having accidents will make her never trust me with any responsibility ever!” The look on Delia’s face told her that she was beginning to sympathize with her plight.
“What if you have another accident though? You need to see a doctor to find out the cause of this.”
“I won’t have another accident!”
“You’ve said that before. But accidents are accidents, and you can’t always see them coming…”
The retort crushed Catherine. In desperation she volunteered a last effort solution, “I- I could wear pull ups during the day until my accidents stop.”
It wasn’t enough though. “That may work Cathy, but I can’t be the one to keep supplying you with protection. Two or three diapers or pull ups is one thing, but we don’t know how long this will go on. Your mommy will have to buy some for you herself. Plus what would other babysitters say if you had to keep this secret without me?”
“You promised you wouldn’t tell my mom though!” Catherine cried.
That gave the older girl some pause. Apparently the appeal to her honor had stirred a response in Delia.
“… Well. I did promise, didn’t I?” She began. “But I’m not really sure on where to go from here Catherine. I can’t have your mommy thinking I’m covering up your accidents without telling her. That would end up bad for both of us.”
“She’s coming home this afternoon. I’ll tell her myself, only if it comes down to it. I just need one more chance to prove it to you that those other times were flukes.” Catherine held her breath after her proposition.
The silence and Delia’s thoughtful stare gave Catherine nervous butterflies as she awaited her babysitter’s approval, or denial.
“Alright,” The older girl started, “But any more accidents on my watch and this won’t be up for discussion. Deal?”
“Deal.” The girls shook hands as a sign of agreement. There was no going back on their words now.
Delia continued, “You can keep the two pull ups I left in your dresser drawer. How you use them is up to you. You may want to save one for school tomorrow. Just in case.”
With that the two finished their lunches and spent the rest of the day watching TV, reading books together, and occasional chatter. Catherine was plagued with worry over the thought of having another accident all the while. Perhaps Delia had been right assuming she was ill. It was a plausible explanation. She was not too deep in the lie to think of a way suggesting a visit to the doctor though; all it would take is a few more white lies. In the meantime, Catherine constantly reminded herself to beware of her bladder as time pressed on. One more accident and that would ruin all the bargaining she had fought for earlier. Despite her concerns it felt great to be out of pull ups or diapers and in her normal underwear for the first time since yesterday morning. She aimed to keep it that way by taking plenty of bathroom breaks throughout the day.
Mrs. Soulland returned later that evening, just before dinner, to relieve Delia of her charge. Catherine and her shared a parting hug and with a sly wink, the babysitter was gone. Catherine and her mother talked briefly while dinner was prepared about how their weekends were and other family talk. Mrs. Soulland was surprised to hear that her daughter had gotten along so well with Delia, comparatively speaking. Usually she had nothing much to say at all about any given babysitter, much less positive remarks.
“So would you want to me hire her again next time you need a babysitter?” The mother asked her daughter while chopping some vegetables.
Catherine evaded the question “Can’t I watch myself yet?” She felt she already knew the answer, but it was always worth asking.
“Not a chance, Catherine.”
The young girl breathed a soft sigh and pouted at that. It wasn’t like she needed constant attention and care. How hard could it be taking care of herself? She didn’t press the matter any further though. There was little room for negotiation when it came to her mother. Mrs. Soulland’s question still remained unanswered though.
“Delia’s… nice” She said slowly. Truth be told, she would rather avoid Delia if possible. There was something fishy about her, though she couldn’t quite place it. And that is what changed Catherine’s mind. It was a mystery that needed solving, and she was the girl to do it.
Her mother nodded in confirmation and finished preparing the dinner for two. The little family sat together and ate their supper together. Halfway through the meal Mrs. Soulland reminded Catherine to finish her homework as soon as her meal was finished. Knowing that she did indeed have to finish her schoolwork, the young girl reluctantly acknowledged the duty and soon after excused herself.
Homework was dull as usual for Catherine. To keep from being consumed by apathy and boredom, she wrote in her black journal between problems. Words spilled from the fine pen as ink dragged across the pages. She wrote more about her suspicions of Delia, how she would approach Jenny about the diapers if at all, and a lengthy description of the wonderful feeling she had from toying with an enemy player in a chess match earlier. But soon Catherine had to abandon her journal and secret it away again, as she knew her mother would be checking in soon to ensure her homework was done just before bed time. That was the purpose of her pink journal; it served as a decoy journal to protect her black journal. No one would think to look for a second diary after finding the first one. To her knowledge, no one had found either yet, so her secrets remained safe.
Under the pressure of time Catherine quickly finished the last of her work and preemptively prepared for bed. Her mother was knocking at the door just as she had finished changing into a nightie. Catherine called her in and said goodnight. Mrs. Soulland took her daughter’s laundry basket before exiting. Taking a book to bed with her, Catherine spent the last 30 minutes of her night reading and pondering in-between pages and chapters. She spent most of that time worrying if she might actually be sick and whether or not she ought to tell her mother. That brought her attention to the worry of possibly wetting that night.
Swallowing her pride, Catherine quietly slinked from her bed to her dresser and extracted one of the pull ups Delia left behind. Leaving no time for hesitation, she quickly swapped her underwear for the padded training pants. Catherine let out a defeated sigh. The feeling of the pull ups hugging her waist was an unwelcome feeling and left her dwelling on the familiar padded sensation she had been feeling all too much of in the last few days and nights, though the pull-up was infinitely more comfortable than a diaper. Still, if everything went according to plan, and she was indeed not sick, Catherine wouldn’t have to worry about it ever again. On that optimistic thought, the young girl hopped into bed and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.
The days following the pleasant holiday on Monday were back to business as usual for Catherine. She had woken up dry as expected on Monday morning, solidifying her belief that she was not sick. She never bothered to mention anything of the weekend’s awkward events to her mother. It seemed that Delia had been wrong once again, further fueling her suspicions about her overbearing babysitter. School dragged on Tuesday as usual for the bored girl. Halfway through the week however, at lunch, Catherine nearly ran face first into someone as she had just finished washing her hands in the bathroom.
“Oh, sorry!” She had said, stepping back and allowing the other girl to walk past her into the bathroom.
“It’s okay.” Jenny replied and walked into the bathroom.
Jenny! Of course! Catherine had nearly forgotten about her with the eventful weekend she had. Stealing a quick glance over her shoulder, she could not confirm if Jenny was wearing a diaper or not as she appeared to be wearing a skirt today. Caught in the moment, Catherine tried to size up the opportunity that was presented to her. To her knowledge, no one else was in the bathroom but her and Jenny at the moment. It was a perfect chance to confront her about why she was wearing diapers. But would it be right? Catherine knew the other girl would be terribly embarrassed, but her curiosity began overpowering her will. Without thinking, Catherine turned and exited the bathroom, leaving Jenny in privacy. This wasn’t the time nor place to satisfy her curiosity.
“But how to approach her then…?” Catherine inwardly mused to herself. The lunch bell rang just as the girl had come up with a daring plan, signaling the start of next class would be soon. Catherine had put herself into Jenny’s shoes and imagined what such a confrontation would be like. She assumed the only way Jenny would open up would be to have great trust in another person. What greater symbol of trust could there be than another person sharing the same struggles? It would be risky, and extremely embarrassing if she were caught, but Catherine decided she would have to wear one of her pull ups to school the next day and show Jenny as a gesture of trust to ask her about her own diapers.
The rest of the day went by quickly for the little schemer as she daydreamed in class about the terrifying thought of being caught wearing a pull up the next day by a class mate or teacher, or worse yet her mother, and how she could react. Her habit of overthinking the plausible situations caused the girl to be called out and put on spot by teachers that doubted she was paying attention. Catherine was able to answer some, but left to be snickered at for blatantly wrong answers by some of her classmates during other questions where she was left stuttering and fumbling.
The final bell for that day was a welcome sound and sensation to Catherine’s ears, as she nearly shot up from her desk while frantically packing away her notebooks and pencils. In truth she had no reason to hurry since her mother wouldn’t be there to pick her up from school for another thirty minutes at least, yet still, a classroom was the last place Catherine wanted to be. Sitting up against a chain fence, the girl’s boredom eventually got the best of her and she got a half-hearted start on the week’s homework while waiting for her ride. Mrs. Soulland pulled up in her white car at the normal time, 3:30 on the dot, and drove herself and Catherine home.
When the family arrived at home there was a package at the doorstep. Catherine knew it to be her present from Grant, but also regretted that she had no way to smuggle it in without her mother knowing before she would unlock the door.
“Oh, what’s this?” Mrs. Soulland inquired as she noticed the fairly large package, approaching the front door.
Holding up the package Catherine answered, “This is Grant’s birthday present to me. He told me it would be coming soon.”
“Well put it in the closet then.” The mother replied, audibly jamming her keys into the door lock as she spoke, “You know your birthday isn’t for another three weeks. You can wait to open it then.” She swung the door open to let herself and her daughter inside.
“Okaaaaay” Catherine relented, dejectedly, and took the package down the hall towards her room and stashed in the closet as she was instructed. “How am I supposed to wait three weeks knowing the best present ever is twenty feet from my room!?” She thought frustratedly before putting away her backpack in her room.
Afternoon passed into evening as Catherine enjoyed playing a few games of Chessmates, winning all of them with deadly precision and tact. Her time spent having fun however was cut short with the announcement that dinner was ready. Mrs. Soulland pointedly reminded Catherine to finish her homework after dinner was done before playing any games. Catherine deemed none of her assignments worth doing and acknowledged her mother, lying her way into a free evening.
She spent the rest of the night before bed reading and some occasional jotting in her secret black diary. Most of the notes outlined her concerns and intent about approaching Jenny the next day. Catherine’s stomach tied in knots just thinking about it, but she knew it had to be done.
The next morning found Catherine filled with butterflies. She lay awake in bed before her mother even came in to ensure she was up in time to get ready for school. Allowing no time for hesitation, the young girl took the first steps of her plan and brought them to reality.
Mrs. Soulland was surprised to see Catherine already dressed at such an early time, and coming out for breakfast without needing to be awoken. “Perhaps she’s showing signs of maturity after all” The mother mused as she set plates and silverware on the table. Pancakes and eggs were served before the two ladies packed up for the day and set off in the car.
Catherine masked her discomfort at the odd sensation between her legs well. She felt a small bit of familiarity from having worn the same pull up just a few days ago, thanks to Delia, but the infantile underwear still bothered her slightly. More so than the unusual feeling, Catherine was much more concerned over constant threat of her mother, and soon her peers, seeing what she was wearing. What would they think if they saw? What would they say? What would SHE say if someone called her out? The best way to avoid all of those unsettling outcomes would be to never be discovered in the first place, Catherine resolved. She pushed those unpleasant possibilities out of her mind as she kissed her mother goodbye and entered the proverbial frying pan.
It seemed that all of Catherine’s wracked nerves were for naught, as no one said or word or gave any indication that something was amiss for the first two classes of the day. There was even a moment where Catherine briefly forgot she was wearing a pull up. Just two more classes, then her opportunity to speak to Jenny would be in sight. There was no guarantee that she would get the chance though. What if Jenny didn’t need to use the bathroom during lunch that day? Well, that wouldn’t make sense. She was wearing a diaper right? Couldn’t she just go whenever she needed and change later? Catherine was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she only noticed at the last moment that Jenny had been excused from class to go to the bathroom.
This boded terribly for her lunch plans. Almost without thinking, the young girl shot her arm into the air with desperation. “May I go to the bathroom please?” Catherine asked with the slightest touch of feigned urgency.
The instructor had a look for frustration and annoyance. It was commonly known that most teachers only allowed one student to leave for a bathroom break at a time. “Make it quick, Catherine.” The woman said curtly before returning to writing something on the whiteboard.
The younger girl let out a sincere thank you, ignoring the hushed laughter of her classmates, before quietly bolting out the door and into the hall. It seemed that never asking to use the bathroom, as well as performing well in class, had afforded her some leniency with restroom privileges. Power-walking towards the bathroom, Catherine mentally prepped her for the confrontation she was about to have. Entering at the perfect time, Catherine saw Jenny just leaving her stall and moving to wash her hands.
“Oh Jenny, hey.” Catherine said casually, getting the girl’s attention.
“Hi,” Jenny paused for the slightest of moments before saying her name, as if she had trouble remembering, “Catherine.”
Things would quickly turn awkward from here so Catherine jumped right into the subject, “I…” she trailed off. “wanted to ask you about something.” Her eyes flicked down towards Jenny’s shorts for the briefest of seconds.
Jenny’s smile noticeably dropped as she saw Catherine’s eyes dart down. She blushed a little and asked, “A-about what?” stuttering slightly.
“I couldn’t help but notice,” Catherine began, before going in for the kill, “why are you wearing diapers?”
The other girl avoided eye contact and evaded the question, “That’s none of your business!” she hissed, not even bothering to deny the implied accusation.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Catherine apologized profusely, “I just…” She prepared herself for the moment of truth, and looked over her shoulder before lowering the waistband of her jeans to show Jenny. “I-I’ve recently had to wear these to school sometimes and I thought that we might… have something… in common?” Catherine trailed off a bit, fully feeling how lame her attempts at espionage were now that she said it aloud.
It seemed to work however, as Jenny stood shocked at the revelation of another girl standing before her in nearly equally infantile undergarments. “I… um.” She still stammered, unsure of how to respond as Catherine hiked up her pants and buttoned them. “It’s a-uh long story, I mean, not really, it’s just that-” Jenny appeared to be nearly literally tripping over her own words, struggling to form a coherent sentence.
“I get it, it’s okay. You know your secret is safe with me, Jenny.” The girl put a reassuring hand on Jenny’s shoulder, before Jenny pulled her in for a tight hug.
Jenny smiled, her head resting on Catherine’s shoulder, “Thank you for understanding.” She said softly. Her words came out slowly, but more confidently now, “Why don’t you sit with us at lunch? Me and Juan sit at the benches on the side of the B building. Maybe I can tell you there.”
Catherine called after Jenny as she left the bathroom, “Oh-okay!” Everything went much better than she had expected. Perhaps she would finally get some answers. The girl made an effort to use the toilet to validate her visit to the restroom and washed her hands. It seemed that her plans at deception had been successful, in no small thanks to her wild card.
Class drudged on as it normally did for Catherine, upon her return to the classroom. She spent a majority of the lesson working on the homework that she already understood, even though it wouldn’t be due until Monday, a few days from then. The bell for lunch sounded, and Catherine sidled up alongside Jenny as they left the classroom to get their food. Already having a brown bag lunch lovingly packed by her mother, the young girl kept Jenny company in the cafeteria line as she picked her daily lunch from the buffet-like line.
Conversation came awkwardly at first. Neither girl knew particularly much about the other except the secret they now shared, and the lunch line was certainly no place for that discussion. As time went on however, they began to exchange normal pleasantries that grade school girls would, talking about which boys were cool and which were dumb cootie factories, their favorite cartoons, and perhaps most importantly to Catherine; their idolization of their older siblings and cousins. Catherine prattled on almost too much about her brother Grant to her new friend until they joined Juan at the benches.
A bit shy, and a bit short, Juan gawked at Catherine’s presence as the girls joined him until Jenny spoke up, “Juan, you know Catherine. She’s sitting with us today.”
On that note, Juan relaxed if only somewhat. “Okay, hi Catherine.” Juan said in a bit of squeaky voice, pushing his large glasses into place. Making himself busy, Juan then buried himself in his food to avoid any potential awkward conversation.
Catherine responded with a polite, “Hi Juan.” She also pretended to be busy by stuffing her face with her lunch.
The group was silent for a short while before Jenny broke that silence, wiping a bit of mustard from her mouth. “So… why are you wearing… you know…” She began slowly, implying the obvious as she gestured at Catherine.
Thinking up a clever lie, Catherine replied haltingly with a vague answer. “… I’ve… just had some accidents over the weekend and I think I might be sick. So I’m wearing my old… bed wetting… protection.” For sake of her pride, she added, “just in case!” with a blush.
“So your mom and dad don’t know?” Juan asked curiously with a sniffle. “You’re lucky.”
“Why?” The pale girl asked, not yet realizing the implication.
Suddenly confronted, Juan struggled a moment with how to respond. Catherine picked up on what he meant before anyone said anything. This boy must be wearing diapers too. One lightning quick glance down to his waist confirmed her suspicions. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t…” She fumbled.
“It’s okay.” Juan started, seeming to relax a bit. Still not making eye contact, he began again with a deep breath, “I guess you can know. A couple months ago I started having accidents at night. I don’t know why but I did.” The young boy stopped to shakily take a drink of water and wet his parched mouth. “Then it started getting worse every night until it started during the day too. My mom and dad already had me wearing… these at night, so instead of taking me to the doctor they just made me wear them during the day too. And well… here I am.” He took a bite of his sandwich, blushing, still having trouble making eye contact with Catherine.
Not knowing what else to do, Catherine placed a reassuring hand on Juan’s shoulder, “I’m sorry that happened to you.” She could feel him shaking slightly. Her words wouldn’t help him at all in his situation, but she at least felt it would make him more comfortable.
At last the boy looked up at Catherine from his food and smiled. “Thanks.”
Leaving little time for silence, Jenny jumped in and spoke next. “Since we’re all on the topic of confessions I guess you want to know how I ended up like this now.” Jenny said as she gestured slightly down at herself.
It was true; the curiosity was beginning to figuratively kill Catherine as she hid her anxiousness. “A little,” she admitted.
Jenny spoke more confidently than Juan had. It seemed she was much more confident with her disposition. “Alright, so my story is kinda the same as Juan’s. I had an accident during the day first, but my babysitter said it was only going to be a one-time thing. And I thought so too.”
Catherine’s blood ran cold at the mention of Jenny’s babysitter. The scenario sounded disturbingly similar to her own. Could it be more than coincidence? She looked to the other girl and continued listening.
“… But it wasn’t a one-time thing. Obviously. I began to have accidents more and more. And my babysitter, Delia, was really nice about it. She helped me hide my accidents and convinced me to start wearing pull ups during the day. It helped a lot. But eventually I was having accidents all the time and we had to tell my parents. You know where it goes from there.” Jenny concluded.
Delia. Catherine was almost too stunned to say anything. Her thoughts were racing, trying to piece together what she had just heard. “There’s no way Jenny and me would have the same babysitter and be in the same situation.” She thought. “Delia is going to do to me what she did to Jenny. I’m going to be stuck wearing diapers like her.” Shifting her weight on the bench, Catherine was reminded of the pull-up she was wearing. Only then did it hit her just how deep she was in Delia’s clutches already. She felt sick and wanted to throw up.
Speaking up, Juan asked “Are you okay?” noticing Catherine’s nausea.
“Y-yeah I’m fine.” She answered, her voice started shaky but gained composure. “I was just thinking about what’s me. I hope my accidents don’t get worse like you guys.” Quickly adding, “No offense.”
The other two nodded sympathetically.
Rubbing Catherine’s back, Jenny comforted her. “You’ll be fine. Just go the bathroom all the time even if you don’t feel like going.” Juan nodded in silent agreement.
Being reminded to use the bathroom by two people still in diapers was almost more than Catherine could handle. She politely excused herself. “That’s a good idea. I’ll go right now. See you guys in class.” Hastily grabbing her backpack, Catherine walked off for the bathroom.
Locking herself in a stall, Catherine sat on the closed lid of the toilet, hands shaking as she hung her backpack on the stall hook. Everything made sense to her now: why Delia had diapers her size, why Delia made excuses to get her to wear diapers, her accidents. It was all Delia’s fault, somehow. Her fists were balled up in an effort to keep them from shaking, but it was doing little good. She felt powerless. She felt scared.
In that moment, admitting that she was frightened, something snapped into place. Her fear was gone, but she was swelling with a new emotion. Anger. Anger at Delia for trying to do this to her. Anger at herself for not seeing the danger sooner. Anger for not being strong enough to stop it. Or was she?
The bell rang signifying the end of lunch, pulling the pale girl out of her thoughts. Taking a minute to begrudgingly use the toilet before leaving, Catherine gathered up her things and started to head to class. Her anger had since subsided but her thoughts still dwelt on Delia. Why? Why was the only thing that really bothered her. Why would Delia go to the trouble of getting her and Jenny into diapers? What was her angle? Did this have something to do with Delia’s dream to run her own daycare? Catherine shuddered at the thought of Delia being in charge of a daycare, diapering up any poor unsuspecting child she wished. Perhaps it was an exaggeration, but the thought still left a bad taste in her mouth.
The rest of the day passed in a blur as only one thought occupied Catherine’s mind. How to stop Delia? It was no longer a matter of if she could, or not.